Over the past several years I’ve wrestled with what a homemaker really is. What does it meant to “keep my home?” How do I decide day in and day out what I should be spending my time on? Where do I turn when I feel overwhelmed by it all??
Getting to the roots of what a homemaker is (and really understanding what that means) has time and again given me encouragement. It has freed me up to focus on what is important in life and let go of those insecurities that plague us all.
What Does it Mean to be a Homemaker?
My focus here on my blog is Gospel-Centered Homemaking, and so over time, I’ve received a lot of comments from women who feel like they don’t fit in this “homemaker” box. I hear comments from wives who work full time and express that they can’t wait until they stay home full time so they can finally be homemakers. Single women email me and share that “one day” they hope to be homemakers. And I have discussion after discussion with busy, stressed, overwhelmed moms that they just wish they could be “better” homemakers.
I want to challenge you to think outside the box a little when it comes to being a homemaker.
[Tweet “I don’t think that a homemaker is something you become, but rather, something that you are. “]
You are a homemaker by definition. You are a homemaker if you are a woman. Whether or not you have kids. Whether or not you work outside the home. Whether or not you are married. You are a homemaker because God has designed your role to be a keeper of your home.
“And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive, that the word of God may not be reviled.” ~ Titus 2:4-5
Managing a home, or helping your parents manage a home, is about so much more than dusting and dishes.
[Tweet “Keeping a home takes motivation, direction, and a vision of what you want for your home.”]
Keeping a home means transforming four walls into a place of rest from this world. It means creating a haven for your family to slow down and focus on Christ.
[Tweet “Creating a Gospel-Centered Home means crafting an atmosphere of Christ-likeness.”]
You Don’t Have to be a Mom/Wife to Be a Homemaker
The beautiful thing about being a homemaker is that God gave us the tools that we need to fill our role – even if we work full time outside the home or are not married yet. God has made women naturally caring, nurturing, intelligent, and able to balance a million things at once. God has given us the provision in Titus 2 to look after other women, mentor them, and learn how to grow together.
I want to challenge you to think differently about homemaking. Throw out this old idea that being a homemaker is only about cleaning and embrace the idea that homemaking is about glorifying God in your home, every single day. When I refer to a homemaker, I am simply referring to a woman who spends even a tiny bit of her day making her home atmosphere just a little more Christ-Centered.
Embrace the idea that while there are some good practices for homemaking, the way that each of us runs our home is going to be different. Some of us may focus on cleaning more, or cooking, or perhaps you are in a season where you work full time outside the home or spend all of your time homeschooling six kids. In each and every new season, you are a homemaker, it might just look different from year to year.
Realizing that there is no one right way to be a homemaker is freeing to me. It gives me encouragement to know that I don’t have to look just like my friends. I don’t have to be the perfect housekeeper or make gourmet meals to be within God’s Plan.
Knowing How to Be a “Good” Homemaker
So now that we’ve established who is a homemaker, how do we know what a “good” homemaker does? I’ve always found the Proverbs 31 woman to be very encouraging, but does that mean we have to work from sun-up to sun-down buying fields and sewing our own clothing?
Do you have to love cooking to be a good homemaker? Does your house have to be spotless and totally organized to be a good homemaker? Maybe you hate crafts and sewing will never be a hobby of yours. Does this somehow make you “less” of a homemaker?
No, because for the most part these little things don’t matter. In the light of eternity, does it really matter if you know how to sew an apron? No.
And yet – practical homemaking skills can be important. But it’s not so much about the mundane chores of the day or adopting a hobby. It’s about the atmosphere in your home. If your house is knee deep in clutter, is your family able to focus on Christ? Are you able to serve and extend hospitality?
If your family is malnourished, lacks energy, has trouble sleeping, and suffers from sickness due to poor nutrition, is this glorifying to God? If you are so stressed out, frazzled, and completely overwhelmed with the state of your house and responsibilities that you are not loving to your children and husband, is that glorifying to God?
So what does it take to be a “good” homemaker? Focusing each day intentionally on God.
Choosing your priorities within the home that are Christ-Centered and will draw your family closer to God instead of pushing them away from Him.
Learning How to Be a More Efficient & Effective Homemaker
Knowing what you need to do to become a more effective homemaker, really depends on you, your personality, and your family.
Let things go. If you are really uptight when it comes to your homemaking, you might need to loosen up a bit and let things go. Maybe you need to leave the sink full of dishes and go outside and play with your kids or spend the evening with your husband. Maybe your schedule needs some more flexible elements to it and some days need to be focused less on your house and more on the relationships in your life.
Become more disciplined. Instead, if you are totally overwhelmed and feel like your whole house is falling apart, then maybe you do need to focus a little more attention on your house. Maybe you need to spend some time investing in your homemaking skills. If you feel lost on how to keep your house clean, or cook more nutritious meals, then it might be time to invest a little time and energy into learning some of these skills better.
Learn From Other Women. God knew that women need to be in relationship with one another when He inspired Titus 2. We can’t learn this all on our own. If we keep plugging away each day, feeling completely overwhelmed and lost, we won’t just wake up one morning and know how to juggle it all.
God designed us to be in relationship together. Learning and growing together to create an atmosphere within our homes that glorifies God.
Investing In Your Homemaking
I am in a busy busy season right now. I have four kids three years old and younger and some days are just really really tough. I don’t have hours everyday to make gourmet meals, at the end of the day my house is often far messier than I would like, and I don’t have a lot of time leftover to invest in myself.
And yet, I know how important it is so focus on my home and investing in my own health. Some of my goals for right now: keep up on the home as much as possible with babies and toddlers, read my Bible every day and pray, exercise a few times a week, and continue working on the habit of getting up before my kids in the morning to have some quiet time to myself.
Throughout all of this, I’ve been recognizing the importance of investing in my homemaking. In learning from other women. In living in community and seeing how other real women run and manage their homes.
And that’s why I’m so excited to introduce you to our brand new online training academy for Christian women: My Homemaking Mentor.
The academy contains 10 full courses on homemaking (with 5 more courses being released August-September)! The courses have all already been so encouraging in my own life and I would love for you to come along on the journey!
If you want to invest in your homemaking too, then here’s your chance!
Here’s a quick introduction to the academy: