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Should Getting Married Before 25 Be Illegal?

on April 25, 2014 by Jami Balmet 196 comments

A recent article in the Huffington Post tried to make the argument that getting married before 25 should be illegal.

should getting married before 25 be illegal?

Note: This post was originally published in June 2012. I thought it was time to get this out of the archives to help squash the young marriage myths! Jennifer’s argument revolved around her own personal experiences. She met her husband at 19, was married at 24 and was divorced by the time she was 29. She begins by saying, “Age is just a number… except when it comes to marriage.” She says that “I was enjoying the freedom of drinking and partying legally for the first time  (I live in Canada where the drinking age is 19).” She didn’t know who she was or what she wanted in life and ultimately this is why her marriage ended. I read articles like this and my first reaction is anger. Don’t they understand? But then I realize, no, they don’t understand. And then I feel sad for people who criticize young marriage like this because they didn’t get to experience the wonder and blessings that I have. 

I see why, to the world, young marriage seems a bizarre and immature thing. For the writer, she was busy drinking and partying at 19. What was I doing at 19? Not partying, and not drinking. I was finishing up my first year at a Christian university while my husband to be was finishing his junior year. I was planning my wedding and preparing for the future. I was learning and studying God’s word as to what it means to be a Godly wife. I was married when I was barely 19 and my hubby 21. The writer states, “I had yet to figure out who I was or what I wanted in my life. I was naïve and impressionable…” The writer looks back when she was 19 and feels that she had no idea who she was. She was partying but really didn’t know what she wanted with her life. I have heard this argument before and I think it is simply a cover up for selfishness. You don’t know what you want with your life? You don’t know who you are? Well, at 19 I knew a lot about myself. I knew that I was a daughter of the King. I was a Christ follower and that was the most important thing in my life. I knew God was calling me to be a Godly wife and hopefully future mother. I knew the Lord was calling me to serve my family and that He was calling my husband to provide and lead our family.

Did my husband know exactly what career path or employer he would eventually work for? No. Do we each have some interests that we didn’t have three years ago? Of course. But what is all this nonsense of not knowing who we are? The only important thing in our lives is that we are Christ followers. Everything else is just likes and interests. Well, why can’t we grow in those likes and interest together? I didn’t blog before we got married. It is a love that I developed after we got married. That doesn’t mean I am a different person than when I got married. I simply developed a new interest, and you know what? My husband developed that interest as well. He spends time learning what is exciting me this week. He takes the time to hear me tell him all about my blog world. He has learned to love blogging and I likewise, do the same with his new interests. Many times I wonder and think about what is wrong with our culture. Since Adam and Eve, the “norm” wasn’t to get married at 30. The “norm” was to look for a spouse in your teens. I am not advocating that we should be marrying 13 year olds. BUT it has only been the past 20-30 years of ALL of  history that we decided that 20 was too young. 20 year olds are babies now. Little more than children, they can’t possible make important life decisions.  But other places in the world today, and throughout history have considered 20 year olds adults. Why are we making a society of children adults? But I digress…

The writer of the article also shares that after the excitement of planning a wedding they settled into married life and “because we had started dating at such a young age, he [her husband] was marrying someone who had absolutely no idea who she was and what she wanted in her life. In short, it was a recipe for divorce.” Can I just ask…how is that a recipe for divorce? So you didn’t know what career you wanted to go into? I know that for my husband and I, we have grown up together! We have learned what it means to actually have a little extra money coming in! We have learned together what it means to be careless with our money and also what it means to figure out how to save money. We have learned through tears and fights what it means to work things out. We have learned together what life is like graduating from college and starting careers. And know we are learning together what it means to be parents and eagerly anticipate the arrival of our first bundle of joy. And you know what? I am 22 years old. I know my husband and I both have a lot of learning and growing to do in the years to come, but we are excited to walk that journey together. I can’t wait to see how the Lord molds my husband into an excellent father and leader of our home. Will we change over the years? Of course. God calls us to continually grow in Him and walk in Godliness.

I know many 19-year-olds who are NOT ready for marriage, but I also know selfish immature 30-year-olds who are not ready for marriage either. So in all, yes, marriage IS just a number. And I am so thankful that the Lord brought us together at such a young age. We have a strong and solid marriage and can’t wait to welcome a new addition to our family later this year. I would’t have it any other way. If the author of that article had her way, I wouldn’t be married for another 3 years. I would have missed out on 6 fabulous years with my husband, that is something that makes me very sad to think about!

You can read more posts I have done about young marriage {It’s somewhat of a passion of mine}

Should Getting Married before 25 be illegal
Photo by Marta Starbucks ♣

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  1. LOVE this! I was married at 20 and am now 38, NO REGRETS! I have now been with my husband longing then I have been with my parents, we have grown and lived through so much together. We were committed and mature Christians, how sad for our culture that it is so heart sick!


    • Thanks Angela! I always love hearing from those who have been married for a while! I can say all I want with my limited three years experience but then someone who has actually been married for a while is such a great testimony! Oh how sweet! I can’t wait to be able to say I have been with my husband longer than without him 😀

  2. Thank you for writing this Jami! I got married at 21 and while I did have some immaturity to work through and marriage wasn’t easy off the bat I believe that would have been the case no matter what age I had gotten married! I love your heart for marriage!

    • I agree! I think no matter what age you get married, you will always have selfish desires to overcome! We are all sinful and that often comes out the most in marriage. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  3. Great article Jami!!

    I was married at 19, my husband was 18 and into his second semester in college. In September, we’ll be married 12 years and I have absolutely no regrets. God’s hand has been all over our marriage and we are stronger and happier than ever.

    Age has nothing to do with it—motives might, however. This young bride admitted her own confusion and wasn’t committed to anything. Marriage is a commitment, above all else.

  4. I just became a newlywed for the first time 8 months ago – at the age of 34. I am SO thankful that I didn’t marry when I was 19. But my thankfulness comes out of knowing that my 19 year old self was not saved and was trying to live up to (or down to) what the world thought I should be. God, in His wisdom, allowed me to suffer the trials, tribulations, and triumphs as a single woman without placing me in a marriage He knew would be wrong for me. I am so thankful for my salvation and that God didn’t allow me to make the mistake the 19 year old that got divorced made. I think the big difference in her life is that she was not listening to God, and perhaps she still isn’t. At the age of 32, I began to pray that God would lead me to the man He had planned for me, and just a few short months later, I met the wonderful man who became my husband. Yes Jami, you are young, but you have a foundation that unfortunately most young people don’t have, and that’s the belief in the Almighty. I would wholeheartedly agree that young people should never marry if they are approaching marriage from a worldly point of view, because without God, everything will eventually fail. Many blessing to you and your marriage!

    • Thanks for stopping by Tess. I do not think everyone is meant to get married at a young age. I definitely think some need a lot more maturing before getting married. There is no “right” age to get married. For some 20 might be the right age, for others 34 is God’s perfect timing! And I thank Him for leading us each in our own path. But what makes me sad is when people like in this article, assume that NOTHING good can come from being married young. The author of that article just lays out a blanket statement that no one should be married before 25. When in our own life, we know that the Lord was leading us to marriage younger than that.

      And I agree, a HUGE amount of it comes from being Christians. I am so thankful that the Lord saved both of us at a young age and brought us together. Marriage would be much more difficult if we didn’t have the Lord as the anchor and center of our marriage!

      • Hi I’m Gisselle I’m from Honduras. I’m 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19. We met 15 months ago in his church in New York! I live in Honduras.. Therefore it has been a long distance relationship. I’m in my second year of college and so as he. We’ve talked about getting married. And some of our relatives and elders from his church supports us and tell us is the best thing to do. I’m still insecure about it.. My mom isn’t too open about me getting married so young and so as my sisters. We have been praying since we first thought about marriage as a possibility. If you could write me to my email i would be grateful!

  5. I wish I could give you a huge hug right now. YES!!! It’s not about age…it’s much more about maturity. And yes, at 20 and 21 I and my husband still have a lot of maturing and growing to do…but we’re doing it TOGETHER. And, like you, we’re starting with a solid foundation of having Christ at the center of our marriage. I know that’s the only reason we are able to make a marriage work at this age–or any age: Christ holds it together.

    I also know that God has a different, unique purpose for each person. Some people he calls to marry young, others later, others never at all. It’s ultimately all in his hands and plans. 🙂

    • You are so cute Jaimie! LOL! I think the key is TOGETHER. We love learning about life together! Absolutely! It is in God’s hands and His timing for each couple!

      • Yes; growing together! Our pre-marital counsellor told us that people do a lot of changing between 20 and 25 and that we needed to be aware of that so we could change and grow together instead of apart. He was very right! We are very different than we were 7 years ago! My hubby was 19 and I was 20 when we got married. We celebrate our 7th anniversary next month and we have 3 kids (kids change you too!).

  6. love it!

    My hubby and I got married when we were both 18. (We’re 22 now) and I wouldn’t trade it! I definitely don’t think every one should get married that young (as you said, some people aren’t even ready at 30!), but I think it’s right and good for some people! We, like you, have grown up together. It has been HARD. but we trust each other and have been able to work through things together and it’s been awesome! 🙂

    Just found you and following your blog 🙂 loving it so far!

    • So cute! So great to meet another young couple MY age!! 🙂 I’m 22 now and hubby is 24. Aw and cute! It looks like from your blog that you are pregnant right now? Me too!! So glad you stopped by Paula! 🙂

      • I am almost 17, and my fiancé is 21, people think we are just going to fail. But the truth is God has matured us, in a huge way we have been together for 4 years and feel as though God is going to bless us, grow us together like he has or the past 4 years. We will be having a court house wedding 7-7-2015; the enemy keeps putting chatter in my head downing us and saying if we can’t afford a real ceremony we shouldn’t be getting married. But we know we are making a huge commitment, and God is proud of us, and how we keep pushing forward with His truths! It’s not about mans laws or thoughts, but OUR GODS! We have promised to stay pure so that we may not be tempted to go anywhere God would not want. I will be 18 when we marry and he will be 23.
        We both attend Elevation church where we serve and get fed! You are such a beautiful blessing , thank you!

        • Hey Alyssa, first off, congratulations!!! I am so happy for you. My very good friend got married only 2 months ago. She had just turned 18, and her husband had just had his 23rd birthday. (Hmm… isn’t that what you and your fiance will be??) Like you, I’m sure, they constantly were (and are) questioned about their age. But you know what? They are two of the most loving and Godly people that i know. Put you hope in the Lord, and don’t look to the world for advise, but trut the Bible and ONLY Godly advise. You will do well.

  7. Great article! I was married at 22 and I’m now 29 with three little blessings! I always knew that I would marry young.

    You are definitely right that there are people of all ages that aren’t mature enough for marriage!

  8. I was 18 and my hubby was 20 when we got married, in January 1999. We were engaged our whole senior year of high school and people thought we were crazy. We had our first baby in March 2000 (when I was 19) then three more when I was 21, 25, and 28. We have also been told MANY times over that we are together too much. We started ‘dating’ by being together every waking minute and we are still together as much as humanly possible, 16 years later. We have never been at a place of ‘smothering each other’ like we were told we would. We’ve definitely grown over the last 13 years of marriage, but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the whole world. We’ve had numerous hard times but always made it through. It’s just what you do. Divorce isn’t, and never was, an option. We have irritated each other at times but loved each other too much to leave. I definitely don’t think everyone is ready to marry at 18, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Our marriage is probably the best one that I know of, at least of the people we know, and I am very thankful and proud of that. God has definitely blessed us 🙂 Great post!

    • Haha yeah I bet they thought you were crazy for being engaged in high school! We already knew we wanted to get married the next year but waited until a couple months after graduation to get engaged…I think that would have been too much for some people LOL! We are the same way! We don’t like spending an afternoon apart! We prefer to do everything together 🙂 I agree, we have a very solid marriage and even after 3 years we can’t get enough of each other!! 🙂

    • This is really encouraging to me! My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and are planning to get married (God willing in august this year 2015). Im 18 and he’s almost 20. Its SO difficult in todays day and age to share these plans with people cause we always ALWAyS get negative responses. The thing for us is, we KNOW that theres gonna be rough times and we’re going to have to push through them. But we also know that God will bless our marriage if we honor Him. And like you said, Divorce will never be an option. And the only reason that so many young marriages fail today is because the Lord isn’t at the center of their Marriage. And i trust that God will get us through any trial we may face as long as we honor Him and glorify Him through our marriage. (:

  9. I stumbled across this from Raising Arrows. I like the name of your blog and totally agree with what you posted here. I met my husband when I was 19, we were engaged when I was 20, married at 21, I became a mother at 22, again at 24, and will be again in my 25th year. There have been many ups and downs these past three and a half years, but I wouldn’t trade my time with my husband for anything. That’s what we covenanted when we were married, ‘for better or for worse’ etc, doesn’t mean till I’m bored, or till I find someone richer than you, It means forever. God brought us together at the time He ordained, not all 20 somethings are ready to commit like that… precious few are, but if you are the government should have nothing to say on the matter.

    • I’m so glad you came over! 🙂 Whew! You have had a busy few years 🙂 What a blessing!! Exactly, for better or worse. It’s a covenant for LIFE not until I’m bored and want to move on. Especially in our society today, most are definitely NOT ready at 20 to get married but I think that is a product of our society. Also that’s why I love the internet, to connect to other young wives!! 🙂

  10. Well shoot! If she had her way I wouldn’t be celebrating 4 yrs of marriage to my husband this upcoming Novemeber nor would I be expecting our third child in a month! In fact I wouldn’t be allowed to be married to my husband for another 5 years if 25 were the legal age! I know my husband and I went into marriage expecting what Hollywood shows but through Christ have had the veils lifted from our eyes and now know that marriage potrays a covenant. A beautiful covenant between Christ and the Church. I’m honored to be able to show the world what the Church looks like submitting to Christ by submitting to my husband (lets pretend I do this perfectly every day ;)).

    • I know! If I had wait until 25 then I would have lost 6 wonderful years with my husband!! No thank you! It is a beautiful covenant and such a blessing 🙂 I agree, we can be great testimonies in how we submit to our husbands (lets pretend I do this perfectly as well lol).

  11. I was 25 when I got married and I almost wish that I had been younger so I wasn’t so set in MY ways. It took some big adjustments to get used to living with someone. I had had a lot of time to just please myself. And to be honest I don’t think that time was helpful to being married. (I had parents who, although very loving and supportive, didn’t see the need to teach me the skills of being a homemaker and wife.)
    Thank you for this post. I hope all is going well with your pregnancy.

    • Yeah I think that could be really hard. Especially those who lived on their own for years and then suddenly have to live with someone else! I think it could be really difficult! But 25 is still pretty young in our society today 🙂 Thanks Amy!

  12. Hi Jami, thanks so much for sharing this! I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 21. We were married one week after I turned 18 and we just celebrated our 4th anniversary. We have two wonderful children and one on the way and, honestly, I wouldn’t give up this lifefor anything! I always knew I wanted to get married and have a family and I was very blessed that Heavenly Father placed my husband in my way at such a young age. I have had people’s jaws drop, literally, when they found out I got married at 18, immediately started having children and had yet to attend college. But I feel that my life as a wife and a homemaker is a blessed one, something that can never be replaced. It’s sad to think that there are people out there who think marriage is old fashioned and that age is what makes a difference in marriage rather than faith, devotion and maturity. I am really glad I found your article today (I found you through Far Above Rubies: Domestically Divine Tuesday) and feel a little less alone in the world. God bless you and your growing family.

    • How sweet! We just celebrated our 3rd anniversary 🙂 So you are just one year ahead of us! Yes, being a wife, homemaker, and mother is the best job I could think of! So glad you stopped by! Your blog is adorable!! 🙂

  13. Great article! 21 years ago I was 19 and that is when I got married to my very best friend. Now we have a 19 year old daughter and if she had a man come and ask for her hand it would not worry me. She like you and I have our sights set on building a marriage not finding ourselves.

  14. I’ll go with the “age is just a number” thing. It’s not in God’s plan for everyone to get married young. Not everyone has met their intended spouse at that age, so I would never want to be one of those people adding even more discontent to someone who is single and doesn’t want to be.

    However, I married at 22 and see nothing wrong with being married younger than 25. That’s ridiculous! Especially if the author married at age 24…just a few more months would have changed things for her??? You’re either willing to make your marriage work or you aren’t.

    • Absolutely! Some may not find their spouse until they are 30. The Lord has different plans for everyone 🙂 But what makes me sad is that so many in our culture (and even within the church) think that young marriage is ridiculous! When really God called us to marriage at a young age. I agree, like waiting 6 months would have done the trick and her marriage would have been save? I’m not thinking so!

  15. I love this. I was married when I was 20 and just celebrated my 21st anniversary. My husband and I have grown together over the years and I would not trade one day of our journey. What matters most is that Christ is at the center of the marriage.

    • Happy Anniversary! I always love hearing from those who got married young and have been married for so long! 🙂 I totally agree! Christ is what holds our marriage together and makes it such a sweet blessing!

  16. Hi, just wanted to chime in and say that I met my husband at 19, he was 22. We dated 3 months and got married 3 months later. On May 31 we celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. We have weathered some very hard times together and we have never ever wavered on the decision of marriage. I think as a society we have gotten to a point when most people go into marriage thinking that if it doesn’t work they can just leave. They forget that it is a commitment to the other person and God when you get married.

    • Wow! Quick engagement 🙂 Happy Anniversary! 26 years is so wonderful and what a great testimony! I agree, I think most go into marriage assuming that this is probably temporary. How sad! 🙁

  17. I got married when I was 22 and he was 26…We’ll be married 20 years in August. We’ve had some pretty hard times in our 20 years like 8 1/2 years of infertility but it all made us closer. He is the love of my life and I tell him that alot. We both didn’t like dating so when we finally met, we both wanted the same thing and we got married 7 months later. People are told these days that it’s ok to be selfish and to do and think what WE want and not to do for others. When we get married we are supposed to Love and Cherish eachother but what people actually do is Love and Cherish themselves. …Oh and by the way you are a beautiful couple.

    • Congrats on 20 years! 🙂 Infertility would be something tough to walk through. You two seem so sweet together. Yes, selfish. I think that is exactly what my generation is when we are all called by God to be SELFLESS! Thank you:)

      • Oh and we do have three children now. I always wondered why God made us wait so long to have children but now that we have them I see why He chose to make me wait…We really got to know eachother as husband and wife before we were Mommy and Daddy. I think it’s good that you are waiting a bit before having children. They are the most wonderful blessing but take up most of your time and you can’t even talk to eachother at times so enjoy the time alone that you have.

        • Yes, we are glad that we have had three years together to grow our marriage and learn what it means to make a good marriage work. We will have been married 3 1/2 years when we welcome our first bundle of joy and we are so excited!! 🙂

  18. Great article. I met my husband at church when I was 18 almost 19 and he was 25. He gave me my promise ring 6 months later and proposed to me on my 20th birthday. We were married 6 months later. In July, we will have been 18 years. There have been lots of learning along our journey but I wouldn’t change any of it. We still enjoy spending as much time together as we can. We love being together as a family with our 4 children. God has blessed us.:D

    • I got a promise ring about 6 months before he proposed haha. I keep meaning to resize it so I can wear it on my right hand! So sweet to hear that you love spending time together!! 🙂

  19. Jami, What a great post. I have a niece marrying at age 18 later this summer. This was a good read and such an encouragement. I’m going to share it. I married for the first time at 39 and for me any earlier would have been terrible. God was saving my dear husband for me and being on His timetable makes all the difference!

    • Thank you Gail 🙂 18 is very unusual in today’s culture! But if she is following the Lord’s leading then I am so happy for her! Marrying young can be a wonderful blessing!! It is definitely all in God’s timing for each person. Some are meant to get married young and some are not. All in God’s plan and timing 🙂

  20. I think you hit the issue Jami- it is this young woman’s own issues, not the fact she was married young, that caused further issues. If she was partying, etc., then there’s the problem. And just because you grow is not an excuse for divorce.

    • Exactly, I’m still not sure what “finding herself” had to do with getting a divorce. People grow and change over the years but that’s no reason for divorce! You grow and change WITH your spouse. I feel bad for her really 🙁

  21. That’s just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. My husband and I were BOTH 19 when we married! I shudder to think what I would be like if it weren’t for him. Marriage has made me such a better person. We’re celebrating our 8th anniversary soon. I remember very distinctly several people trying to talk us out of young marriage. One lady said, “Don’t you want to have your own apartment and pick out your own furniture? Don’t you want to date a lot of guys?” I remember thinking sarcastically, “Hmm, that’s a tough one. A new couch, or getting to sleep with the hottest, nicest, best man I’ve ever met every night? Such a tough choice!”

    • I know right?? Some of the things people said to us was ridiculous!! Like you can’t pick out a couch you BOTH like?? lol! My couch doesn’t need to be pink! So nice to meet another 19 year old bride 🙂 I am definitely a better person because of our marriage 🙂

  22. SO sweet….I agree with you whole heartedly. We were 21 when we were engaged and 22 when we married. 10 years and 3 children later, our love is stronger than it ever was. We were not partying, but planning for this life!!!! So many children aren’t able to be children anymore…so it seems grown ups want a childhood in their 20s. Thanks for this great post my friend! Thanks for linking it up- it caught my eye! Much love to you, Janelle

  23. LOVE this post, I really do! I was married at 21, and we are still together 8 years later. I am saddened that this has become such a popular excuse (and I mean *excuse*) to get divorced- it is a bad seed to place in the minds of couples. Too many couples go through trials and throw their hands up in the air and say, “Too young!” instead of putting forth effort to try a little harder.

    • So glad to hear others who got married young and are still going strong! 🙂 Yes, divorce is a first resort now rather than a last drastic resort. Very sad 🙁

  24. I am a former LDS member (and current agnostic) married to a Buddhist in a non traditional marriage. We’ve been married for almost 10 years and we married at 23. The Abrahamic God doesn’t have much to do with our marriage yet it’s still going strong and we are absolutely commited to our marriage and our family. I think that commitment, love AND friendship are the keys to a successful marriage. It’s important that both parties actually mean the vows they say when they marry. That both know that the marriage is more important than the wedding. It’s imperative that both believe that family is more important than money/career/social life. It’s also imperative that your lives are one rather than 2 separate lives lived parallel to each other.

    • Thanks for sharing your perspective! I know friendship is definitely a key to our success too! He is my best friend and we love doing things together! And yes, commitment has a LOT to do with it. You HAVE to have a commitment to being committed to your marriage. Definitely more important than money or career! Thanks for stopping by Melanie 🙂

  25. I too was married at 19 and now at 36 and having been married 17 years I can look back and see the ups and downs of it. There are things I wanted to do with my life, but never did because I was married and felt I didn’t have the right to want or do anymore. I’m not talking about partying and drinking, I was never into that. I’m talking about finishing my degree and doing some travelling. Once I was married I was told I am to stay home, have children and keep my home. I am no longer to dream, that my life was over. I’ve lived this lie for a long time. I no longer have a desire to finish my degree as I have no desire to use it. I do still want to travel and expressed this to my husband, who said he never knew. This could have destroyed what we had a long time ago, but my grandmother who is a very godly woman raised me to be loyal and committed. She told me that sticking it out is worth it in the end. I have stuck it out for 17 years. It has be very hard at times, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t. There are times I felt like walking away, but my grandmothers wisdom, my faith in God, and my love for my children and ultimately my love for my husband kept me going. Some will have smoother paths, some will say they have never felt the way I have, some will say I lack in faith and am selfish. I have my moments, but that is all they are moments and I dust myself off and keep walking the path I CHOSE with God’s grace. I will say one last thing, my life alone would have been shallow and painful with out the love of my husband to walk with me through it.

    • Hi Samantha, thanks for stopping by! That is something I have thought about too. I have always wanted to travel to France, Italy, the middle east. It’s a dream of mine but one I do not think will ever be fulfilled. Could I have graduated college and decided to travel for a couple of years? Maybe (though I’m still not sure where the money would have come from). But instead, I have already had three wonderful years with my husband. I get to spend every day with my best friend. This is something I wouldn’t trade for anything. You can’t have everything in life of course, so I would much rather spend my days at home with my best friend than traveling by myself. Thank you for being transparent and sharing your experience with us!

  26. My hubby and I got married while we were both 18 (him–a week after his birthday!). A lot of people were shocked or hesitant but we were 100% confident about coming into marriage because our relationship was 1) solidly built on Christ 2) because we took our courtship seriously and focused on not just on the feelings but what we believed on many different levels and eliminating a lot of conflict and #3) because we had good, biblical expectations for the reality of what marriage is like and its purpose. We’ve done our fair share of growing up together and there have been hard things but I would never trade our experience and by God’s grace, I don’t doubt that the future will continue to be sweeter. We’re coming up on 2 years in a couple months! It’s encouraging to hear a good word for young marriage. I agree–what makes a successful marriage is not age but maturity and commitment to Christ.

    • Wow! Even younger than we were 🙂 I think that’s the key isn’t it? A solid foundation built on Christ! Getting married at 18, 25, or 40 is going to be a LOT harder without Christ as the foundation. Congrats on 2 years! We just celebrated 3 years in May 🙂 I love meeting other young couples, thanks for stopping by!!

  27. Great post! I was married 2 weeks before my 22nd birthday, my husband was already 22. We have been married 6 years now, together for 9. But we have known each other since we were both ages 10 or 11, so we sort of grew up together. I think we probably would have been married even younger, but neither of us had a job so we waited till one of us graduated first (which happened to be me) and then we got married 2 weeks after. Lived on just my income for 2 years, but it was great. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We are also adding a new addition to our family this year, a little girl! 🙂 I honestly can’t imagine my life without being married when I did. There have definitely been ups and downs, but we are best friends and I feel we have strong marriage. Age has nothing to do with it, like you stated. It is the maturity level and I also believe the Lord has a lot to do with it!

    • How sweet that you grew up together! I often wish I had been around for important things in my hubby’s younger life such as his highschool graduation (I met him literally a week after he graduated lol). Congrats on your baby girl!! We are also expecting our first 🙂 Don’t know if it’s a girl or boy yet…can’t wait to find out!! 🙂

  28. I was 20 (my husband is 12 years older than me) and now in my 40’s and still married. Had some ups and downs but making it through as with most marriages. I think people walk out of marriage when it too hard because they don’t want to put in the effort or hard work that it takes. Basically they are lazy and give up. Beautiful blog:)


    • So great to see your marriage has lasted so long! I love hearing stories like that. I agree, I think most people get lazy and don’t want to put in the effort. They want the easy flirt feelings from when they were first dating and don’t want to work through tougher spots.

  29. I am so glad to have found this blog! My husband and I were married at the ripe old age of 19:) We have now been married for 11 years, and I couldn’t be happier with the choice that I made with the Lord’s direction. It has not always been easy there have been hard times physically, spiritually, and financially over the years. As I look back I realize that there is no one else that I would rather walk through this crazy life with. I love my husband more with every passing year, and I am thankful that the Lord put us together. So take it from someone who is living his out the Lord can put two people together at a very young age, and produce a very happy healthy marriage:)

    • I am so glad that you stopped by Jessica! 🙂 That is how we feel. Was it financially easy to get married at 19 and while in college for us? Nope but it was great to walk through that with my best friend by my side! I wouldn’t have it any other way!! 🙂 I am so happy to see that your marriage is going strong 11 years later! Thanks for the encouragement!

  30. It has nothing to do with age! It has everything to do with identity and priorities. I was 19 when I married my 22 year old husband and we have been married for 20 years. We have 5 children and a wonderful life. My husband always jokes that he waited too long to marry me. We grew up together. This woman’s perspective is unfortunately the typical unsaved, find yourself/evolve philosophy that this world pumps out.

    • I very much agree!! That was almost the same as us 🙂 I was 19 and he was 21 when we got married. Wow, what a great testimony! Congrats on 20 years, how wonderful!

  31. My hubby and I were married when I was 19 and he was 25. We didn’t date until I was 18 and he was 24; both families knew about this and approved. I, personally, prayed to God for the man He wanted me to marry and only that one…even if it meant I was 30 or whatever age til I dated someone. We have been married since 1999 and will be celebrating anniversary #13 this fall. I think our marriage has been pretty wonderful, because we listen to each other and talk about everything. As well, we have 2 kids, one child who was born with a lot of lifelong medical issues, had our own financial issues, family issues, hubby’s in the military and 3 deployments just to name a few of the things that have made us grow and change, but together. 🙂 And I truly believe it was God that put us together, and has kept us together in love. No other way possible.

    • How wonderful that after 13 years you still talk about everything! I pray that we are that way too in 10 years 🙂 It seems that sometimes we are the closest during times of difficulty. The Lord is good 🙂 Thanks for stopping by Sonja!

  32. I am hopping over from Weekend Whatever. When i saw the title of this post I knew I had to read it. I read the same article you are commenting on and found it sad as well. To be sure, I married when I was 34 (hubs was 32). However, I wish we would have met when we were younger. I think the mindset of the women who wrote the article really speaks for the attitude of this generation. Kids mature much later in life – because they are given too much freedom and too little boundaries when they are younger. They have no responsibilities and have no concept of what it means to be responsible until much later in life. Not to mention the obvious selfishness that we are saturated in (which was also strongly evident in the article — and which leads many couples to divorce so soon). Marrying at 19, 29, or 39 doesn’t make any difference if at the core of our being we are selfish, throw-away people. Thank you for writing what you did. It was excellent. – A Little R & R http://jukiczr.blogspot.com

    • I completely agree. Even in college and when I was graduating, all the 22 year old adults around me acted like kids still. And you know what? They were expected to act like kids still from professors, parents, and others around us. Our culture is promoting a very selfish and childish 20 something culture. Thank you so much for stopping by!

  33. I was married at 18 to my hubby who had just turned 20 days before.

    Later this week will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary. He is a God fearing man. He is my rock. He is my best friend.

    Times have been hard for us, but I have absolutely no regrets and love this man with all my heart.

    • Congrats on 24 years! 🙂 How wonderful!! So sweet to see your love and marriage going strong after so many years. I pray the Lord helps us to be like that still in 21 years 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!!

      • If I could give you any advice, it would be this. Always, always remember that you made a commitment to God when you married. When times get tough (and they will), don’t flee, lean on that promise to God. More than anything, marriage is a vow to the God who will NEVER forsake you.

        Congratulations! 🙂

  34. I met my husband on the school bus when I was 15. I got married at 18, two weeks after graduating highschool. My husband had just turned 20 four days before. And tomorrow is our first anniversary.
    We get a lot of grief about being young, and a lot of people telling me I will regret it when I get divorced in 5 years. I know that it is not what they say about my life, but what Chirst has lead me to be. And with Him at the center of our marriage, it will not fail. This is his plan. But sometimes it is just hard to hear the lies of Satan through the mouths of my peers or even family and friends.
    My husband is also Airborne Infantry in the Army, which is a hard life on marriages. And a hard lifestyle on Chirstians. He deployed in March and although it has been hard, it has also strengthed our marriage and our faith, both as a couple and individually. I can’t wait for the day that we are celebrating our 65th anniversary, and everyone will see the glory of Christ through our marriage. The marriage that started at 18 years old.
    I look forward to following your blog, it is always so nice to know there are others out there! May God bless and guide you with all you do! Love it 🙂

    • Haha how cute, you met on the school bus! 🙂 Congrats on your first anniversary. That’s exactly how I feel! Even after 3 years we can be a good testimony that marriages do work with Christ as the foundation and after 65 years they will really see it!! 🙂

  35. Met my man at 19, married at 21, and just celebrated 28 years of marriage! There have certainly been ups and downs during those 28 years, but it has always been our commitment to Christ and His grace, active in our lives, that got us through the tougher moments, NOT our age or even our maturity! And some of those difficult times came later in life when we were dealing with a chronic illness that had not yet been diagnosed… Parkinson’s. So just being older doesn’t mean you’re home free… one must work on their marriage at ALL stages of life by working on their relationship with Christ. Marriage is about choosing to serve another person, not what you can “get out of it” as I suspect Jennifer was hoping would happen.

    • What a sweet story! Congrats on 28 years 🙂 I agree, no matter what age or stage of life, marriage is always going to take work and commitment. Some people just don’t want to work hard at that commitment.

  36. Jami Leigh,

    My husband and I are in the midst of out 25th year of marriage. We married 2 weeks before my 19th birthday. I know many of our friends and family members did not expect it to last… of course they thought we were just too young. (There were also those who thought we must be marrying so young because I was surely pregnant….. I was not!) What ‘s the secret? We both were focused on a Christian foundation and “quitting” was never an option. God brought us together at a young age and we both knew that we intended to grow old together (we still do!) Of course there have been tough times…. money issues, moving for jobs, sickness…….. all of the things that life can throw at you, but as long as you always keep Christ as the center of your marriage, He will guide and direct you all the way. We also shared many of the “growing” experiences you describe in your blog and the wisdom we gained through those experiences is priceless. We have so much we can share and teach our girls about marriage. We now have two beautiful daughters our oldest is 16 and our youngest is 12. I cherish those early years that we were able to enjoy being a young married couple. It was a true blessing that many couples miss. I enjoyed “stumbling” across your blog….. keep up the great work!

    • Congrats on 25 years 🙂 Yes, I had people I went to high school with and didn’t know very well ask if I was pregnant. We were not. Christ as the center of our marriage, I think that is the key! Thanks for stopping by Lorie!

  37. I agree with you. An age is just a number; some are ready for marriage younger than others, and the author of that article is just making excuses for why she wasn’t willing to work harder on her marriage. My husband and I were older than you when we got married, but we were also both just finishing off university. I knew I wanted to be a wife and mom and a writer, but none of that has looked exactly the way we planned. He’s been through several career choices since we met and got married. But as you say, we’ve done it together. We’ve developed new interests, dropped old interests, done things together, and weathered the tough time. And yes, it has been tough. But we made vows to stick together, and we stand by those vows. 🙂

    • Thanks Bonnie! I agree, I don’t think the author’s age had as much to do with as her lack of wanting to work hard to make the marriage work. That’s great to hear that you have developed as a couple together 🙂

  38. If it makes sense, I was more mature at 19 than when I got married to my first husband at 24. It wasn’t age that tore us apart, but immaturity. We didn’t have the same ideas about marriage and I guess we should have figured that out before we got married.

  39. some people get married young, some people are older. i’m not sure why it matters that much, really. i was a very mature woman at 18, 19, etc. and still am today however, i did not marry until my late 20s. it is possible to be mature, but just not ready to be married just as it is possible to be married and not yet ready to have (or ever have) children.

    statistically the age of first marriage in the US has increased in recent decades. i believe for women in the US it is 26 or 27 and 30 for men. because many more people go to college and complete post-graduate studies, this has in a way “pushed back” the age in life when people want or are able financially to marry. getting marred after age 25 significantly increases your chances of staying married (not divorcing). In all fairness, the human brain and specifically the frontal lobe which controls executive functioning is not finished growing until age 25, so i don’t think it’s all that bad to push those major life decisions back a bit. if you’ve met the right person, want to marry, and have the means to do so then that is fine, but for many people in society today, older marriage works well.

    • I agree Jen. I don’t think it should matter that much. Some are ready for marriage at 22 and some at 32. My problem is that many people (especially those who got married older) look down on those who got married young. We can get treated like our marriage isn’t real or we are making a horrible mistake.

      And I have to disagree with you a little bit 🙂 Yes, more people are going to college and doing post grad work. But many are also delaying growing up. Have you been on a college campus lately? Many 22 year olds graduating now have never worked a day in their life. They majored in something because it sounded fun. They don’t really want to get a full time job because it sounds like a lot of work. And professors and parents are reinforcing this in their children letting them be “kids” a little longer. This is in stark contrast to even 20-30 years ago when people worked their way through college. It was no uncommon to hear of someone working two jobs to get through college and jumping into a career as soon as they could. Now I think, the majority of our college graduates act more like highschool graduates than full adults. And this is where I see a huge problem. I think our society is creating this mess of 20-somethings who don’t know who they are and can’t hold down a steady job. I think this is why marriage is being pushed back in life, among other things haha.

      But if someone doesn’t feel ready then absolutely wait for marriage 🙂 God has a different plan for everyone. For me it was getting married at 19. And for many others who read this article it was too. But for the mass majority this is definitely not so! Thanks for stopping by and sharing Jen! 🙂

  40. My husband and I married at 18 – almost 19. We just celebrated our 23rd anniversary. We have 4 children who range from 14 to 20. We’ve gone thru alot of ups and downs but I love him more now than ever and I wouldn’t change a thing. It takes commitment and alot of love and grace but it can be done. :-). I am one blessed wife and momma.

  41. I was married when I was 18 and my husband was 25. This December we will have been married eight years. We’ve had many ups and downs but our marriage is growing stronger each day. The closer we grow to God the closer we grow to each other. Through the rough patches it was hard, but God saw us through and I would go back and marry him again if I had the choice. 🙂 We have many wonderful memories and four beautiful children. God is good. 🙂

  42. I loved this article and the pictures. I think marriage itself serves to mature the individuals who enter it. You could be 16 or 26 or 36 – is anyone ever really ready? There is so much to prepare for you could spend your entire life preparing. Or you can reasonably assess and in faith step into this marvelous commitment. Either way, age is hardly a factor. The age of the soul – the wisdom acquired – the desire to learn and grow – is of far more value…

  43. I skimmed the article…I would just like to question how different she expected to be within 1 year, given that she was married at age 24 and thinks marriage shouldn’t be allowed before age 25.

    Personally, I started dating my husband when we were both 15. We were married at age 22, and had a baby at age 23. We are both 25 now with 10 years of togetherness under our belt, and although times can be tough, like you said – we work through them together. We are blessed and thankful for everything God has given us.

    My husband is a youth pastor, and it makes us sad that society tells our kids to ‘sow wild oats’ before they ‘settle for marriage’. If you have been blessed enough to find your spouse at an early age, the bible says it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9).

    I realize it’s a whole different ball game for non-believers, unfortunately.

    • I completely agree!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I think maternity, family life/upbringing, and your relationship with The Lord are far more important than simply a number! I know plenty if 25 and 30 year olds who are not ready for marriage and other 20 year olds who are!

  44. Hi Jami, I came across your blog via Facebook – on the page of my friend who is 23 and getting married tomorrow! I just wanted to say, firstly, I love the blog (congratulations on expecting twins btw, you and your husband must be so excited) and secondly to say, although I am currently single, last year I was bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding – both she and hubby were 22 at the time (they met when they were 11, and started dating at 16!) – and it was WONDERFUL. Except, since then, when I say to people that my friend got married at 22, the reaction is so often a negative one. I find it so sad – I know this couple and I know their love and commitment for each other. And I think they were more ready at 22 to get married than some people ever are in their whole lives! I only pray that some day, whether I be 25 or 45, God will lead me to a relationship and a marriage like theirs and like yours, in which I can flourish and grow with my soulmate under His guidance. Here’s praying! Congratulations on your wonderful blog, and all best wishes and prayers for your husband and your babies! 🙂

    • Hi Maggie,

      I’m glad you found my blog!! 🙂 We are SO excited for our twins! It’s getting so close to when they will come, we can’t wait!

      I know, it’s the same reaction we get. My husband is now 24 (almost 25) and we have been married for 3 1/2 years but people still act like my husband is crazy for being married at 24!! They don’t even know he was actually married at 21 LOL!! We haven’t gotten it too much yet but I’m sure we will get judgement as well for having babies so young…especially two babies lol!

      Unfortunately that is just the culture we live in today! You have great wisdom in trusting that the Lord will lead you to the right man at HIS timing! Praiise the Lord that you can rest in that. Thanks for reaching out Maggie! 🙂

  45. I completely agree with you, even your digressing into generations of adult children. It is selfishness. For myself I was never interested in the partying scene, which so many others was. I was WANTING to be married and home, building a life, which no one my own age understood at all.

    {PS Not sure if I qualify as a “young wife”, as I was 23 when we were married}

  46. Hi!
    I just came across your site through To Love, Honor, and Vacuum on Facebook. I don’t usually comment on blogs etc but I had to on this topic. I met my husband at 17 (he was 22) and we were married when I was 21 (he was 26). This past June we celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. I wouldn’t have it any other way! Instead of “finding ourselves” alone we had/have each other to share the experiences and support one another. We both have wonderful examples of successful young marriages. My parents were married at 20 and they just celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary. My husband’s parents were married at 24 and just celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary. Marriage is work and the benefits are completely worth it!

    Ps – typed this from my phone, hope it makes sense!

  47. I was 23 and hubby 21 when we got married. We’ve been married 25 years this year! I can honestly say I married my best friend and he is still my best friend!

  48. THANK YOU! My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years – I had just turned 19 and he had just turned 21. Now, shortly before my 24th birthday, we will be welcoming our little boy into our family. We catch a lot of flack from others – people say we’re too young to be married and way too young to be parents but we couldn’t be happier and wouldn’t have done anything different. I love him a little more every day. And I even love watching him grow and change, because the author of that article is right – we are different people than when we met 5 years ago. But through effort and commitment growing doesn’t have to mean growing apart. You just can’t always put your own desires first. We have helped each other through our tumultuous early 20s, living on a student’s budget, the months where all we could afford to keep in the pantry was Ramen, and learning to budget when we finally did start making real money. We taught each other how to have fights that we could quickly recover from and how to make up afterwards, how to share the chores, and how to really communicate – not just talk at each other. He’s my best friend. I may not know for sure where we’ll be or what we’ll be doing in 10 or 20 years but I know that wherever and whatever it is we’ll be there doing it together no matter what bumps we have to go over to get there.

  49. I was married at 20 and we will be celebrating 18 years in April. NO regrets…My hubby is in the military so we have dealt with deployments, no money, many many moves, living overseas, and starting over each time we move and 3 kids. We had our first child at 22 so…We still love each other and can’t believe how far God has brought us. God has changed us for the better over the years. Marriage is not easy it is work.. When life gets messy you have to dig in and stick out the hard times. Communication is the key!! Congrats on your twins and your new adventure of motherhood. I have been at home for almost 16 years. Would not change it for the world.

  50. I didn’t get married until after 25, but my sister married at 20. For her, it was the right decision. If I’d married at that age, I would have been divorced by 25. If I’d married at 21, I’d have been divorced by 25. And as you say, the reason wasn’t because I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted, but because I was selfish. But just because I was selfish and immature well into my twenties (and who am I kidding, I still fight my own selfishness every day), and the author of that article was too (or so it seems) doesn’t mean the government should make a law that NO ONE can get married earlier. It is not the government’s job to protect us from ourselves.

  51. I’m 40 and we just celebrated 20 years of marriage. It has been a VERY HARD 20 years!!! However, I don’t think it was our youth that caused that. We went into our marriage without many of the advantages you started your marriage with. We also had a 10 month old when we got married. I don’t regret our marriage though. It has been the vehicle God has used to make me more like Him.

  52. Well written! Like you, I was married at 19 and my husband was 21. (I am 46 now and a mom of two sons.) I was still in college. My husband had a stable job and we bought our first house, a small stater home. Like you said, I believe it depends on the maturity level of each person. There are MANY 19-year-olds who are not mature in their lives or in their walk with God but there are some who are. I am thankful to Jesus for the six years and nine months that he gave me and my husband together. God took my husband home to heaven when I was 25, one month before my 26th birthday. I don’t say this to scare anyone, but I am thankful for the time he gave us together and the beautiful son we had. A few years later, I remarried. The man I remarried was 32 and a bachelor. He was not ready to be married at 21, God had much work to do in his life, but that’s another story…

    • How wonderful! Thanks for stopping by. I always think about that. I think that if for some reason the Lord saw fit to take my husband then at least we had these wonderful years together 🙂 God has a different timing for every couple…but for some that timing IS young!

  53. I got married less than 3 weeks after my 22nd birthday. I’m now 24 and I totally agree with you on this post. My husband and I have done a lot of growing in the past two years together and individually. We’ve learned what it takes to make a marriage work, and it’s not years of experience or the fact that many people in our society wait until later in life to get married. Many people have thought we were too young to be married and hadn’t experienced enough of life yet, but I completely disagree. We are so happy together and I have no regrets in getting married when we did. He’s my best friend and confidante, my provider and protector, my greatest ally, and I greatly appreciate and respect his wisdom and maturity despite his “young” age (He’s 26 and I’m 24). Should marriage be illegal before 25? Absolutely not. Who’s to say a 25-year-old is ready for marriage, a 35-year-old, a 55-year-old, when a 24-year-old is still to young? Getting married has nothing to do with age, and more to do with selflessness, a willingness to work hard, a determination to work through the hardships because you love and respect the other person, and desire to please and honor them and God.

  54. I began dating my husband when I was in 10th grade of high school and we’ve been together ever since. We went through everything together and he is my best friend. He asked me to marry him a month after my highschool graduation and we have been together for 4 months and it isn’t necessarily easy but I love him to peices and it’s definitely worth it! My sister in law also got married a few years ago, 3 days after her 18th birthday. It is really frustrating reading articles like the one you based this post off of because No, they DON’T understand! I feel the same as you but it’s hard to explain to others. Christians especially, along with some lucky others, are raised to understand the importance of marriage, commitment and the idea that love is work and actions not just a feeling. I know you’ve already heard everyones life story but just thought I’d share and say that you’re not the only feeling this way. There is hope, I 100% plan on raising my children to understand the importance of marriage and commitement and long as they do, I see no problem with them getting married young! God bless.

  55. I met my husband when we were 15, we were best friends and started dating a few months before I turned 16. We used to call each other on the phone every night and read the Bible together. August will be a year that we have been married. He will be 21 next week and I will be 21 in December. I am the worship leader/pastor for our youth group and he is the tech guy for youth, we both love training our youth in running sound, lighting, and having such young smiling faces on our worship team. I could not imagine not having my sweet husband. My mother-in-law got pregnant with my husband at 17 and her and my father-in-law got married when she was 19 and pregnant with my brother-in-law. They divorced after they had their fourth child, and 6 years of marriage. Needless to say from their experience both of my in-laws thought we were too young. I think the main difference was having God as the center of our relationship. My husband is the most wonderful and loving leader, he refuses to make serious decisions until after we have prayed about them. Unfortunately we live in a world were it is acceptable for the woman to “wear the pants” and the man just gives up control. We are expecting our first child, a girl, in September, and I wouldn’t trade my life for the world. Our pastor and his wife got married when she was 19 and he was 20 and they just made 38 years. I think when you and your husband become one truly in Christ, and God is the foundation of your marriage and life it really makes marriage a beautiful partnership just like God created. Thank you so much for sharing. This is such a wonderful website! 🙂

  56. I wish I knew you. My friends are the ones who would echo the writer on huffington post. I have one friend who wants to get married now after dating her boyfriend for over 7 years (she and I are both 22), but she won’t do it because they are afraid of what the world will do to them. They won’t take the leap because they both aren’t financially where they would like to be, but due to their personal situations, that doesn’t appear to be something in the near future because of what they do instead. Another one of my friends has a different boyfriend every few months. This friend is the one who believes she is too immature right now for marriage, and that she has a life to live before marriage. They both view children as burdens…I feel quite out of place now with them since I am young, married, and mothering. I feel alone in my situation a lot, but my husband is always there to reassure me that things will get better.

    Anyhow, my husband and I were immature. We made a lot of mistakes early on, but we have learned from them and have stuck through them for 3 years this coming June 29th of 2013! We have made so many life changing decisions together for the betterment of our family. So many people are focused on the wrong reasons for marriage (You have to be secure BEFORE you come together, you need to mature individually, you need to let all your party out before marriage) that they come into a marriage viewing it as the end of their lives. The most memorable moments in my life have been with my husband…I don’t want to think about where I’d be right now without him.

    Thanks so much for the post!

  57. I love this article! Me and my fiance` are getting married in four months – a week after I turn 22. He will have been 24 for three weeks. We’ve been together for three years, and we know that God has made us for each other. We gone through some pretty rough times during our courtship but those struggles have help us become stronger. And we are so excited to be married! We spend a lot of time thinking and praying about this before we got engaged. I have a lot of people tell me I’m too young, and it’s hard not to be resentful of those comments. My mom married young too, and her and my dad were together (including dating) for about 30 years before he passed away. I met my soulmate at 18 because I prayed to God, telling Him that only He knew who I was going to marry, and that I knew the One was out there somewhere. And I knew that when I and this young man were ready, God would bring us together and He did. And we give God all the glory and the praise for the blessings and happiness that we have!

  58. This was a wonderful article. My wife and I were married when I was 21, she was 20, and we’ll be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary this weekend. We’ve had mostly ups with very few downs (almost all of those financially, which we’ve figured out how to overcome together), and I don’t regret being married so young. Like the writer of the article, we weren’t partiers or drinkers. We were church goers who prayed together and fasted before deciding to become engaged.

    In fact, we’ve been blessed by my grandmother who calls us the best marriage she’s ever seen… and that’s from a woman whose been married for somewhere around 60 years. So I think the moral of the story here is that it isn’t about the age, it’s about the individuals.

  59. I am 20 years old now, and can picture myself married. God has not brought anyone into my life now, but if a God-fearing, Christ-following man were to pursue me now, I could hypothetically be married in the next year and a half (right around my 22nd birthday), if not earlier. However, my mom lists these reasons as to why I’m not married:

    “I can’t cook/clean well enough.” (I know how to clean and cook (some dishes), I am not an expert..yet.)
    “I am not strong enough in my relationship with the Lord.” I know my walk is not perfect, but I do see growth and change in my life. I also know that a “strong, mature” walk with Christ doesn’t magically cause a marriage to appear.

    She normally compares me to other young women, married and unmarried, on these aspects…she is the only person I know who has great concern over me marrying young. She was 26, my father, 28, when they married. Perhaps that is why she is so concerned? She did watch her parents go through a very difficult marriage and I am her oldest child…anyone have advice on how to lovingly and respectfully have confidence in how God has prepared and created you to marry young-and tell that to your parents? I want to honor and respect her, but I also want to be confident in responding to a pursuit.

  60. This is so encouraging. I am 21 and engaged. Me and my fiancé will be getting married at 21. I tend to struggle with anxiety about marriage and divorce statistics. I know all things are possible with God and I just have faith in Him as me and my loving fiancé go into marriage. Thank you for all the encouragement you give in the area of marrying young 🙂

  61. Just wanted to say thank you for posting! I am 21 and my precious husband is 22. We have been married a little over a year now (I was 19 and he was 21 when we got married) and God has blessed us so very much! We have gotten SO much criticism from people over our decision to get married young. But we were both walking very closely with the Lord at a young age and knew that God had brought us together and wanted marriage for our lives. We both went into our marriage (and dating relationship for that matter) with one common goal: To glorify God and display the Gospel in our lives. Not saying that we have always done that perfectly, but deep down that has been our number one desire. We went into our marriage with the desire to display the relationship between Christ and His church (we were utterly and hopelessly in love too, so that was our second reason for marriage <3) I cannot praise God enough for His faithfulness in our lives. We are more in love today then we even were on the day we said I do. I agree with you, there are many people who are not ready to be married at 19 or 20 (or 35), but there are many who are. I praise God that he brought my husband and I together at such a young age, ultimately so that we could glorify Him in our lives together. We are now praying about starting a family (we are excited to experience the joy of raising a disciple of Christ <3) Thank you so much. It is easy to get discouraged when you experience so much criticism from so many people. It helps to know that you are not alone! Sorry for the rant! God bless you and your family!

  62. Just Stumbled upon your blog from Pinterest.. love it! I was also 19 when I got married & my husband 21. Four years later and we now have 2 little girls! I am so blessed in life! I loved reading this good perspective of young marriage!

  63. Thank you so much for writing this. I was married three weeks after I turned 18 and graduated high school. I have been married for almost 7 years and have a 5 year old boy and 15 month girl. It’s very true what you said about learning steps together from money, to fights and tears and growing strong in each other and in God. I have never had one regret but did get judged a lot from people around me. Things like Oh she’s pregnant, or trying to get out of her parents house. The thing is when you know who the right person is why wait until a certain age. I wanted to grow up not just grow old with the man I love. Thanks again!! God bless you!

  64. Great blog. My husband and I married when I was 20 and he as 19. We have been married for almost 10 years now, and he is still my love. We have three beautiful children together, a home, and two dogs. 🙂 It is true that you go through many different things throughout the years, but you do them together… and you are not alone… Jesus Christ is the Absolute in our lives, and I am so glad that your blog stresses this very important relationship with the Lord. Also, my husband is nothing less than my very best friend. As a side note: my best friend, who has also been married for almost 10 years now, wed her husband when she was just 17. They now have 4 wonderful children and are looking forward to many more years together as well.

  65. I definitely think it is all about were you are in life not what age. If you are basing your decision to get married on the wrong things, that is when you have problems. My husband and his ex-wife were married young she was 19 just out of high school he was 23 and just out of college. At one point her and I had a nice long talk. She said the reason she got married was because it was what was expected, they had already been dating for three years and they just couldn’t continue to date anymore and they couldn’t live together without getting married. I feel because of this their marriage was bound to fail. She later left him for someone else. When they got married she was not ready to be fully committed to someone. I am not saying that my husband was perfect in their marriage either, but it was this sandy foundation that ultimately let the hard times in their marriage separate them. With that said, I was 21 when I married my husband and I knew what I wanted to do with my life. My mother had been divorced and is remarried now, but I knew that was not what I wanted for my life. I don’t ever want to be divorced. Divorce is complicated and usually ends in resentment and hate. If couples can learn to fight for their marriage in the tough times, it only makes them stronger and builds their love for each other. A person who wants to marry has to be willing to fully commit to the other person and willing to fight for their marriage through any challenges that may arise. This willingness does not come with age, therefore, there is no age that is right for marriage only a mindset.

  66. My husband and I have been together since I was 16 (he was 17) and we got married when I was 20 (he was 21). We have now been married for nearly 8 years and have a beautiful son and a beautiful home together. I love that we “grew up” together. We learned together how to handle finances, how to run a home, and so on. We did get negative feedback from people who thought we were too young, but we trusted God to get us through the good and the bad. My husband is my best friend and we are so thankful God brought us together at a young age. It’s always nice to see other couples who have similar backgrounds. I know very few people who are in relationships that started out as young as we did.

  67. My husband and I were both 19 when we got married, over 18 years ago! We were not saved until years later. We were both in the military (how we met) and got married after knowing each other for only 10 weeks! We almost got divorced at the 10 year mark. My husband was raised in a Christian home, I was not; but we had spent time in church in our married life so my first inclination (even as a lost person) was to seek Godly people to help us.

    My point is, yes I was young and lost and selfish and so was my husband; but when we almost lost what each other we decided to put that aside and grow up and fight for our marriage and seek the Lord…that’s when we really learned what marriage was all about!

    It has nothing to do with should it be legal or illegal! It’s all about choices. We can choose to be selfish and blame our problems on “age” or we can be a mature adult and choose to fight for the commitment that was made before God (whether you believe in Him or not).

  68. My husband and I were married 1 year and 1 month after we met, 8 months after we started dating and found out we were expecting 1.5 months after our wedding! I was 18 and he was 22, we just celebrated our one year anniversary two months ago and what a wonderful and crazy life that we’ve had together so far! God has truly blessed us with each other! I love him more now than ever before and now we have a 3 month old baby boy to love too! I can’t imagine having waited to get married! I love being a housewife, although there are though days, as with anything! I’m already eager to have another baby! Congratulations on the twins and what a blessing they are! You’ll be so busy, I can’t imagine having 2 babies at once! Life is so full of surprises and God has such a wonderful plan for all of us!

  69. I see your points of view and do agree with them but I think they are quite judgemental to the woman who wrote that being married under 25 should be illegal.. not everyone was born into a loving Christian home or is blessed with meeting a loving Christian man. Sometimes when Christians tell the world the blessings that God has given them, it can create a roadblock between ministering to nonbelievers because instead of them seeing the grace of Christ which was really meant for the outsiders, the disgraced of society and the forgotten, we can inadvertently make them feel we are better than them… I just think its really important for Christians to know this… because

  70. You have to understand from a nonchristians point of view that a lot of people are against young marriage and marriage in general because they have been hurt, because they aren’t yet aware of God’s love, because they have been mistreated by men, because the devil has lied to them about what happiness and what relationships truly mean. These people need grace and guidance because a lot of these people are just lost and it’s not entirely their fault. It’s such a huge blessing to know God from a young age and its not by our own merit but by God’s grace.

  71. Hi Jami! I am 19 and engaged to be married in June:). After my fiancé and I became engaged, I began looking for wisdom on being a wife and I ran across your website. It has been such a blessing to me..I can’t even tell you how much it has helped. I just love how confident you are with your marriage and relationship with Christ. I wish I could say the same for myself! But, God is working in me and molds me more into the women I am to be every day. I like many others often feel like “the odd one out” amongst friends my age. My heart is focused on the man God has blessed me with and how I can love him more as we build a life together. But, I am okay with that:). When you know God is calling, there is nothing to be afraid of. By the way, I am thrilled to be engaged to such a tender, Godly man. I never thought I would be marrying so young…but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I hope you are continuously blessed in your walk with Christ:) -Thank you

  72. Thank you so much for writing this. I have always had these thoughts in my mind, but you expressed them so well! It definitely encouraged me. I am 20 and my fiance is almost 25. We will be getting married in June and at first, some of my family thought it was way too young to get married. My parents were 18 and 21 when they got married, so they understand, which is wonderful. But in society today, everyone thinks it’s okay to live with your boyfriend and not make a commitment. So why is it discouraged to go before God and make the commitment together to live right? Love has no age. As long as you stay faithful to each other, and keep God the first priority, you will have an amazing marriage!

  73. Age has nothing to do with it in most cases! It’s all about the focus and relationship with God. I was married at 20, hubby 23, and I wouldn’t change a thing :0)

  74. I’ve been married twice. I got married very young at 21 not knowing what I wanted or what a real relationship looked like ( I come from a divorced mother who never re-married). He was awful, emotionally and physically abusive, he left me when I got ‘boring’ and came back when his other women got sick of him. I couldn’t handle it anymore so I left with my 1 year old daughter. I didn’t know what had happened. I was confused, jaded, hurt beyond all belief. I met my now second husband shortly after that. It was very different. He was very traditional with traditional values so I felt like I had a roll to fill and that suited me just fine. I now feel that if I had gone through some type of courtship process with my first husband, I would have seen all of those ‘red flags’ and developed a foundation for our future marriage. That is what I have now. A solid, flawed and loving relationship that I can work at with somebody who wants the same thing. I do not think age is a factor. I think parents need to prepare their children for the courtship process. I was very ill-prepared so that made for needless heartache.

  75. What a wonderful place for support and wisdom! I am a newly wed. After dating for 3 ½ years, we were married in September 2013 (he 20 and I barely 21). It was a journey for sure. The Lord taught us patience during the years we dated, and we learned to rest in Him until His timing had come. It is such a blessing to wait on the Lord, there is no other way to do it! And we would not be where we are without Him.

  76. Just wanted to say; I got married at barely 20 and was married for 14 years. I knew without a doubt this was the person God had for me. Now 41 and divorced I can say It was never my intention to get divorced however, I was immature, didn’t know what I wanted, grew up in the Church so God was not foreign to me and as such feels that I married too young. I didn’t know ME.
    Now that I’m older and wiser, I think under 25 is not a good age to be married but a good age to start paying attention to what you desire in a mate and where God is leading you in this journey we call life. I think late 20s early 30s is optimal for marriage because at that point if you’ve gone to college, you’re on your career path whether it be secular or ministerial, you’re mature and has a sense of who you are and what your God given desires are.
    I do not regret marrying young because of many, many reason; I have 3 boys (2 in College, 1 in High School) would I want my boys marrying young? No

  77. When I saw the title of this blog post on Pinterest, I was enraged! No WAY!! How could someone even think of such a thing?! I, like you, was married at 19, and 7 1/2 years and three children later, I can honestly say, I don’t regret a moment. I agree with you whole-heartedly, and I’m so glad you’re speaking truth in this area.

  78. I agree and yet have caveats. I think that marrying young is right for many people, but it is very important that they have a LOT of support around you. I began dating my future husband at 21 and he 22, and knew from the beginning he was probably “the one” but I was not emotionally ready to marry until I was 25. I was not even aware of the degree of my own woundedness (even coming from a loving, normal Christian family with no significant trauma) when we first started dating. We broke up several times as I worked that out, healed, and grew into a more emotionally mature person. We have both been Christ-followers since childhood, but we have also matured in our theology quite a bit as time has gone by and not in a synchronized fashion. I am SO glad we didn’t get married when we were 21/22 because I think we would have done some long-term damage to our bond, trust, and each other if we had. It was much better for us to work it out as we remained single, and have room to grow separately during those rough few years. We have been married 3 years now and it’s been very joyful with almost none of the adjustment trouble that I hear others having. On the other hand, I have a sister who married when they were both 20, and got divorced two years later because of all the pain they caused each other in their immaturity and isolation despite their common Christian faith and families. I don’t think that the specter of divorce should scare you from marrying if you are ready, but I think that the emotional struggle is an important thing to be wary of if you choose to marry young. I think people should be aware that you *may* find yourself a decade later, changed quite a bit as your brain finished developing in your mid-20s, committed to your husband but aware it may not be the match you’d have picked if you waited, but that you can live with that and remain faithful even if that’s the case. As many commenters stated above, many do not have regrets. And yet many do, silently and faithfully. Frederica Mathews-Greene has a wonderful essay and lecture about this topic–she encourages more young marriage but says that the support of family and community is essential if young couples are going to ride out the tumult of growing to full adulthood. http://frederica.com/writings/lets-have-more-teen-pregnancy.html

  79. I loved this article thanks for re-sharing! I got married at 20, my husband was 23. We’ve only been married 7 years and we have both changed a lot since then, but we have grew together as well. We have had a few downs with many ups, we have welcomed 3 wonderful children into our lives as well as saying goodbye to family members. I think a lot of it depends on maturity and not being selfish. You have to want your marriage to last and be willing to work with your spouse and not just want things to be one way. My sister is 31 and she is still too selfish for marriage, she wants things to be her way and not willing to compromise. Age IS just a number and has no reflection on when you should or should not get married.

  80. Jami- I appreciate the enthusiasm you share and inspiration you give to many married woman, especially young and new married couples. I was engaged at 19 yrs. of age and married at 20yrs. My husband is 6 years older than me. We have been married for 17 years now and have two daughters- ages 14 and 10. My advice to my daughters is definitely to wait until at least 25 yrs. of age before saying “I Do.” Even as a mature Christian young woman, who was working on my degree and had a solid career plan for my future, and thought I knew exactly what I wanted in life, I didn’t. I don’t believe you have fully matured and developed enough to know who you are and what you are really needing in a life’s partner as a teenager (18, 19) and even early 20s. The frontal lobe of our brains (that control reasoning and judgement) is not even fully developed until 25 yrs old! Another great reason to wait until then to make one of the most important and life-altering decisions you will ever make, one that will impact you forever…..till death do us part. Not a decision to be taken lightly or rushed into hastily. Blessings!

  81. Thanks for re-posting this article. I think being a person of faith helps to know who you are and what you want or need to do with your life. I met my husband at the age of 12 and he was 15. We got married when I was 16 and him 19. This August we will be celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary. I won’t say it was always easy. I didn’t realize how tough it would be to finish high school as a married woman. Plus every one assumed I was pregnant. I didn’t have my first child till I was 19 and my second at 21. Communication is the biggest key you need. If you can talk and have respect for each other then it makes things so much more easy. Age is just a number. Not all are doomed to fail before the age of 25. Love your articles!

  82. Hello. I have been reading your blog for some time now, but didn’t have a blog to use to comment, but now that I do (and I really have no clue what I am doing when it comes to a blog), I wanted to say that You have incredible insight.

    My husband and I married at 18 and 19. We are now in our 30s and going strong!

    The thing that many people fail to realize is that marriage is not some fairytale romance that love alone sustains. It takes a working investment in each other and forgiving each others shortcomings. It also takes a godly love, such as that found in 1 Corinthians 13, not a worldly love that centers around self. That love is sustaining, patient, and kind. Marriage starts with Christ, not with yourself or your spouse, which is one of the ways I feel people tend to make a mistake. It really has nothing to do with a number. It has everything to do with living a Christ-centered life, which sometimes includes being sacrificial and forgiving even when it is hard. To us, it is a lifelong contract that we entered into that we take very seriously. It isn’t something we feel we are to run away from when life gets tough.

    The area we have gotten the most feedback on in our marriage is that I allow my husband to make the final decision in our home, even if I do not agree. I get equal say whenever it comes to discussing our decisions, but in the event of a disagreement, he is the head of the house. This includes our finances, which is the part most people disagree with us on, even our Christian friends. We have pointed out the biblical aspects behind our decision and really do not fight about things our friends fight about, because I trust my husband to make the best decision he can based on prayer, biblical wisdom, experience, and my insight and research. I may not always agree, but he has never misused this authority he has in our home.

  83. I enjoyed this article very much! I was married at 21 and am about to celebrate 26 years of marriage! We’re constantly growing and changing and that happens whether we’re married or not. You grow together when you let God lead the way. 🙂

  84. I married my husband when I was 22 and could have said the same thing as this girl. I did not know who I was, or what I wanted. I knew I wanted a husband, and babies, but I knew nothing about how to be a good wife, or even that I wanted to be one. I was entirely selfish, cared about my needs, not his so much. I mean I thought I did, but I know now that I cared more about how to get him to meet my needs. I also know that it had nothing to do with my age. I was unhappy, felt lost, was looking for a husband to meet all my needs, and the biggest problem was that I didnt know God. I believed in Him in a superficial way. Age doesn’t matter, but God does. My husband believes in God, but still doesn’t completely walk the path, yet I still know that my marriage was the greatest blessing in my life because our marriage was such a wreck it was either divorce or change, and God helped me change who I was and grow and fall completely in love with Him, and my husband at the same time. I think about who I would be if it hadn’t been for my marriage and I think I probably would have been just as self centered, just as stubborn, just as lost. The first 2 years were impossibly hard, but God lead us through it, now we are on year 7, and happy, with 4 beautiful babies, and I have found God in such a profound way. My young marriage saved me, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that, or more in love with my husband.

  85. Thanks so much for writing this! It is so true that marriage needs to be between two responsible, mature adults. The number age does not matter as long as you understand what you are getting into. Every ten years you’ll look back at yourself and think “I was so immature then” the reason for it is that you have had an extra ten years to mature!

    As you said, there are a lot of irresponsible 30 year olds that cannot make marriages last as well.

  86. I didn’t read all of the comments, so someone could have already said this.. but I think one of the reasons “young marriage” …or… as it should be called, “marriage” is frowned upon is because the average “millennial” grew up self-centered and feeling a sense of entitlement. If it wont benefit them DIRECTLY, they’re not game. When I told my friends that I was remorseful for having sex before marriage and that my husband (then, fiance) and I would be waiting for marriage to have sex, every. single. one. of them was like, “whaaaaattttt, that’s an outdated idea…” Um, in God’s eyes its not.

    I think it’s just really hard for a lot of millennials to put someone else’s needs ahead of their own be it God or their spouse!

  87. Oh my goodness! I wish I would have came across this a few years ago when I was preparing for our wedding and people kept telling me that marriage was going to be horrible and we were going to start hating each other within a month or two. I’m 21 now and have been married for a little over two years. We got married on my 19th birthday and my husband was just a few months shy of being 21. Being married has been the most wonderful experience ever! I’m not saying that we have not had our share of ups and downs and arguments, but we have worked through our differences and everything that life has thrown at us together! I love the constant companionship. Just this morning we were standing in the livingroom hugging and talking about how much we would miss each other and how we wished he didn’t have to go to work so that we could spend the day together! . really do love being married and I love my husband and the past two years have been the best years of my life. I am looking forward to all of the years to come and facing whatever the world has in store with my husband right by my side!

  88. Well Jamie, you certainly hit a nerve with this post. Well done! My husband and I were 21 when we married and recently celebrated our 42nd anniversary. Now I usually tell people we were 5 and a half because . . . well you can do the math. But I’m with you, it’s about growing and maturing together. Age at the time of marriage has nothing to do with it.

  89. I found this post on Pinterest and just HAD to come over here to read it. (I left a comment over there, too). I was 19 when I married my then 21 year old husband. This July it will be 33 years! Keeping Christ at the center of marriage is the key. No, we didn’t know what we were going to do with our lives…but we wanted to find out together. We made a commitment to each other before God. When some storms of life hit us, our marriage has stood the test because it is built on Jesus Christ. When a bump in the road comes, we shouldn’t just give up and think that “we must have been too young”. That’s simply a cop out. We are so thankful for each other and for the love that God has grown between us. Marriage is a beautiful thing no matter what the critics say…

    Blessings to you and your hubby!

    In His grip, Joan

  90. Thank you so much for this!! I was 20 and my husband was 19 when we married, and this coming Sunday will be our one year anniversary. He has blessed me in so many ways, and I truly could not be happier! When we got married, he was a full-time nursing student, working part-time as a CNA, and I was working as a medical assistant. Our wedding consisted of a town hall, a mayor, and both our immediate families, and it was perfect. We were living on love and not much money at that point. It saddens me to think of not marrying him until I was 25. I choose him, every day, and will continue choosing him for the rest of eternity. I know exactly who I am and what I want, and that is to be Drue Berry’s wife for the rest of my existence.

  91. I stumbled onto your blog via Pinterest and Im so glad someone out there is writing about the other side of getting married young! I was married at 18 and am now 24. I can say that after 6 years we have definitely had our ups and downs, but I love my husband more today then the day I married him! I can say for both of us we are still head over heels crazy for each other. And though many of my friends are just now getting married I wouldn’t trade my six years of marriage for theirs of college and travel and parties. I stayed home with our son while my husband went to school and stayed up late helping him study. We travel some now and I LOVE to travel with my husband and watch my little children discover the world with us. This is a far more amazing life then if I had waited to get married like many people suggested. We have learned together, grown together, seen God’s love and grace and wisdom together! My Gran told me on her 50th wedding anniversary that on the day she got married people told her it would never last. That her and my Grandpa were to young. Her only regret was that those people weren’t alive now to see them celebrate their 50th with all their children and grandchildren and even some great grand children. I am excited to see what the next 54 years will bring my marriage!
    Thanks Again!!

  92. As an older wife of 32 years and the mother of eight, this idea that marriage keeps a woman from self-discovery is a bunch of feminist malarky. It’s also an excuse for divorce. Ultimately, the purpose of marriage is not to make us happier (although, God in His goodness often gives us that as a good gift) but to make us less self-centered and to do more together than we can do alone. For those who won’t give up their selfishness, divorce is an easy out.


  93. Oops! I forgot to add this to my comment. Getting married when you are older takes a lot more adjustment. You’ve had time to grow selfish and you are used to “your own time.”Even committed Christians can have a very hard time adjusting to living with another person.

    The same goes with parenting. The older parents I know are not better parents…especially if they wait (on purpose) to have children later in life.

    jill farris

  94. I’m currently engaged at 23 and my fiance is also 23. We are considering getting married next year May 2015, but my parents want us to wait until the following year in 2016. We both have full time jobs and together are nearly making $100,000. We both are also financially independent and we are Christ followers and serve in ministries at our church. In my mind, my parents don’t understand that we are trying to remain pure and marriage for us next year is best because we are “burning” with passion lol. As matter of fact, they had me when they were 25 and they weren’t married AND they weren’t true followers of Christ. They said that they were not ready to get married and that at we must not be either. It’s a battle that I’m facing right now and my dad, even though he supports us one day getting married, said that he wouldn’t show up if we got married next year. Help! If anyone has advice, please help.

  95. I was 17 almost 18 when I got engaged to a Godly man and we are getting married July 25th 2015 and we will both be just 19. (I turn 19 the day before.) Our parents are on board which is a huge blessing. We still get lectures like “you’re too young” or “you have your whole life ahead” from family members or friends…even our church family! It does get annoying after a while but we know that this is what God wants and he has blessed us abundantly. My Fiance (Grant) is in college for this next year to be an EMT and I will be working, so we can have a little income when we get married but I know that God is going to provide and we are so excited!

  96. I just found this on pinterest and I am glad to have read it. I am currently engaged at 18 and my fiancé is 20 we have been hearing nothing but that we are setting ourselves up for failure. We are continually being told to wait until I am 25 and he has a successful career, and that they have never seen a young marriage work. Our opinion is if God has us together already why wait? I feel like her article is far more about her failed relationship than actual advice. Thank you for your words of encouragement to young couples.
    God Bless.

  97. It is sad to me that the writer of the Huffington Post article seems to want to find fault with the government instead of taking responsibility for her part in her divorce. I guess it eases any guilt she may feel, to be able to say it was just a case of marrying too early.

    On the other hand, it is true that she probably could have used more and better guidance on choosing a husband. But she, like so many in our culture these days, looks to the WRONG jurisdiction for that guidance.

    It is her parents and friends from church family who should have been there to tell her if she was too young or immature for marriage. The fact that she probably would not have listened to them does not mean we should give the job to the government!

    So yes, I agree, no new laws raising the age of marriage, please!

  98. How refreshing to read your blog and all the comments from those who have married young. Our society and even the church promotes waiting longer for marriage which saddens me. The world believes we need “to find” ourselves, have a career, and stability for a bright future. Really, obedience to God’s direction is all that matters. He will direct your future together molding and drawing you together as one. All the uncertainties of life are what keeps God as the center of a marriage. I was married at 22….only because that is when I met my husband. I’ve always wished I knew him when I was even younger. We have now been married 37 years. Getting older is not so bad when you age with the love of your youth.

  99. Wow, I was married at nineteen my husband was 21. We had to wait till then for me to finish High school. (parents wouldn’t let us marry earlier) I was told that it wouldn’t work out a lot by teachers pushing me to go to college first. But I always wanted to get married and be a house wife. I have been married for 11 years now. My husband and I have been together for almost 15 years all together. I would have missed out on three of my four children and 6 years of happy marriage. I feel like I missed nothing those 6 years besides sleep. My husband and I have grown together and are so much farther ahead in our life plans that we will beable to enjoy for not waiting.

  100. My husband and I were just discussing this topic yesterday. We’ve been married 21 years, together five years before that. I was 17 when we started dating, he was 18. We enthusiastically support the idea that getting married young is worth it (hard, but worth it). We did have to grow up together, the hard part. But we are so happy to have the memories of even more years behind us. We learned and it wasn’t easy,but divorce just wasn’t going to be an option we knew before saying “i do”. Of course there were times that it would have been easier to leave, when I “wasn’t happy” or he “didn’t fulfill my needs” But that committment? So thankful for it because if I’d left I would have missed out on the sweetness that can only come after so much time together. And, the best husband I could imagine

  101. I so agree with this. My husband and I were ready to get married when we were 20. We waited until I was 22 and he was 23 because we weren’t able to live in the same city until then. Originally, we were going to wait 9 months longer, and frequently we lay in bed together and say, “Can you believe that if we had stuck to our original plan, we wouldn’t be married yet?” That’s just not an option for us! You want us to wait 3 more years? No. I’m sorry. Just no. We’re over 18 and we can make our own decisions.

    I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I’m currently writing a blog and selling essential oils, but that’s not what I want to do forever. My husband is in the middle of a life crisis. So we grow together, figure things out together, and provide each other with the support we both need.

    We were ready at 20. I know plenty of people who aren’t ready at our current age. I know someone who was 39 and shouldn’t have gotten married! It’s about who you are and who the person you’re with it, not about your age.

  102. I got married at 22 after a year-plus engagement. That was over 11 years ago. My best friend married about 9 months before me. She’s a little younger than I am. We are both still married and have beautiful children.

    Yes, I look at people in their early to mid 20’s (and I look at myself at that age) and see how young, inexperienced, and immature they are. That is how life works! I’m sure when I’m a decade older I’ll look back to my 30’s and think how young and foolish I was. There’s no getting off that train (well, not staying above ground).

    We as a society seem bent on making childhood last forever. I have seen kids getting help from mom & dad on their homework… in college. Then there’s the whole kids on insurance until age 26. Not that I don’t see why, but the age of full adulthood seems to keep being pushed back.

    Why would anyone suggest that, while 18 is old enough to vote and serve in the military, it’s not old enough to get married? Not to suggest we should move military age up, but how silly would it be to say somebody is mature enough to, say, drive a tank and risk their life for their country, but not mature enough to get married? Frankly, a bad decision about marriage is probably easier to undo than a bad decision in a battlefield.

  103. Just wanted to say thank you.

    After a lot of thought and a lot of prayer throughout our relationship my boyfriend and I decided that marriage was our inevitable goal (pending familial integration and some financial stability). But I’ve been still been hesitant because ive been too concerned about the world, and it bothers me because he was pretty sure I was it for longer than vice versa. I’m 23 and he’s 21. We’ve been together for about 7 months, but we know in our hearts that this is right. My best friend from college though I KNOW would call me dumb and ignorant because she’s convinced you shouldn’t get married till you’re 30 because “you need to wait till you’ve both reached your full maturity.” My parents, and grandparents, married younger and after dating for about the same amount of time (if not less). This is the second of your posts I’ve read but it gave me some peace of mind about not caring what the world thinks and accepting the wonderful blessing God has give us in each other. Something I’ve discussed with my parents time and time again (married at the same age you guys did and still goig incredibly strong after 35 years). Definitely gonna come back to this blog often!

  104. I was married on my 19th birthday. My husband and I met when I was 13 and he was 14. We dated for 5 years before we got married. We have been together 20 years and 17 days. He is my best friend.

    Were there things I did not know about him when I married him? Yes. He had not been thoroughly tested by life. Were there things he did not know about me when I married him? Yes. I had not been thoroughly tested by life. Have we changed considerably from the people we were? Yes. We have. Are we still in love? Yes. We are.

    Love is a choice, not an emotion. You get to choose whether or not you are going to love your spouse in the difficult moments, and it’s not always an easy choice, but it’s always worth it. I feel sorry for the lady who divorced to find herself, and now blames her age. It wasn’t her age that was the problem. It was her understanding of what marriage is about that was the problem.

    I don’t think being married young is a problem, as long as you both understand that love is a choice you make to give of yourself even when the other person isn’t, to love them even when they aren’t behaving in a lovable manner, and to work hard to build the bridges to close the gaps when you realize they’ve developed.

  105. I graduated high school at 16, left to Guatemala to volunteer alone at 17, returned home married my husband at 18, and am currently back in Guatemala with him at 19. We will be returning to the States in about a week to do a semester of college classes we can’t do online from here and am actually regretting it. When we introduce each other as My Husband/ My Wife no one second guesses it here, but in the States I get remarks like “You’re joking, right?” or even “That’s stupid. Why would you guys get married so young?” This post was a breathe of fresh air, in the mist of so much of my frustration with our cultures view on marriage. Thank you so much for the encouragement you give here! Its so good to know we are not alone!

  106. Wow, I cannot tell you how refreshing this article is.
    My husband and I married when I was 20 and he was 3 weeks away from 20. For the longest time we received such criticism for our choice to get married. It was beyond frustrating that people could not grasp that the most important thing in our life is love and God. Neither of us cared about partying it up, and “experiencing your 20’s” as so many people put it. We thirsted to grow together spiritually. We have always looked at love as a triangle. Each of us on one corner, with God at the top, the closer we get to God, the closer we become with each other. It is so unfortunate that many people are brainwashed by our society’s prioritization of amplifying the negative in relationships and marriage. No matter your financial situation, career, or anything, the most important thing to strive for should always be God and love.

  107. I so appreciate you writing this article. I was married at 18 1/2 and received a lot of flack from my family and group of friends. I am 20 now but still received shocked responses when I tell people I am married. I love my marriage and can’t image still living with my parents, or living on my own, instead of being where I am at today. Sure, I might not have known everything about my husband before we tied the not. But the opposite was true for him too. Through prayer, trust, and reliance in God we made the leap of faith to be married. I’m grateful for that leap of faith we took, each day.

  108. I am 21 now and got married at 20.. I wish 100% that I would have waited until I was 25. While I see the point you are making it isn’t always the case. There may be more issues that lie behind that women’s post that we don’t know about.

  109. I had just turned 17 and my husband 18 when we got married. We have been married for 30 years. Marriage is never easy and we’ve had our trying times, but I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything!! We have grown up together and have grown stronger together. People have a lot of excuses about why they get divorced, but they are just excuses. Except for abuse, there is no reason to get a divorce, people are just lazy and unwilling to do the work required to have a healthy, happy marriage. I do enjoy your blog!!

  110. I think that readiness for marriage is an amalgamation of a many factors and not simply a case of maturity. I got married when I was 23 and my husband was 22, this is still relatively young by many peoples standards but it has worked well for us over the years. We meet through a homeschool co-op when we were 10 years old and our families were extremely close during the next 10 years. During college we lost touch. He finished his bachelors degree in 2 years then lived in a couple of different countries. We reconnected during my senior year, when he was starting his Masters degree. We were at different schools and had to do long distance for a while but I think it was good for both of us. By living independently during and after college we were able to learn a lot and not because we were immature. My mother, who has always been very supportive of our relationship, advised me not to rush into marriage. She advised me to enjoy each stage of my life because you cannot go back and I really believe there was a lot of wisdom in that statement. I look back on all of the fun things (mostly traveling for academic research with my team) I was able to do with no regrets because I wasn’t married or in a relationship and I am glad I waited. That being said, I would never want to go back to being single. My husband is my very best friend each day is an adventure. We are still growing and supporting each other through academia and loving life. Getting married is a personal choice and the age at which you get married is less important than the reasons you get married.

  111. I loved this article! I am getting married next month and I’m only recently 18. When I tell people that they often gawk or make stupid comments. Some have even asked I’m pregnant. I’m not, I’m just in love! Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I don’t know who I am it means I have more time to grow. I have never wanted anything else but to be a wife and a mother. So I get more time to perfect the wifey part before I have kids! Thank you for the post!

  112. Hey! I love your blog and have been following it for months! I’m 19 and I’m getting married next year! I’m a Bible college student and have been with my fiance for 3 year, engaged for 1. Any tips, testimonies, or advice you could give me or maybe suggest some resources that helped you in the early season of your marriage?

  113. I was married at 17 years old, 3 weeks before I graduated high school. My husband was 22. We had a rough first year but have now been happily married for 29 years. I was not completely happy with my home life and I really don’t think my life would have been any better if I had waited to get married. It all depends on maturity and I truly believe that a lot of people, especially younger ones are infatuated with someone and not truly in love enough to survive a lifelong commitment. I dated my husband for three years(yes I was very young) but we knew from very early on we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. And I wouldn’t change it if I could. He is my best friend and we grow closer every day even after all of these years. I pray for many many more to come.

  114. My grandmother was 16 when she married my grandfather (and no, she was not pregnant at the time). When she died in her late 60’s they were still married and had not long before celebrated their 50th anniversary.

    I was 36 and a single mom to my 13 year old when I met my husband. I actually think it is harder, because I had my independence and my own way of doing things where and when I wanted to. Now I need to discuss a lot of once easy decisions, like what to eat or what to buy and for how much, with someone else who doesn’t always agree.

  115. I am so glad it wasn’t illegal (: June 23 will be 24 years for me and my hubby! I was 23 and far from grown in maturity level; don’t think I really began growing up until I had our first son (of three boys) at 28. I am glad to say that everything it has taken to get there has been worth it!

  116. This was very uplifting to hear. I got married at the age of 18 to my hubby back in 2004, who was 22. No one supported us and all thought we would never make it. God is so good and now almost 11 years later and two beautiful daughters, one was born when I was 22 and the other 23 we are better than ever. Yes, we had to grow up together and we went through many trials together but I wouldn’t trade our experiences for anything. Thank you for speaking up for all of us young wives!

  117. I just came across your blog and have been enjoying reading your articles. In regards to this specific blog about the age of marriage, I was 19 when I got married, my husband was 24. (same as the author of the article you cite above), but unlike that author, My husband I are still going strong in our marriage. – it’s been 27 years now. I find your writings refreshing and love that they are Christ-centered. God bless you and your family.

  118. I just found your blog, and I love it!
    Good blog post, but I feel like the real problem with the Huffington Post article was that her solution was to make marriage under 25 ILLEGAL. It wasn’t “people should seriously consider not marrying before this age/here’s the stats”. It was that she immediately jumped to taking away the right of legal adults to choose for themselves. If they do not have the ability to make decisions and choose for themselves than what on earth is taking away the right going to do? The lack of ability is still there!

  119. While I think it’s fantastic that you have such a blessed marriage, I don’t think it’s fair to pick apart this other woman’s experience. To me, this article feels kind of boastful in the face of someone else’s loss. But I hope your marriage is still flourishing!

    • The point of her article is that NO ONE under age 25 should get married. I feel so sorry for her that her own marriage ended so badly. But that’s not to say that others shouldn’t get married under age 25. My reasons for being pro-young marriage in some circumstances stems from the reasons why she is against young marriage.

  120. My husband and I knew of each other for 5 years before we started dating in December 2006 (the year I graduated). Before New Years Eve we were engaged. November 2007 we were married, I was 19 he was 24. We had 3 boys together by the end of 2010, 2014 we added our princess and 2015 his two oldest boys came to live with us. In two weeks on November 24th will make 10 years. We wouldn’t change a thing. We grew up together. We’ve went from being pretty much homeless to owning our own home. I knew he was the one when out first “date” ended with him reading me verses from the Bible.

  121. I know this is an old post but the message is timeless. I am 44 my husband it 46. We were only 14 and 16 when we started “dating”(we didnt actually date we were neighbors and just spent all of our free time together). We got married 5 years later. That was 25 years ago! Looking back, we were DEFINITELY too young, but I dont regret it. I did have moments when I wondered what it was like to be on my own, do average teenager stuff in high school and all that but I couldnt imagine my life without my husband. We have 2 daughters, ages 25 and 22. My oldest was 23 when she married and is expecting our 2nd grandson in Sept. My youngest has been with her fiance for almost 7 years and she is on the path to becoming a doctor. I think for people who married so younge our lives turned out pretty great. Yes there have been bad times but our foundation is rock solid and thats the most important thing in any marriage.