By Erica, Contributing Writer
Older women are Biblically assigned to special tasks to help younger women love their husbands, their children, and keep their home. But where have the older women gone? Young women are struggling to find any woman willing to be generously available as an invested and influential friend and guide.
Why are there so many vacancies? I am not discounting mothers, aunts, sisters, or other women in your life that have been a blessing to you in your wifedom and mamahood, I am talking about the problem in general.
I read a popular magazine article this month about women seeking mentors in the workplace and struggling to find older women to help them advance in their career. They were desiring to find someone to advise them on what choices they should make in order to be successful. Most were coming up with few leads.
The common reasons in the article for an older woman not to mentor was:
- Older women they knew in the workplace were unapproachable.
- Some women feared the other woman learning from her and becoming more successful than her.
- Countless women had no personal time to give to help someone else.
- Others had made a commitment to mentor and were not able to fulfill it and felt guilty or resentful.
We can safely assume these might be some of the reasons why older Christian women may not take on the responsibility of helping younger women even if the Bible says they should.
Another simple reason is that young women are utilizing the 24/7 access to the internet for their needs in marriage and parental advice. The internet is a great tool but it should not be a substitute for one-on-one relationships between older and younger ladies.
The reason younger women need older women is because they are inexperienced and insecure.
A young woman can have experience doing household tasks, managing her own money, even purchasing her own car and home prior to marriage, but there is something about putting two newlyweds together that exposes the reality that usually your experience is not enough.
Think of how many firsts young couples go through in their first years of marriage. Add child-bearing in there and her eyes are a little more open to life! Then as marriage progresses sometimes the difficulties arise.
Women need to feel secure. Throw a woman into a bunch of unknown circumstances of faith, attempting peace in marriage, and add hormones and a crying baby or toddler into the mix and it can make even the holiest of saints feel like cursing.
Young women need to know how, and when, and where, and “is this normal?” and “can we get through this?” and “should I take my baby to the doctor or wait it out?”
Dear Older Women Who May Not Reach Out,
Do you have any memories of needing advice or a listening ear when you were younger? Have you ever felt lonely for another woman to understand and give you her story? I may never know your life’s circumstances, time constraints, your health, or your reasons not to want to be a blessing to a younger woman, but I do know that God wants you to do it.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5
God wants women to help each other because He wants to protect His Word from being blasphemed (lightly esteemed or thought evil of).
Women you know have heartaches, questions about practical living, or a spiritual struggles. They need you to walk up beside them, wrap your arm around them, give them a word of encouragement and pray with them for weeks… months… and maybe even years.
If you will demonstrate your faith and invest your time in them with grace, God will benefit! God becomes glorified as young women become experienced and more secure in their God-given duties of being holy, loving their husbands, children, and all of the things listed in Titus 2:3-5.
As God is glorified the truth of His Word becomes validated into the hearts of doubters and unbelievers. What a wonderful ministry!
If God puts struggling women on your heart, please, please, go find them and help them! Please, do not leave it up to someone else. Be careful not to butt in or douse cold water on their life with horrible tales of marriage, childbirth, or anything in between. Just share the blessings and experiences God has helped you with.
If you can, put aside a few tasks to make time to call them or have someone over for a meal or project. Say a kind word, write a note or e-mail. Don’t make it harder than it has to be, just simply obey the instructions God has given you, and both parties will be blessed.
You can make a difference being a generously available invested and influential friend and guide. Using your time on earth can make a difference for eternity!