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10 Reasons Why I am a Homemaker Part 1

on October 28, 2013 by Heather Faria 22 comments

Lady in Kitchen

Photo Credit: Lori L. Stalteri

By Heather, Contributing Writer

A few months ago, with the birth of my first son, I became a full-time homemaker. Before my son was even born, I was frequently asked the question from all kinds of people of whether or not I would be going back to work.  I always responded by saying, “As long as we aren’t suffering financially, our goal is for me to stay at home with him!”  Sometimes my response was met with supportive remarks such as, “Oh how wonderful!”  or “I hope that works out for you!”  However, occasionally I received very perplexed looks and was asked why I don’t want to go back to work and would rather be a homemaker.

“What are you going to do with all your extra time?”, “Don’t you think you will be bored?”, “Are you sure you guys can make it on just one income?”  “Why don’t you just have your parents or in-laws watch the baby?”

While I’m sure a few of these people might have disapproved of my husband’s and my decision for me to be a stay at home mom, I honestly think most of these people were just confused!  I mean think about it, in the world we live in today, it would seem that modern conveniences have eliminated the need for homemakers.  Not to mention, it’s not like we live in a male ruled society anymore where women are looked down upon in the work force and are forced to be stuck at home!  There are so many options now a days for women!  Why waste my life on an occupation that seems so….unnecessary?

Well, unfortunately when I am put on the spot I tend to get flustered.  Needless to say, I can’t think of a time when I offered a very eloquent or complete response as to why my husband and I have made this decision.  Which is why I would like to make a list of those reasons here!  It seems to me that most people do not consider homemaking as a viable career option not so much because they think there is something wrong with it, but because they have never been taught why it is significant.  As I go through the reasons why I have chosen to be a homemaker, as well as the Biblical reasons that support my conviction, please understand that I am not trying to place judgement on anyone who has not chosen the same path or is not able to be a homemaker at this time.  I understand that every person’s situation is unique!  I simply desire to share my reasons with you and perhaps inspire and encourage you to view your own role as a homemaker, (whether it be full-time or part-time), in a new way!

This month we will cover reasons 1 through 5.  Join me next month for Part 2!

Top 10 Reasons why I Have Chosen to be a Homemaker

Reason #1: God designed women to be the keeper of the home

Most of us are very familiar with the passages from Proverbs 31 and Titus 2. (If you aren’t I encourage you to look them up!)  In Proverbs, it describes a women whose primary focus is tending to the needs of those within her home.  This woman, described by King Lemuel as the model of the kind of wife to look for, is highly esteemed for her dedication to her home.  In Titus 2, Paul exhorts the older women to teach the younger women to be “workers at home”.

It is obvious in Scripture that God greatly values the entity of the home!  So much so, that He thought it necessary to create a whole position dedicated just to keeping it. Many women, who believe that there are no distinctions between the sexes, might argue that it is unfair that this role was assigned to women and there is no reason why it can’t be shared equally with men.  However, the Bible is clear that while men are the leaders of their homes, women have the responsibility of managing them.  This is a good thing!

Think about the men and women you know!  Women naturally are more inclined to be nurtures and caregivers and men are more inclined to be providers and protectors.  I don’t know any man who would be able to efficiently keep a house, plan and prepare healthful meals, tenderly nurse every owie and boo and boo, and accomplish all the other host of tasks and responsibilities of a homemaker the way that a woman can!  Can he physically do these things?  Yes of course.  But with the same tenderness, and thoughtful care of a women?  No.  Is that demeaning to men?  No!  Because men and women are created differently.  We are hardwired to do different things.  Women cannot lead, protect and provide for a home with the same effect that a man can.  Yes we technically can do those things.  But we’re not meant to.  That’s just the way God designed it.  And it is a good thing!

Reason #2: Our first ministry is to our husband and children

This is something I am very passionate about!  Most of us think of ministry in terms of helping those outside our home, whether through church or in some other fashion.  However, our first and foremost ministry is to our husbands and children!  These are the people who God hand-picked to be in our most intimate lives.  The way that we live as wives and mothers will forever impact our families!  We have the ability to either neglect them for other more “important” ministries and thus produce a negative impact, or to treat the physical, spiritual and emotional tending of our families as the highest privilege and service, thereby doing them the ultimate good.

I love this quote from Carolyn Mahaney that responds to the tendency we have to view ministry outside the home as more important.

“The challenge of ministry in our home is that we do not always feel very “spiritual” when we wash our dishes. It hardly feels significant to scrub our toilet, and we can feel that we are truly ministering when the Lord uses us to communicate a word of wisdom to someone, or He provides an opportunity to share the gospel with our neighbor. That seems like real ministry. And that is real ministry to be sure! But no more so than when we are wiping runny noses or cleaning the bathroom. That is because we have a very narrow view of true spirituality… The Lord wants to help us see the significance of ministry at home. He also wants to expand our vision for the multiple opportunities that we have for ministry in the home. Let’s ask the LORD to help us gain a biblical perspective of our ministry at home.”
~ Carolyn Mahaney – Feminine Appeal

By neglecting our homes for other forms of ministry or occupation, it is like we are saying, “Sorry God.  I know you gave me this household and family, but it just isn’t as important as this other thing over here.”

Reason #3: My time and attention to my husband and children will not be divided

While I was working, I constantly would come home exhausted and end up giving my husband my leftovers.  I would find myself stressing about work during our time together or becoming anxious on the weekends trying to accomplish all my household tasks as quickly as I could before returning to work on Monday!  I can’t imagine how divided I would have felt if I had kids on top of that!

I understand that many women don’t have a choice and they need to work in order to help their families financially.  However some women work  as an outlet and to pursue their own interests and independence.  In these instances, I believe that these women should consider the sacrifice that they are causing their families to make and ask themselves if it is worth the time they are spending on their career.

Reason #4: I want to leave a legacy to my children of service not of self empowerment or self satisfaction

This reason ties into reason #3.  The feminist world applauds career women who are powerful and successful.  However, I wan to be successful in the eyes of God.  And I believe that means seeking His priorities for me and my family.  The world may never give any applause for anything I do.  But God sees, and He is the only one worth impressing.  It is important for me that my children see me living this out and that they learn this lesson as well.

Reason #5: I want to be readily available to my kids and not to miss out on special moments with them

This reason is pretty self explanatory!  The fact is, if I’m gone from the home the majority of the time with my mind focused on other things, I will miss important things!  My children will also learn that “mom is too busy”.  I don’t want to look back and know I could have prevented that.

What about you?  What are your reasons for being a homemaker, or why you would like to eventually be one in the future?  

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Get instant free access to my Finding Joy in Your Home video course.

  • Do you want to discover more joy, peace, & tranquility within your home?
  • Do you feel overwhelmed and like your house is out of control?
  • Join my free course and learn the essential habits for Christian homemakers
  1. Soooooo…..I married 5 months ago and I LOVE being a homemaker. I do work as does my husband, but being his wife and keeping the house and helping him is what brings me energy and excitement. I told a friend of mine once that I wanted to help and love my husband for the rest of my life and I do. Right now, I am helping him look for a new job and have a wonderful dream of having children and being their mom on top of a wife. It makes me happy! I know that it is an odd thing to say in the modern world, but I love being a wife, homemaker, and future mum!

    Thanks for the post <3 Happy Monday 🙂

    • I totally agree with the writer;)
      She really has a way of putting it. I love the way she eloquently describes our calling as women in such a gentle and non “offensive” manor. I so wish I could be at home and I am one of those women who needs to work to help pay the bills, but my plan is to be at home with my children when I am able. I can’t wait til I too can do this.

      <3

      • Thanks so much, Michelle! That really means a lot! I know your husband is already so blessed by you serving him! It’s not so much about if you are able to be home full time as it is about your heart, and I know your heart is totally for your home and helping your man! By working to help pay the bills now you are doing exactly what your husband needs you to be doing!

    • My husband and I are on the same boat, right now we set aside the goal to get out of debt, which means that in order to do that, both of us will need employment in order to get out of debt. Right now, my husband is looking for full time work so that he can be about to support the family while getting out of debt, while I am looking for part-time and/or work at home options (goal to have a writing career and at home business).

    • It’s so exciting to hear about your love and passion for serving your husband, Morgan! It’s also great to hear that even though you are working now, you are still viewing your primary role as being his help-meet! I am sure he is so blessed to have you for a wife!

  2. When I was ten years old my father left us and my mother was forced to go to work outside the home. I was always very much a mommy’s girl & still am. While losing my father changed my life forever, no doubt, but my mom having to go work & not being there after school was the hardest part. She worked hard to balance everything, but it was so hard for all of us. She was a stay at home mom at heart. I dreamed that I would be able to stay at home with my kids, and when my first born was 2 God provided for that dream. It has been a blessing for all of us. And needless to say, I was never bored! And it has been the most rewarding work imaginable. We are raising generations; the future! There is nothing more important!

  3. thank you for your Scripturally-supported post! i hope i don’t sound judgmental or like i’m perfect, because that’s not the case. however, this subject is very dear to my heart, & i can get a bit “worked up” talking about it. =/ my mother was a full-time homemaker, so i was blessed w/ a wonderful example. i so often think of things she taught me, & i have to wonder how differently my childhood & life would have been if she’d been employed outside the home. now i am a wife & full-time homemaker, hoping & praying to be a mommy someday as well. we live on a farm, so i help w/ that as needed, but i get the question frequently if i work outside the home. it seems as if people (including those from our own church) expect that, because we don’t have children, i don’t have enough to keep myself busy at home full-time; however, i try very diligently to support, help, & love my husband, & that means being a full-time homemaker, children or no children. not having a job also allows me to help & encourage others (mothers of young children, visiting elderly people, etc.). not being full-time homemakers is one area in which i feel many women are missing the mark, & to be honest, it scares & disheartens me! if they could only see the difference they would make in their own families & future generations by being completely present as a homemaker. yes, i know there are exceptions that a wife truly needs to work, but so often, it’s only necessary because they’re living above their means. i thank God that there is one more lady out there that realizes the value of being a homemaker. may God bless you as you continue to serve & support your husband & look forward to being a mommy & molder of a precious soul!

    • Thank you so much for your comment Joanna! And no, you don’t sound judgmental. I too grew up with a stay at home and it made such a wonderful impact on me as well! It’s so wonderful that you are already helping your husband and that your desire is to be at home! I completely agree that there are so many women who are working because they are living outside their means, however there are so many who are truly in binds and are forced to work when they would actually really like to be at home. I think it’s important to have grace for those women and not make them feel as though they are doing their family a disservice when they do not have a choice. I’m hoping my article got that across to those ladies! I know what you mean though, about being scared and disheartened about the ones that choose to work when they don’t need to! It really is so sad when women neglect the highly important ministry of the home! God bless you and your husband too! : )

  4. I really liked your biblical take on homemaking. I’m not married or a mother, but I often think about what it would be like to be a stay-at-home wife/mom. I never had that as a child because my mom had to work pretty much seven days a week to help support the family. She is a wonderful mother and did everything in her power to provide for our every need, physical and emotional, but I just always wanted to be able to spend more quality time with her. I’ve often gone back and forth over whether or not I want to be a working or stay-at-home wife/mother and my biggest worry is that I’ll feel like I’m “sponging” off of my husband or that I’m not adding financial value and support to my family. I also would hate the idea of having to ask my husband for money. But I suppose if my husband and I shared that goal of me being a homemaker that wouldn’t be an issue. Anyway, thank you for your insight. Your post gave me a lot to think (and pray) about.

    • Thank you so much Erin for your comment! I’m so glad that my post made you think! My mom, (Lauren Huss at livinglifewrite.com), grew up in a situation very similar to yours. Her dad left, and her mom had to go to work full time to support the family. It too, was hard on her growing up with her mom always working when she desired to spend more time with her. Unfortunately, some moms have no choice but to work outside the home! In my opinion, those moms should be praised just as much, if not even more because they are forced to be bearing the burden of both the care giver and the provider! Their hearts are for their family and circumstances dictate that in order to help that family they need to work. This is a huge responsibility and sacrifice many women have to make! However, the sad thing is that I think it’s more common that women are working when they don’t really need to be. They have husbands who could do a fine enough job providing on their own, but because of either the lifestyle they are convinced they need to maintain or because of selfish, personal goals/reasons they choose to spend time away from their homes and children. I think this is so sad, and people have no idea the impact that a having a wife/mother in the home can make! I hope and pray that if you ever do get married and have a family of your own and circumstances allow it, you choose to be home!

      I totally get your concern about sponging off your husband! It was a strange transition for me when I was no longer bringing in any income and my husband was the sole provider. I would sometimes worry and wonder if he felt like it was worth it for me to be staying at home. However, he has made it clear to me that this is his desire as well and what he wants for our family. It helps to have discussions with your husband and pray together so that you are both on the same page when it comes to issues like this. Staying home definitely does require sacrifice from both you and your husband, but it is so worth it in the long run!

      Blessings! : )

  5. I am not very religious, but I do prefer traditional gender roles. I am a homemaker, and I love it. It works very well for me and my husband I even though we do not have children at home any more. Unfortunately, when people find out I stay home they ask me the same questions you got – and you can tell they just think I am lazy! If a woman wants to have a career, good for her, but I don’t want one. I enjoy homemaking and being able to do everything during the day so the time my husband and I have together is not filled up with errands, cleaning, yardwork, etc. Unfortunately in the area I live in if you have no children at home and you choose to be a homemaker people tend it look down on you. I wish it was more accepted.

    • I agree Sherry! It is sad that many people tend to look down on women that stay at home full time and even think we’re lazy! That was one of my goals with this article to open people’s eyes up to the great significance of our work! Thank you for taking the time to read my article and I hope you tune in for part 2 next month!

      • Thanks Heather, I will look forward to part two. I think this is a great site, thank you for doing it! As I said I am not very religious, but I have run across a lot of Biblical and Christian Homemaker blogs and sites, and I agree with and applaud with your viewpoints. I admire young women like you that are trying to be the best homemakers, mothers and wives you can be. Keep up the good work!

  6. Thank you for this! I became a mom, wife, step mom, full time stay at home mom at 18… And now 6 years later it’s just great to have encouragement to not only keep going, but do better. I so needed to read this. I believe God doesn’t give you anything you cannot handle & he surely has gotten me through many things! By myself I can do nothing… Nothing good!

  7. It has taken me over a year to read this post, but it has encouraged me this day. I agree wholeheartedly and am proud to be a stay at home wife and mother. Don’t know how anyone can be bored at home. I’m inspired to write my own 10 reasons.

  8. What a well written piece, and so true. I have tried the whole working thing and felt exactly thesame. Now i only work on mon night, friday night and saturday morning. My husband is with our children then and there is peace and serenity in the house. Perfect

  9. This is wonderful. I often feel I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I absolutely love being a homemaker but I also love my profession. I complete my doctorate degree next year and although I plan on working until we have children it’s very difficult for me to manage the emotions. This post really helped me se that I really do want to leave my family a legacy that is mostly based on me being present in their lives and maker of our home.

    • It does help us shift our priorities, or at least make them a little clearer, when we think of long down the road! What is it that we will wish we had spent more time doing when we are on our death bed? Whether you work full time or stay home full time (or something in between), when you have kids, it really just boils down to making sure they are a priority and that you are focusing on raising them up!! 🙂

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