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Young, In Love, and Pregnant: Our Journey To Parenthood

on November 13, 2012 by Jami Balmet 47 comments

Yes, we are young. We were young to get married and we are young to be having our first two babies {it’s Twins}.

I will have 2 babies before I am 23 years old. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Just as our wedding was planned so are these babies {okay we were not expecting twins}. About a year after we were married I started getting the baby bug.

I was so excited to start a family and we spent many nights dreaming of what our family would do together: Saturdays spent at the park, bike riding together, and family dinners. I dreamed of homeschooling them and we spent more hours talking and discussing what that would look like.

But we knew we were not quite ready yet. If the Lord willed then we would have our first baby on HIS timing. But we knew we needed to save up a bit more and my husband was waiting for that perfect promotion so he could more fully support us with his one income {plus I wanted to finish college…minor details}.

So we waited {him more patiently than me} and finally this year decided we were both really ready to start trying. The only problem was – we lived over 8 hours away from both of our families. We didn’t want to raise our kids away from our family who we are so close to.

We wanted our kids to know their aunts and uncles and have close relationships with their family {plus the support of having family nearby certainly appealed to us}.

You can read more about God’s perfect timing in my husband’s job but God provided the means and the way for my husband to get that big promotion, for us to move close to family, and for me to quit my full-time job to be a Stay at Home Wife {SAHW}.

Photo Credit 

We had decided to start trying this summer for kids anyway because it didn’t seem likely that we would be moving closer to family anytime soon. Little did we know that God had big plans for this year.

In March 2012 my husband was offered his dream promotion in the city an hour and a half away from our families! He took the job and we began the preparations! And this meant that our baby plans were right on schedule. So our first month trying for a baby {April, and not really trying yet as much as not trying} we conceived. The Lord blessed us with a baby. A few months later we would find out He actually blessed us with TWO babies.

So why do I share all of this {aside from sharing God’s sovereign plan and grace}? I want to share that yes, at 22 and 24 we planned to have a baby and eagerly look toward parenthood.

Preparing to be young parents

I know that many people think we are crazy. Just as there are many myths about getting married young, there are many myths about being young parents {i.e. we didn’t plan this, we are not happy about this addition, now we can’t have a “life”, etc.}.

People assume that our pregnancy wasn’t planned {not that there is anything wrong with that, all babies are a blessing from the Lord}. Our current culture pushes a career as the ultimate path for a woman. Staying home and being a mother is now seen as a second class option. Young wives don’t desire that life anymore. They dream of big careers and international travel, not quiet Sundays at home with her family.

Just as we were the youngest of our friends to get married, we are by far the youngest to be having a baby as well. Why? Because men are taking longer to “find themselves”. They don’t have careers that can support a family. They change majors 3 times and take 8 years to get a college degree. Women pour their time and energy into careers and figure a family will come later, their masters degrees and that next job promotion must come first. Who has time for a family?

30 seems to be the new 20 when it comes to settling down, getting married, and starting a family. The world tells us that we have plenty of time for a family and that 30 is still young, no need to rush! And in fact, if you are young, then you are doing it wrong.

Well I hope to be an inspiration to anyone else out there who is like us. We planned for our first baby {we got two for one ;)} and we are eagerly awaiting their arrival. Sure, we are nervous to be first time parents but we are also so thankful for God’s sovereign plan for us and His commitment to families.

I love to hear from other young families! Share how old you were when  you started your family 🙂

This post is part of my Natural Pregnancy & Beyond Series. Catch up on all the posts in this series:

  1. Introduction
  2. Young, In Love, and Pregnant: Our Journey To Parenthood
  3. Our Maternity Photo Shoot
  4. 7 Reasons We Are Starting a Family Young
  5. My Dream of Becoming a Stay at Home Mom: How We Made it a Reality
  6. Crowning Him in Worship: Reflections on Redeeming Childbirth
  7. 10 Steps Towards a Natural Pregnancy & Birth

Get instant free access to my Finding Joy in Your Home video course.

  • Do you want to discover more joy, peace, & tranquility within your home?
  • Do you feel overwhelmed and like your house is out of control?
  • Join my free course and learn the essential habits for Christian homemakers
  1. I’m enjoying reading your story as it reflects ours in so many ways! I was 20 when our first son was born, 21 when our second was born and my due date for this one is one month after my 25th birthday. Children are such a blessing from God…even if you are young when they arrive. 🙂

  2. I love your story, Jami! As you know from our love story we shared on your blog, we were married when I was 21 and my husband was 23. We conceived a surprise honeymoon baby, so we had our first baby when I was 22 and my husband was still 23. We are now expecting our second, so I will be 24 with a two year old and a newborn! We would not have it any other way, although it is hard when others (my husband’s family, specifically) look down at us for the choices we have made.

  3. Congrats to you! Twins! That is so exciting!!! I married at 18, hubby was 21. We were pregnant with our first 9 months later and our son was born when I was 19. Now we are expecting our 2nd blessing any day now at 21 & 24! All in God’s timing!

  4. I was 18 when we got married (he was 22). We had our first baby just over a month after my 20th birthday. #2 came ON my 22nd birthday and #3 came a few months after my 24th birthday. We celebrate 6 years of marriage next month. I love staying at home with the girls (we have 3 girls). We are far away from family, but being a military family, we knew it would happen and God’s timing isn’t ours (or our families who were disappointed our first was born in Germany). I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for the life God gave us.

    I once heard a saying “we had them young so that we could spend more time with them” 😉

    Love your blog! Praying for healthy baby boys.

  5. I love hearing your story. You are such an encouragement, Jami 🙂 I had my first son when I was 23 and my second son 4 days before my 25th birthday (just this last May). Both my husband and I are so ready for another baby already but we know we need to focus on building up his career more right now (he started his own business just this last July). Children are SUCH a blessing, and I can’t wait to welcome more into our family when God says its time 🙂

  6. I responded on Facebook but I will briefly sum it up here too. I love your post! I was 18 when I was married and we had our first son on our 1st Wedding anniversary when I was 19! Almost 8 years later and four beautiful children I couldn’t be happier. This is my calling. May God bless your whole family and thanks for sharing!

  7. I was 23 when I had my 1st child–now expecting #3…Ours was unplanned, shortly after we got married and immediately, our hearts were opened & full of love with the beginning of our family! We have left our children up to God’s timing–technically by many’s standards, we may have not been completely ready to start a family when we did but God knew better! I look back at my parent’s generation and the ages we are talking about aren’t really that young, but the norm! I think my mom had her 1st (me!) when she was about 21 and she said that many people they knew were having or already have had kids. Just shows how much our culture has changed!!

  8. This post is such an encouragement to me! I was married when I was twenty and had our first sweet baby boy a few months before I turned twenty two. What a blessing he is!!! It is neat to know I am not the only young wife and mama out there!

    I am so excited for you and your husband!! I fell even more in love with my husband (didn’t think it was possible but it is) after our baby was born just seeing him with Elijah oh wow just melts my heart! Children truly are a blessing from The Lord 🙂

  9. Married at 19/20 and although we tried for the first three years The Lord waited to bless us at 23 with our first son. Now we shock all our friends that we are under 30 with 3 here with us and 1 with Jesus. At 6,3, and 10 months they keep me busy enough;) whoever said stay at home moms don’t work have never seen a stay at home mom! I’m so glad to hear you plan to homeschool as well! That above any other ministry we have been involved in has rubbed and refined me unlike anything else.

  10. i just turned 25, and had my 3rd baby, another girl, 3 weeks ago. My husband and I got married when I was 21 and he was 20. We had our 1st baby, a son, when I was 22 and our 2nd baby, a daughter when I was 23. I really enjoy reading your blog because I feel like I can really connect with you. People think we are crazy, but we believe we are just following God’s will for our lives; getting married young and having kids young isn’t a mistake!!! I look forward to reading more posts about your journey to parenthood!!

  11. Having read some of the answers I feel really old 🙂 I had my first baby eleven days after my 26th birthday. Which is quite young by today’s standards. We describe our first pregnancy as planned by God but not by us! We always wanted a big family so once we had one we kept going and now I am 34 and had baby number 5 four months ago.

    The photos are really lovely. You are blooming!

  12. Congratulations on your double bundles of joy!

    I’m 26 and currently pregnant with my first. My husband and I started trying when I was 24, it took awhile to get pregnant and then I lost two babies. I was married at 21 and my husband at 23 and I would’ve loved to have children quickly, but God’s leading allowed several years. People say how young I am, even at church! I think there are pro’s and con’s on both sides, but I always knew I’d be married young and have children young. I am so thankful to even be expecting this one, I didn’t think I could have children, so I am so very, very grateful even if it’s later than I would have *planned*!

    Blessings, sister!

    • Thanks!! We can’t wait to meet our boys 🙂 I am so sorry for your loses. It can be so hard waiting on God’s timing and plan sometimes 🙁 But congrats on your first!! How exciting 🙂

  13. We married at 19 and 20 and 10 months later had our first. I am now 25 and am sitting here holding my 10 day old–this is #3. 🙂 I enjoy them and do not regret starting as young as we did.

  14. Ah, your post brought back memories – I was you almost 15 years ago! My husband and I were fortunate to find each other early in life and I became an extremely young bride at 19 (he was 21, so a bit older). While we knew that we were meant to be married early, it came as a surprise that, literally within a month of the wedding, we felt the desire to start a family. That wasn’t supposed to be a part of the “plan”. But God knew what he was doing (as He always does) and our first child was born two months after our first anniversary. Over our going-on 15 years of marriage, God has since blessed us with six amazing, incredible little ones and I’m so privileged to have the care and keeping of them. (Double) Congratulations and enjoy this very special time in your life, as it is fleeting!

    • How wonderful to meet another young couple 🙂 I was also 19 and my hubby 21 when we got married 😀 Oh how wonderful that God gave you that desire so early on! Thanks for stopping by and sharing Melissa! 🙂

  15. I’m super happy for you two, Jamie Leigh. Although my husband and I didn’t meet or marry exceptionally young (24) we always encourage our friends and the youth in our youth group into courtship type practices and early marriage. Sometimes we daydream about what it might have looked like to have married much earlier. Enjoy your growing tummy, twins, and of course your sweet husband.

  16. Congratulations! Twins are a huge blessing – I have 6 year old twin girls, but it seems like they were born yesterday! My twins are numbers 3 and 4 out of 5. If you have any twin questions, please feel free to email me!

  17. I had my first at 21 (my husband was 24). We were not planning it but to be honest my son is the best thing that ever happened to me. I have always wanted to be a mom and a homemaker, but have been made to feel my dreams are inadequate by today’s society. It’s like, how could I be satisfied with just that? But I am, I am trying not to care what others think. Your post really speaks to me. You do not know how often I hear ” oh you are so young you are a baby with a baby “. Thanks for showing me there are other people out there like me.

    • How wonderful that the Lord knows what is best for us even when we don’t 🙂 I have been on the same journey. It was hard for me when we first got married. We were in college and I was working o my degree so EVERYONE always asked what I wanted to do. Being a stay at home wife and mother always seemed like an inadequate response. But the Lord has made me much more comfortable with this and know I am proud to say that I am a stay at home wife eagerly waiting the birth of my babies :)I always love meeting other young wives and moms!!

  18. Hi, I came over from modest mom & am so glad I did! I’m also a young wife/mom. I got married at 18, had a baby at 19, and we are now expecting our second (I’m 22 now). Your story is quite similar to mine, in fact I just wrote about young marriage today! Congrats on twins! I have twin brother and sister and I know what a special bond twins have.

    • I am so glad that you stopped by Miranda! Wow, not many people have two babies by 22! I will as well since we are having twins 😉 I am going to check out your post on young marriage. I ALWAYS love finding other young marrieds 🙂

  19. We got married when I was 21 and my husband was 23. Neither of us were waiting to be older, we just hadn’t found each other yet. We were married in December 2010, and five months later I was baby crazy. We were both in school and working part-time. Yet we got pregnant in August, I graduated in December, and we had our son Jaxton the following April. My husband’s in school full-time and working full-time but it was a priority for both of us from me to stay home with our son. It couldn’t be any better 🙂

    • 21 and 23 is still really young 🙂 Many people don’t get married until much later these days!! My husband did a year of full time work and full time school as well. We didn’t have a baby yet, but it was so busy! Thankfully it was only for a season and God was so good to us and got us through it! How wonderful that you both have that commitment! 🙂

  20. Jami, I love your story (and your new maternity photos!). My husband and I married at 21 and 22, but we are trying to wait to start our family because I have a lot of debt I need to work off first. God steered me down the path of pharmacy school, and I know that it will continue to be a blessing to my family for me to be able to work part time or even every other weekend or so, but in order for me to even stay home with my children part time, we need to wait a little while 🙁 The Lord has laid the desire for motherhood deep on my heart though, and I am so excited for that part of our lives to begin, though it will be 2 or 3 years down the road (we are 23 and almost-24 now).
    I’m so happy for you guys that God’s timing has been miraculous and you are starting your family off with a running start with twins! :p I am encouraged and inspired by your blog. -Shannon

    • Thanks Shannon! 🙂 We waited 3 1/2 years and I felt like that was a long time but it was God’s plan and we are so blessed by it!! 🙂 God’s timing is always right…who are we to question it right??

  21. We got married at 19, just before my 20th birthday I had my first daughter, now at 24 we are planning/praying for number 4. People think we are crazy, and I get strange looks in the grocery store, but I feel so blessed, and wouldn’t change it for anything.

  22. I was 19 and my husband was 20 when we started our family. We married at 17 and 19, had our first daughter at 19 and 20, our second at 20 and 22, and our son at 22 and 23. We wouldn’t have it any other way, and want to add more!! God has blessed us far beyond what we could have ever imagined. Although we do get a lot of criticism from people who don’t know us, the people who do matter think it’s awesome 🙂 And we are planning to home school as well!

  23. This is nice to see. We were young when we got married (18) and young parents by choice and with solid plan. It’s lovely to find others with similar stories, as young people with established lives seem to be quite rare. So many people think we are all naive nut jobs, but what matters is that we followed our hearts, and our path, and are steadily putting years of spectacular marriage behind us.

    Many blessings to you and your family

  24. I am 23 years and eagerly awaiting our third blessing any day now! My husband and I were married at 19 and 20 years of age and we had our first baby just before our first anniversary. We have never regretted having children so soon. It really grows you and binds you as a couple together stronger! Good post! I will be following…

  25. i just found your AMAZING blog on pinterest and i love it! I can 100% relate. I got married to my husband at an early age. I was 18 and he was 21. It definitely hasnt beene easy, but I love every minute of it. And now that i am 21 and he is almost 25, we have decided to start trying for a baby. We also are Christians and are doing the best we can to follow Gods will for our lives.

  26. I am 31 and I started my family at 27. My mother raised me to become financially independent and I teach in a small college since I leaved the big city and came to live in a little town by the sea, at the age of 24. I find it difficult to have my first child, because, yes, it was not really in my «career» plan. Now, I am more balanced between my job and my family, I hope to have more children now and would be ready to be a stay at home mom. At 22 I didn’t have your maturity. I was confused with my personality and I was trying different things. Now, I traveled a lot, I published books, I did so much… I am ready to have the biggest family possible. I envy people like you who seems so sure of what they want and so convinced of their values. Joy to you young family!

  27. I am in love with your website!!! I just found it yesterday and have already found so many helpful and encouraging articles! My husband and I (ages 22 and 20 at the time) just got married December 2013 and we’re expecting! Our first baby is due December of this year! I am now 21 and my husband is 23. I’d love to say that our little one was planned but that’s not the case. We had originally hoped to wait a year before trying for a baby. It was a wonderful surprise to find out we were expecting though and we couldn’t be happier!!! God has blessed us so much and I can’t wait to start teaching our little one about HIM!

  28. Thank you so much! My husband and I are talking about having our first soon and everything I read tells you to wait and for this or that; we can’t figure out what we’re “supposed” to be waiting for. We will be married a year in April and are still young (23 and 25) and it’s SO great to hear this from a young mom. So many people say we’ll regret having kids at this age and that we “have our whole life” for kids. We both want a family and know that God put this dream in our hearts.
    Thank you SO much for this post.

  29. This was such a sweet post! I have to say, I am thankful that 30 is the new 20 in my case, because I didn’t meet my husband until I was almost 30. (I’m 31 now, and we are going to get on the baby bandwagon soon, hopefully!) I’m thankful for the things I accomplished in my 20’s, but I would have loved an extra decade with my husband and a family instead. But I don’t think there’s any wrong way to go as long as it’s what works for us and is in His timing.


  30. To each their own, of course, but there is no real need to have a baby young. If 23 is a good age, why not 18? Or 16? I am of the view that it is good for young people to save money, establish a career, learn about themselves, and do things they would not be able to do once a family comes, like living with roommates in an expensive city, traveling the world or starting a business.

    • Are you seriously comparing a 23 year old woman who has been married for four years, has a bachelors degree, and a stable family having baby to a SIXTEEN year old having a baby? I’m sorry but that is beyond ridiculous. Of course not everyone is called to start their family so young. But to each their own. I have a beautiful family and get to spend my days playing at the park and cuddling up on Friday nights watching movies and eating popcorn. I am very happy with our decisions and am VERY thankful for the family God has given us. 🙂