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10 Myths about getting married young

on April 22, 2014 by Jami Balmet 236 comments

My husband and I were married when I was 19 and he was 21. Now 3 1/2 years later we are expecting twin baby boys in December. I will have two babies when I’m 22. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. (Note: This post was originally published in November 2012.)

10 Myths about getting married young

The Lord is so good and Jason and I were able to find each other at a young age. While I know this doesn’t happen for everyone, it was God’s plan for us. But being so young comes with it’s difficulties. Do you know what the most difficult thing about getting married young is? The world’s reaction.

I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband and while we have the same struggles that all married couples do, we don’t struggle more. Except, that is, with how the world perceives us.

Take this article, for instance, that suggests marriage before 25 should be illegal. Our modern culture simply doesn’t understand why someone would get married so young (or have babies before 30 for that matter!). I was thinking about that this weekend and it led me to think of many “myths” of young marriage. We have encountered these as the world assumes these about our marriage. And I have heard from many of you who feel the same way.

10 Myths of Getting Married Young

1) We got married without our family’s support

Many people assume that we recklessly drove to the courthouse one day and got married without our family’s support. When we first got engaged and married we had many people ask us what our family felt about all of this.

We happily shared that both of our families were fully supportive, happy for us because they knew it was the right decision, and helped us with the most beautiful wedding I could have ever asked for.

2) It was a rash decision

Young marriage has this reputation that it was made out of a rash, un-thought out decision. When in reality, we had talked about it for a long time and had hours and hours of conversations. We studied what God’s word had to say about marriage. We talked about if we were spiritually mature enough to take this on. We asked other older and wiser Godly married couples what they thought. We evaluated what it would mean financially, and we talked for a long time about the right timing.

In the end God confirmed our decision and led us to the perfect wedding date: May 17th, 2009. I don’t doubt that some young married’s do rush into marriage without a lot of thought…but so do many 30 year old’s.

3) Our marriage won’t last a year

Now this wasn’t something that was said to our face. But we know the feeling is out there. You hear of a young couple, fresh out of high school or college, getting married and many assume that the marriage would be over by their 1st anniversary. And sadly, I have seen this happen. But it doesn’t have to characterize all young marriages and certainly wasn’t the case with ours.

4) We got married due to pregnancy

Oh this is the one that lurks at the back of everyone’s minds. Maybe she’s pregnant? When we first got engaged, I was attending a play at my brothers public high school. We ran into some parents of friends I had in high school (not Christians) and when my Mom told them I was engaged, they said very loudly “What are you pregnant??” Um. no. I wasn’t. It was very embarrassing but I also understand that to them they saw no other reason to get married at a young age. Thankfully this idea doesn’t last very long once you have been married for 9 months and no baby 😉

5) It will never last

I guess we can’t attest to this yet. But we have lasted 3 1/2 years and are still going strong. We have a firm commitment to Biblical principles, and divorce will never be an option for us. Death is what will separate us, and that will come in God’s timing. But at least with each passing year we can be a testimony to all those who doubt. You can read more young married stories and see the beautiful and lasting marriages that have been produced from these unions.

6) Our parents must have/still be supporting us financially

As we were approaching our first year anniversary, I had a coworker ask me this. She was probably 31 or 32 and had been married for about 4 years. We were just chatting about the fact that we were moving to another city nearby for my husband to be closer to his new job. And she asked me if our parents were paying for our bills. You see, my husband was just about to graduate college in a few weeks and I still had a year of college ahead of me. She assumed that our parents were paying for our rent, school, textbooks, etc. When in reality we were on our own for college from the very beginning. We worked and paid our way through school (with the help of some student loans).

But we were financially independent adults. No different than any other “adult” marriages…her question really took me off guard. Note: Our fabulous parents did help us out with the wedding and honeymoon and we are so thankful to them for that! They gave us a beautiful wedding!! 🙂

Our wonderful honeymoon in Hawaii

7) We will/do fight more than an older couple

We had so many people warn us that our first year would be terrible, hard, and that we would spend much of the time fighting until we worked things out. People expected that because of our age we wouldn’t be able to handle this new responsibility. But you know what? Our first year was amazing. Sure we had a few adjustments to make with living together. But really our first year was marital bliss. We were finally married and enjoying all that brings with it.

In many ways I think we had less to fight about than older couples getting married. We had never lived on our own before or had our own apartments (except for one year of college when we both lived on campus). We didn’t have our “own” money to spend as we like and get set in our independent ways. You can read more about how we grew together with money as a young couple.

8) We are not a “real” married couple

Some people (even within the church) acted like we were just “playing” married. People, such as my coworker, were surprised that we were financially independent of our parents. Still others were shocked to hear that my husband worked a full time job his senior year of college (going to school full time). They thought it strange that I was a college student, working, and yet I was married and talked about things like cooking dinner and cleaning my house instead of talking about parties and staying up until 3 am every night. People didn’t know what to make of two college students married…acting like adults. 

9) We will be lonely because no one else our age is married

Okay this one is partly true. When we first got married we knew no one else as young as us who were married (and we attended a Christian university BTW). And now as we are expecting our first babies, no one else our age is at this stage. But that’s okay. Most of our friends are older than us but at this same stage. Most of our friends are 26 to 30 and expecting their first baby. Our stages of life are the same and we have often found that the people our own age do not have the same mindset as us because they are in a different stage of life. That is fine, we still have wonderful friendships and connections! It’s okay if we are usually the youngest couple when we get together with friends.

Our Engagement Photos – I was 18 at the time and he was 20.

10) We are not ready for marriage

And this is it. Here is the biggest myth about young marriage. That because of our age, regardless of any other factors, we are not ready for marriage. The people who really knew us never questioned our readiness for marriage. They were not surprised by our engagement and wedding 7 months later. It was those who simply looked at our ages and judged us. They would look at our ages alone and assume we were not prepared for marriage. I wrote a lot about this here: Should Marriage Before 25 Be Illegal?

You can read more posts I have done about young marriage {It’s somewhat of a passion of mine}

Image courtesy of [savit keawtavee] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of [savit keawtavee] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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  1. Appreciate this post so much! My husband and I got married May 19th of this year. He was 22, and I was newly turned 20. So many people came to us with a lot of the same questions and concerns as you posted. And sometimes it got to be hurtful and embarrassing to hear. One person came to me and said people shouldn’t be allowed to get married unless they are 21 and allowed to drink. Not even sure how that correlates in the slightest, but her off-put reaction was really hard for me. Ultimately we knew this is what God wanted for us and, like you, couldn’t be happier. Nearly 6 months into our first year or marriage (and with some adjustments) we are feeling so very blessed [it is just so much fun to be married to your best friend!] 🙂

    Thanks again for sharing this-your blog is such an encouragement to me!

    • Rachel we went through the same thing! We couldn’t believe how some people reacted to our faces! They didn’t hide their reactions at all. They thought we were dumb, too young, and naive and they were not afraid to show it…even AFTER we were married. Thankfully we knew God’s plan for us and we are so thankful we never listened to them. The people who really knew us, knew that it was right for us! I’m so glad that 6 months in things are getting better. Before you know it years will go by and you will still be with your best friend 🙂

      • Hey Jami,
        I really was blessed by your article and so happy for you that you found your spouse at such a young age. Dont forget proverbs says remember the wife of your youth . If you had listened to those naysayers if you had gotten older they would have been the same people asking you why you are not married. God gave you to each other because he loved and favoured you and mmany other young couples. I was just on another Christian website and the amount of women (singles) and men that had been fed a lie to wait to marry, wait for Jesus to do a new work in your life and other christian sounding slogans that have gone into their 30’s ,40”s 50’s and still unmarried longing for a partner some very angry at God and beyond is quite sad to read. Blessings to you and yours.

    • I was married a few month after I turned 21 and we had a short engagement, many people including some family members thought maybe I was pregnant. I got so fed up with it, luckily my parents and my in laws married younger than us. I had a few issues adjusting to married life because I was young but I finally realized how blessed I was to find my husband early in life! Marriage is determined by God not your age!

  2. Thank you so much for this post. I was also young when I got married (barely 20) and my husband was only 24. We had a lot of people react to us in the same ways! I can say that we’ve been very happily married for almost 10 years at this point, have one baby, and have #2 on the way. We did choose to wait for awhile on kids, but that was because we were trying to pay off all of our school debt and save some money with me working so we could buy a house. I had so many people judge me and believe that I only married my husband because he pushed me into the decision or something crazy. It was totally not the case at all. We had been dating for 5 years, we prayerfully considered everything, and had our families full approval! So, I totally relate to this. 🙂

    • So great to see a young couple who has now been married for 10 years. What a great testimony you are now to those around you 🙂 That sounds very similar to our experience. Those that truly knew us, knew it was the right decision for us! Thanks for the encouragement Brandi!

  3. We got some of these too, even though we weren’t married as young as you and your husband (I was 22 and he was 26). I think a lot of it had to do with how quickly the process went for us – got engaged after 10 months of dating and were married 2 1/2 months after we got engaged, plus we got pregnant with our first son after being married only 3 months (which surprises most people to learn that he WAS planned). Even though everything seems very fast, it was all bathed in counsel from many, many people from our church who had a lot of influence in our lives. We constantly sought accountability for the purity of our relationship and the decision to get married was made after seeking much advice and lots of prayers. We asked ourselves from the very beginning, “Are we choosing marriage because we are attracted to this person or we want the comfort of a marriage or are we choosing marriage because we truly think we can glorify God better together than we can apart?” The answer was always the later and I think having that attitude still, even within marriage, is what has kept our marriage focused on Christ the most. Our purpose in marriage is not first and foremost because we like the other person or because we are attracted to them or even “compatible”, it’s to glorify God and we are continually praying that it remains our focus and motive behind everything.

    • Yes, I could see getting a lot of judgement from going “too” fast as well. It seems that new norm is to date for AT LEAST 5 years, be engaged for 1-2 years and then finally maybe get married around 29…anything else is just nuts! 😉 And AMEN! You said it s beautifully! Our chief end is to glorify God and that is what marriage is designed for as well. Thank you for sharing this today! You have encouraged me 🙂 I love meeting other like minded Christians!

  4. I love this! Although I do not feel we were all that young when we got married (I was 22, he was 27) we received much of the same reactions. I know the pregnancy one raised a few eyebrows as our sweet girl was born just 10 months after we married. But even though the world could not understand why I would want to be married “so” young, let alone a mother, I wouldn’t trade it for anything! These last 2 years of marriage and mommyhood have been such an incredible blessing!

    • Anna I’m sure you got a few raised eyebrows at having her only 10 months later. Lol some of our good friends got pregnant ON their honeymoon! But everyone who knew them well knew that they had waited. Sometimes we just have to put up with people thinking they “know” what is best for us…and then ignore them! 😉 I never felt all that young either until people kept reminding me of it lol. I’m 22 and expecting our first babies but I have also been married for 3 1/2 years. I often forget that the world thinks of me as a kid still at 22. Oh well, I know where I stand in the Lord! 🙂

  5. I think it’s wonderful that you were married young. My husband and I would have loved to have done that, but God, in His timing, did not bring us together until I was 29 and my husband 34. He asked me to marry him on our first date – he came for dinner with my family in our home. 🙂 Three months later we were married. One friend made a veiled comment that this wouldn’t work out. I don’t know how many others raised an eyebrow at how fast everything went. But we both knew for sure that God had brought us together. Less than a year later we had our first baby and now 15 years later we’re expecting our eighth. God has been so good to us giving us the desires of our heart. It never pays to listen to the critics when you know God is on your side. Looking forward to hearing of the safe arrival of your two little ones!

    • It’s all in God’s timing isn’t it? 🙂 What a sweet story!! I think the fast route probably gets just as much criticism as being young. But I think, when you know its the right person, you know. My husband and I knew we wanted to get married when I was still a senior in high school. But we waited because we knew people’s reactions would be crazy. Congratulations on the beautiful family that God has given to you! Trusting in God’s timing ALONE is the trick isn’t it? Thanks for the encouragement today! I loved hearing your story.

  6. This is so true! I was married at 21 to my husband who was 23, and almost two years later I’m a SAHM with our 7 month old son and life couldn’t be better. One of the many benefits of getting married early is that you can do so much growing TOGETHER, as opposed to apart. People who get married later, I think, may have a harder time adjusting because they’ve had years to establish their own lifestyle and habits. But while you’re young, you’re still figuring out how you want your life to be, so to create that with your spouse is even better. Also, I can’t overestimate how important it is to be married young because you have a WAY better chance of staying pure for your spouse. With the world in its state, temptations are everywhere. It’s not like they’ll all disappear when you get married, but the covenants you’ve made with your spouse will strengthen your resolve. 🙂 Love this list.

    • Oh Emily I SO agree! We completely have seen that in our marriage. We didn’t have established habits or bank accounts. We have learend how to save together (and what it means to blow all our money on stupid purchases). We have learned the excitement of going from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom and getting a washer and dryer IN our apartment. We are learning and growing TOGETHER and I wouldn’t have it any other way!!! We didn’t need to “grow up & mature” on our own…we needed each other to help us do that 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. 🙂

    • I’m not going to disrespect anyone’s marriage by saying it is wrong to get married young. I believe it’s different for everyone.

      But who says it’s better to grow together than grow up and then get married? Some of us need that time to grow into a person who is ready to be married, and then end up marrying someone who’s naturally compatible with us rather than getting used to each other due to “growing together.” And not everyone who gets married a little older has been around the block sexually. I’m a 29 year old virgin, for example – in a way, it’s kind of a copout to say you should get married young in order to avoid the temptations. I would say abstaining for a longer time makes you stronger, and it builds character more than getting married young just so you can start having sex young (I know that’s not why you got married, but I’m saying this just to make my point).

      However, I don’t agree with people who think that it’s okay to tell couples that their marriages are doomed to divorce for any reason, whether they are young, or have short courtships. For example, if I meet a man soon, and we know right away that we want to be together, I don’t feel I should have to wait two years to marry him just because society says so. I see nothing wrong with getting married young or getting married within a short time (less than six months) if YOU feel it’s right for you.

  7. Praise God for godly examples of marriage, and marriage at a young age. We went through this and still come across comments every now and then from our peers. But you know who encourages us and points to our example? My grandmothers generation, the ones who ate whole foods, crafted what they needed and when women still stayed home because it was a job worth working. We were married at 19 and 20, now 10 years later we are flourishing in our marriage and family, teaching others about family worship and discipleship. We need our generation to step up and lead families. Glad to see someone showing us how!

    • Candy that is the same with us!! It is our peers who think we are nuts. Our Grandparents generation think it’s perfectly normal to be married so young and are incredibly supportive. I agree and that is why I wrote this post. I think many people are afraid to stand up and be counter cultural especially when it comes to the older values of getting married young and staying home. People are afraid to stand up for those things anymore. That’s why I love the internet, I am able to connect with other like minded Christians 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement! I always love seeing the testimony of a young couple who is still together 10 years later 🙂

  8. Thanks so much for writing this! You know my story–I feel exactly the same way and have had almost all these experiences. 🙂 The bottom line for us was that we felt that getting married when we did–with me at almost-20 and him at age 21–was the best way to honor and glorify God. Almost a year and a half in, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  9. I loved this. It is true that a lot of younger marriages probably do not work out because of the maturity and priorities of the couple. I was married to my high school sweetheart at 21 (he was still 20, 😉 ) and now at 23 we have a happy, God-centered marriage and a 5 month old. It is really hard for me not to look at people my age that are just doing stupid things with their lives and tell them to grow up, but I know that me and my husband have definitely been blessed. Though young mommy friends are limited lol

  10. Thank you, thank you!!! Needed to read this. I have no regrets about getting married at 19, but I know many of our family members felt like we needed to wait. But, like you, we had thought extensively about it and prayed. We knew May 19, 2007 was the perfect timing. 5 1/2 years later, and we are still each others best friend.

  11. I was “old” when we were married, 23 and my husband was just shy of 23 (our parents were 18/19 and 20/25): We had been dating for 5.5 years, we were both done with college and it was time. Our families didn’t question it at all, but a lot of other people didn’t “get” why we were getting married “so young” {I felt OLD to be getting married}. I wouldn’t changed any of it, except getting married sooner.

    We still struggle with having friends: Most of my friends have only JUST gotten married and none of them have kids {and here we are with 4}! The end of this month will be 7 years we’ve been married, and soon after 13 years that we’ve been “together”.

  12. I would have LOVED to have been married at 20 or 22…but my Mr. Right from God hadn’t yet come along! We married when we were both 27, about 18 months after we started dating. Our children were born when I was 30 and 32, and where we live, most everyone was long finished adding to their family by those ages, LOL. But if we were in a larger city, I’m sure we would have been more the “norm” of people getting married.

  13. Stuff and nonsense, I say!

    I married my husband at the ripe old age of 20. My husband was 24. But we had been dating since I was 17! He waited patiently for me while I attended college. (Unfortunately, due to family issues, I didn’t finish.)

    While we don’t have any kids yet (Praying to God we get one soon! I’m getting “old” at 25!) we didn’t need any financial support from anyone. Hubby and I both had stable jobs by the time we were married. And hubby had spent the years before our marriage working to build up excellent credit, even on a middle-income job.

    We also hardly EVER fight. The only fight I can ever recall us having happened before we even got married!

    As to the loneliness thing, most of the other people in our church our age are married or engaged, so that’s NOT an issue! If anything else, we’re behind! We’re one of the only couples in our class WITHOUT children!

    Obviously, being childless, I didn’t get married due to pregnancy.

    It’s lasted 5 years and counting and we couldn’t be happier!

    And we were definitely ready for marriage. I was hubby’s first and only girlfriend. At one point in our relationship, I asked him if he felt like he was missing out because he hadn’t had more dating experience. He said, “Why would I keep looking when I found what I wanted the first time?” (AWWW!)

    So pish-tosh! Don’t let them down you for being married young! It just means you’ve got a better shot at being in the record books for longest-married couple! (lol. Just kidding… ok, not really)

    Enjoy your love, and your boys!

    • Hey Ashley! I know it’s quite a few years after you posted your comment, you probably don’t even remember posting it, lol. But just in case you still haven’t been able to conceive, have you heard of Natural Family Planning? The success rates are insanely high (for example, we have friends who have been trying for about 5 years, and only 2 months after they started NFP they succeeded!) Here’s a God-centered video explaining all about what it is 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87yKsPRE3WM

  14. I also got married young. My husband & I have the same birthdays so we got married on our birthdays. I turned 19 the day we married, he turned 24. We celebrated 14 years this year & almost 7 kids later (1 on the way). We’ve been through more than most people go through in a lifetime (including one of our children dying) but here we are by the grace of God when other’s said we wouldn’t be. Congrats on your twins, I too had twins for my 1st when I was 20 & loved the experience!

  15. By the way… anyone else remember when not being married by 25 was a sure sign you would be an old maid? My, how times have changed!

  16. I Love this. My husband and I will have been married for 13 years in December. I was 19 and he was 21 when we got married. We were so blessed to have amazing supportive family and friends but the comments still came, sometimes from people we knew and sometimes not. Even now that I am 31 I get constant comments. 🙂 We have 4 beautiful children now and every minute of our marriage has been so blessed but so many people just can not fathom the age I was married and the fact that I now have 4 children.

  17. We were married at 18 and 19 and we are coming up on our 19th anniversary. I can relate to nearly every word of this post and will be saving it to share with others. I was just speaking with a friend who is 40, has been divorced three times, and “got chills” when she heard our story. I agree, there are 18 year olds and 30 year olds that aren’t ready for marriage. May God be with those of us who have been married young AND those who weren’t 🙂

  18. I couldn’t agree more with #7! We got engaged when I was 20 and he was 21…and pretty much what people told us was “Congratulations! Marriage sucks.” Not so bluntly of course, but along those line — people talking about how hard it is, how much disillusionment will set in, how much we will fight, etc. Well we’ve been married for a year and half now and it has been nothing but a dream come true! I think the biggest thing with all these myths is that they are coming from the point of view of worldly marriages. For couples who are not firmly rooted in Christ, these myths probably ring true, unfortunately. Two couples my age who got married in 2010 have already gotten divorced, and they claimed to be Christians all along. But for couples truly building a marriage on the foundation of the cross, age shouldn’t matter in the slightest!

    • So true people who have worldly marriages will probably comment about how awful it is….God told me marriage is good and He created it for good…

  19. Great post Jami! Brandon and I got married when we were both 19. I think the strangest thing for us was #9, like you mentioned. We are now both 29 years old and just had baby number 5. Needless to say we do not have any other friends that are 29 with five children. The majority of our friends are, and always have been, older than us. We’re ok with that and appreciate the experience they bring to the friendship.

  20. I really enjoyed your article – and it rings true; from the “it’ll never last” comments, to being asked when the baby was due by guests at our reception. I was 19 (nearly 20) and he was 22 when we got married. Our marriage had troubles early on until we went through “premarital counseling” with the church and renewed our vows; then things smoothed out and we have gone forward together as one ever since… we’ve been married 22 years now; and to the people who thought we got married because we were expecting – our first child didn’t arrive until after our 13th wedding anniversary. My best advice to anyone thinking about getting married would be to first go through pre-marital counseling for six months with their church, and to actively engage in their faith as a couple. Another good thing to go through is financial peace university; you’ll learn from the start how to avoid debt and set yourselves up to succeed. You learn that you need to be on the same page and working together “as one” when you’re married.

  21. I love your posts on young marriage! My husband and I were both 21 when we got married and I laugh remembering a few times in the last couple of years when we got shocked looks when people would find out that we’ve been married for YEARS. I guess they thought we were newlyweds. We’ve been happily married for about 6 and a half years and we certainly weren’t very mature at the start, but the maturing of ourselves and our marriage has been an incredible experience. My brother- and sister-in-law have been married for 6 months longer than my husband and I and they’re three years younger than us! They’re still going strong and I bet they get weird looks and comments all the time.
    Would I have done anything differently? Maybe I would have started having kids sooner (we waited 5 years), but as to marrying ‘early’–I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

  22. Love, love, lose this post, Jami! Randy and I were exactly your ages when we for married– almost 32 years ago. First baby (just 1) at 22, and 2 more by 26. My parents did continue paying for my college, and they gifted us a couple of times (house purchases) because they wanted to and were able, not because we asked or needed it. Our daughters got married at 23 and 19. Excellent post!

  23. Hey Jami! Great post. I got married at 24, and I thought it was old. I was so ready to get married earlier than that. Now, 6+ years later, I still think about how I wish I had gotten married sooner. My husband and I had been dating since I was 19 and we knew we wanted to get married, but I wasn’t finished with school. I’m sure I could have done both – be married and be in college – but my husband didn’t feel the same way.

    Anyways, I really enjoyed reading this. I did have one question though – do you think there is an age that is too young for marriage? I work with a lot of students from other cultures, and I know some families who have had their daughters married off and sent back to their native country to be married well before 18. Those situations make me uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, and I’d be curious about your opinion.

    PS – it was great to sit with you at dinner the last night of Allume. I hope you’re doing well and not too uncomfortable. 🙂

  24. I think you forgot the most important “misconception”. Most people who get married young, especially religious people, do so in order to have sex. I’m a Christian but even i believe this is true of young married couples.

  25. My husband and I were married at eighteen years old. I know exactly what you mean about the myths of marrying young. We have been together for 20 years and married for 18. We are unable to have children, but were tested against all the myths you mention for the first few years of marriage. Congrats to you on your happy life with your husband and on the two little miracles God has blessed you both with!!!

  26. Thanks so much for this!!! I have a passion for this topic, and have spent a good deal of time with young couples.

    Yes, a lot of young marriages are a disaster, because they should never have happened in the first place. HOWEVER, when a young couple is mature and willing to do what any couple needs to do, the results are amazing. Some of the best marriages I know are those now in their thirties who married in their late teens or very early 20’s. They have strong marriage, great kids, and bright futures. They will be done raising their kids in their early 40’s, and will have grandchildren while they have the energy to be a part of their lives.

    Young marriage was the norm for most of history, and the societal problems we all moan about have grown worse as the age of marriage has gone up. I think there is a connection.

  27. My husband and I were young when we got married. I was a just turned 20 year old and my husband was 21 almost 22 when we got married. My aunt asked me if I was pregnant when we announced we were getting married. We were engaged in December and married the end of March. I was not pregnant and was very annoyed with her. Three months later we were expecting and although we’d decided we’d wait at least 2 years, we were THRILLED, 4 days after our 1st anniversary we became parents to the most beautiful little girl that ever graced this earth. (A year later she was dx with leukemia and a year after that she went home to Heaven, and the Lord has blessed us 5 more times since then with a growing family)….15 1/2 years later we’re still together, going strong, an ARMY family that’s moved multiple times, buried a child, went through 5 deployments, and preparing for military retirement.

    When you seek Christ to be the center of your marriage, honor, love, and respect….the Lord will guide your marriage. You’ll have bumps in the road, which can allow you to grow stronger or can throw you off track, it all depends on how one reacts.

    I’m thankful that I married young and become a mother young. I’m 35 and have been married for nearly my entire adulthood and I’m so thankful.

  28. Thanks so much for clearing these myths up! My husband was 19 and I had just turned 18 when we got married….33 years ago! We have always supported ourselves and raised two children, now 28 & 30 with spouses and kiddos of their own! While we’ve had a few rocky seasons in our married life, but nothing major. And once we both gave our hearts to Christ, it’s been totally awesome! As a matter of fact, we teach a married couples class and do a lot of marriage counseling. We can both look back and see God’s hand on our lives and His divine intervention in our marriage, even before we met. Again, many thanks for the encouraging words & testimonies!

  29. I’m 37 and have just been married three years. I so appreicated this post. People judge you no matter what age you are when you get married. If it’s not your age, they find something else to judge. The important thing is seeking God’s will. Blessings on your marriage and your twins!

  30. My husband and I married at the ages of 20 and 23. We have been married 14 years now and have 3 children (one is about to turn 13 in a couple months, yikes).I think marrying young is a good thing but its one of those things that it really just depends on the maturity of the two people involved. Just a personal opinion but if people would not frown on the idea so much and not try to talk younger adults out of getting married their would probably be a lot less promiscuity in young adults. Just my opinion though.

  31. My wonderful husband and I got married when I was 22 and he 24. I can tell you after 21+ years of marriage and 4 beautiful children, this was one of the best things I have ever done! I wholeheartedly support young marriages (as long as they can support each other, especially financially and not rely on the parents to take care of them), and frequently tell young couples to have their children while they’re still young enough to keep up with them! 😉 Best wishes for a safe and healthy delivery of your precious bundles of joy! It’s so absolutely worth it! 🙂

  32. Thank you so much for writing this! Your story is almost exactly like mine, I was 19, and my husband 21. He graduated college a month before we got married, and then we moved across the country for his new job. I’ve finished school (something other people never thought would happen after I got married) and we’ve supported ourselves the entire time. I’ve definitely dealt with all of these misconceptions! No one who really knew us was surprised that we were getting married. At least, no one’s ever asked if I was pregnant to my face!

    It can be lonely at times, when my friends are just now getting married and we’re thinking about kids, and all of our married friends are quite a bit older. But, some of our best friends are couples with kids! It’s nice to be able to relate to a wide age group.

    We were also told that the first year is the hardest, and it definitely wasn’t hard, at all. I TOTALLY agree with what you said about how being married young actually makes it easier to adjust to marriage! Financially it was easier because we hadn’t lived on our own for all that long, and it wasn’t as hard to adjust to each other either.

    Again, thank you for writing this! It’s so encouraging 🙂

  33. I was nineteen and my husband was eighteen when we married. We faced the same myths you wrote about and that was thirty years ago! My husband was a private in the army. We had planned to wait three years to get married. I was going to finish college and he was going to stay in for only three years. After six months, we couldn’t stand being separated (still can’t). Age should not be a deciding factor but rather the maturity of the couple. I think that might be the reason pastors, for the most part, will not marry a couple without counseling. So, after thirty years married, twenty years in the army, two children (boy – 25, girl – 21 – neither one married!), I would not change a thing! Both of our children serve in our church and are waiting for ‘the one’ God has for them. That is what is most important!

    • Wow! I’m surprised you faced these 30 years ago. It was more “acceptable” back then but I guess the world will never understand.

      I agree! It’s way more about maturity than age!! How wonderful to hear your story and testimony!

  34. yep, i was there too. i was 19, he was 23. we started dating the weekend i graduated high school {june ’99} , got engaged March of 2000 and married aug. 2000. we had our first son in july of 2001..barely made it past the “hmmmmm” stage;) we now have 4 kids i had one at 20, 23, 25, and 27. we have been married over 12 years, which seems weird to say when i am not quite 32 yet! i think those that truly knew me where not concerned in the least because they knew my faith and maturity, however at work i was constantly having clients who thought i was insane. keep on keepin’ on. it is NOT all sunshine and roses, but i think knowing that is part of why we make it through. blessings,

    • That was the same with us! Those who actually knew us, knew it was a good decision and that we were mature enough. It would people who only knew our age that thought we were making a mistake! Thanks for sharing Mandy 🙂

  35. Great post! My husband was 19 and I was 20 when we got married in 2008. We’ll be 25 this year, and will have been married for 5 years, during which time we have had 2 kids (with number 3 on the way!) and bought a house. There was quite a bit of speculation when we got engaged and married, but we have since been able to encourage others who have considered marrying young. My sister followed suit and got married last year at 21, and is as happy as ever. We wouldn’t have it any other way!

    The one point that resonates with us is the “no friends”. I don’t feel like marriage, but rather having kids is what makes this one hard. Married couples can still hang out with their unmarried friends, but once you have a baby that becomes a challenge. Our group of friends has changed, but we just try to find ways to spend time with our single/childless friends. Having them to our house is one that makes things easy!

  36. This is awesome! I was 21 and my husband was 27 when we were married, and we got a lot of flack for marrying young. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, don’t you want the rest of your life to spend with them?

  37. I love this post (I even shared it on facebook). I love that with a little tweaking, I could have written this! While my husband and I didn’t meet at a grocery store, we worked at the same one, though at different times (Fareway!). We got married when I was 18 and he was 19 after having dated for 3 years. We had our first baby when I was 20, our second when I was 22, and we just had our third and I’m 24. We’ve been married for almost 6.5 years now. While the judging stares that I get are very annoying (no, I’m not 14, yes, I’m married, and yes, all 3 of these children are mine) I wouldn’t do it any other way. 🙂

  38. My husband was 21 and I was 22 and we were “old” in our area. For our faith (LDS) it’s pretty typical to marry at the age you were. I never really thought about it. All the myths you mentioned are definitely out there and it is sad that marriage is seen as something awful and hard. Sure it has challenges but life does no matter what! I am glad to see others choosing marriage at young ages! My hubby and I have been happily married for 15 years and have 6 kids under the age of 10 and we are so glad God sent us each other! I enjoy your blog!

  39. Love this! Can totally relate to point number 9. I was 20, he was 25 when we married. Our first baby was born 9 months after we were married!! so we really jumped the gun on our friends there. Even though over the next couple of years they married too we were already way ahead of them.
    I was a tiny delicate sized thing back then too so I would have looked ridiculous with a big rock of an engagement ring – subsequently people would look surprised when i mentioned my fiance. All my life people have thought I was younger than I was and I mostly took it in my stride and found the humour in it. But when folk just assumed that little diamond ring on my finger wasn’t an engagement ring it really got to me. It didn’t change when we added a wedding band either. On our second anniversary he gave me a third ring to make the set a bit bigger (and cause he loves me 🙂 ) and the only comment I’ve had since was an elderly lady say that she thought I looked too young to be married. Ha! well at least she recognised I was!! anyways, loved the post – I hope it encourages those who need it and helps others think a bit before they speak.
    bless you heaps, Lizzy 🙂

    • Haha yes, we are way ahead of most of our friends too…and we have been married for 3 1/2 years before having our first baby! 😉

      We were in college at the time and had some savings to buy a bigger ring but we decided that that savings was better used for other things…so I totally can relate! Even when I had two rings on people didn’t realize that meant I was married LOL!!

  40. Very well written post, and I had also experienced some of the same reactions. I was married to my first husband when I was 20 and he was 22. We had a wonderful 5 1/2 years of marriage together before he was killed in a car accident. I’m so happy we married young and had the time we did together.

    I also wanted to say congrats on the twins. I have identical twin boys who are 17 months old. They’re so wonderfully delightful!

    • Thank you for sharing that Trisha! I often thank the Lord just for the last 3 1/2 years and am so happy that we came together so young!

      Thank you! We can’t wait to meet our boys 🙂

  41. This is a really dangerous message to send to young women. After you have been married for over 20 years, raised 3 children, you finish college, have a successful career and if you are still married then write about it.
    My parents got married at 19 years old, 22 years later they are still married, happy, and doing very good financially. My mom has told me it was by the grace of God for them to be so blessed, she would never change it for anything but it was very hard at first. She would NEVER recommend getting married that young to anyone. If God puts your future husband in your life at a young age, that’s great, be together, be YOUNG together. Go to college, live in a dorm, have roommates, become involved with young women’s ministries, go on a mission trip. Don’t miss out on life experiences because you have to go home to a husband. There are so many special moments we have as young adults. You’ll never get your early twenties back but you have the rest of your life to be married. Maybe because you are still so young yourself you do not understand. Maybe you won’t realize it until your children are young adults and going off to college, but 99% of the time getting married that is not a good thing. And it’s NOT a good message to send to young girls. I’m taking a Christian family/marriage class in graduate school, here are the facts:
    According to a 2011 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 48 percent of those who marry before 18 are more likely to divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of those who marry after age 25. “Making it as a family requires some characteristics that come with maturity, such as selflessness, stability and self-control. It’s best to wait for their arrival,” wrote James C. Dobson, Ph.D
    This is heartbreaking, and not what God wants.
    I’m sorry if I come off as harsh, I really do hope you are as blessed as my mom with a wonderful happy marriage. If it hasn’t been hard yet, it will get there, but if your marriage actually lasts then you will have any amazing story. Best of luck!

    • I married at 18 two months after graduating high school. My husband and I paid the wedding and honeymoon cost (wasn’t anything fancy because we didn’t get married for the party.)
      I don’t feel like I’m missing out on the stereotypical young twenties. I’m an introvert and always have been; It’s not me to live with a bunch of roommates and I don’t particularly like traveling. I see what many of my peers are doing with their single young lives and I want no part of it. If you mother regrets the things she missed out on then I’m sorry but it’s wrong to apply her regrets to the rest of people’s marriages. My husband and I have a beautiful toddler and we’re active in our church. I’m also active in my college activities so it’s not like we don’t have a life outside of marriage. I think if we had waited to get married then we would have regretted the waiting.
      This article isn’t to encourage young people who weren’t going to marry to go out there and get a spouse while they’re still young, the article is here for support for the young women who did marry young and hear these hurtful/rude comments on a regular basis. It’s nice to know that there’s other who sympathize and know what you’re going through.
      And I hope that 99% is an exaggeration.

  42. What about the ‘myth’ that conservative Christians get married young because they just want to have sex – Oh right! It’s not included in this because it’s not a myth!
    Why are all your comments only positive? This tells me you delete comments that differ from your worldview: worrying, to say the least.

    • Hi Tanya,

      Thank you for commenting. Actually, I am just as surprised as you! I thought I would get more negative comments as well. I did get one lengthy negative response yesterday. I haven’t approved it yet simply because she asks a lot of questions and I want to have a very thought out response 🙂

      And I guess I should address this myth in another post. This is not one that we often received so I didn’t think to put it on this list. I do disagree however that Christians just get married to have sex. Yes, my husband and I waited until marriage and have always had a wonderful sex life. And we are so thankful that we waited and followed God’s design for marriage. But that is not the reason we got married.

      We got married because we were (and still are) deeply in love. We talked to many older couples in our church and those who knew us well and they agreed that we were compatible. We went through pre-marital counseling and made sure we knew what we were getting into. Yes, we were young but we went about the decision in the same way a 30 year old would. We knew we were meant to be together and 3 1/2 years later we are even more sure of that! Divorce will never be an option for us and we are firmly committed to each other. This doesn’t change simply because we waited until marriage for sex – that just made things better 🙂

      I understand that to some this can seem strange but for us, it was the perfect decision 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and sharing your opinion. I will have to do a blog post addressing this topic.

      • Thanks for the reply Jami,

        I can totally get that a mature 19 year old like yourself can get married young, for the right reasons, and be able to deal with all the pressures of a grownup world: which I think is very commendable that you were both financially independant and so on.
        I think age has less to do with it, than maturity. I know without a doubt that if I had got married at 19 I would be divorced or incredibly unhappy by now, 10 years later. I think many teenagers tend towards being idealistic, and very easily influenced: It is such a tricky age of transitions, and growing up. And I think that often Christians – from my experience, do sometimes get married for sex OR for other wrong reasons. Although I know noone will admit to it, ever, – but it is a plus for a couple that don’t believe in premarital sex, and it makes sense to many – why date for ages, when we love eachother and could just get married now? And even if it is really not just about sex, I think all these pressures can and often do lead to premature marriages. If a Christan couple could feel less pressure to commit the whole time, and to stay ‘pure’ then I think there would be more of an option to take things slower. I knew my whole life I didnt want to get married young, I left home, studied, travelled, and in a few short years I felt like i was a completely different person. I would have married the totally wrong person at 18!

        I think that many couples – young and old – make the mistake of getting married for the wrong reasons, and when you are really young it is very hard to differentiate between your own ideas, and other peoples ideas and influences over you. Again, someone who is getting ‘old’ also feels other pressures, and also may get married for the wrong reasons.

        There is so much to this subject, and I often look at people who marry young, and know that I think they should have waited. It must be fun, in a way, if you’re in the right marriage to grow up with your spouse, and learn and change with them. And in no way am I saying that one shouldn’t get married young. But I have found the experience, growth, and changes I have been through as a single-sometimes attached woman have been so valuable and absolutely priceless for my growth. I got to grow up and realise who I was independant from my family or spouse, go out into the world, and decide myself my own opinions and belief systems and not go straight from family to husband. But then I think I have a different idea of what a biblical marriage is, for my marriage alone. And I will admit, the older you get married the more set you are in your ways and how you like things done – so it’s harder to learn to live with someone after that!

        All in all I think that it all depends on a person, a relationship, and a marriage and not an age. Each person is different, and the reason that people freak out so much at young marriages is because generally one knows that with age comes maturity, and someone who is very young is less likely to be as mature as they should be to go into marriage – but some are, I can admit.

    • Jami is totally right, and I can testify to this! Hubby and I didn’t get married purely for the sex either. Actually, our first 2 years of marriage didn’t have much physical intimacy at all because immediately after the wedding we were living with my grandmother! She was dying of cancer, and we both promised we would take care of her the rest of her life because she had raised me since I was 4, and she had been a spiritual counselor of sorts to my husband while I was away at college. She mentored him every single day in aspects of faith, on how to manage a household, on how to set a budget, basically, everything he would need to know to be a Godly husband and father.

      Do you know how awkward it is to be physically intimate with your grandmother in the house?! And it wasn’t just her, either! My dad and brother lived there, too! The reason we were her main caregivers was because my brother was still in school and my dad… well, to be frank, he was on drugs. It’s not something I’m proud to admit, but it is the truth. He was simply too strung out to be much help. You try getting all romantic with a living situation like that!

      Since hubs and I were both raised by our grandparents, we were both much more mature than our similarly-aged friends. It just comes with the environment you’re raised in, I guess. We knew that we were supposed to be married for quite a long time before we actually said “I do”. After the wedding, well, the romance was always there, but didn’t really kick into high gear until grandma passed away and we moved out on our own, about 6 months after our second anniversary. We’ve been on our own for about 2 1/2 years now, and are just as in love as ever!

      • Wow Ashley! What an amazing woman and how wonderful that you were able to be here for her when she needed you!! That does sound like a really hard situation to be intimate!! Whew!

        Thank you for sharing your story! How wonderful to hear that your love is still going strong 🙂

        • Glad to share. And I dunno about amazing. I just rolled up my sleeves and did what needed to be done. She took care of me my whole life. How could I not care for her the last years of hers?

          I actually submitted my story to you for the Young Wife stories series. It’s about how Keith and I met. Hope you enjoy it!

          And I can’t wait to see your babies once they’re born! SO exciting!

          • How wonderful! I’m sure she was blessed to have you guys take care of her. I got the email a little while ago. I’ll read it when I have some time! I can’t wait 😀

        • Just realized when you said “amazing woman” you were talking about my grandmother, lol! That’s what I get for multitasking, I suppose!

          Yes, she was an awesome woman and a great servant for Christ after she got converted, which wasn’t actually until the mid-1970s when she was already middle-aged, but still! I only wish she were still here. There were so many things she had left to teach me that I’m having to figure out for myself now. But I know that she’s partying with Jesus, and I wouldn’t wish her away from that. 🙂 I’ll see her again some day.

  43. Thank you for sharing your story 🙂 I was 19 and my hubby was 21 when we tied the knot.. It will be 9 and 1/2 years on thurs. We have 3 beautiful kids, ages 6, 5 and 2. It hasn’t always been easy but God has been with us every step of the way (even when others were not). Continue to trust the Father and share your beautiful story!

  44. This was a wonderful article to read. My husband and I will be married 7 years in February and we got married when I was 18 and he was 20 and we wouldn’t change a thing. We were very blessed to have the support of our whole church when we got married so I personally didn’t have these things said to me directly except by a few people outside the church who didn’t understand.

  45. Interesting article, I can relate to a lot! We were married at 19 and 24 years old…and 4 children later, are coming up to our 19th anniversary! I know nowadays I look around, and at my own kids and think, 19=yikes, so young!! But I know that it was right for us. Yes, there are things that you “sacrifice” like the “self-discovery” time and travelling, but there are also many benefits that others have mentioned, the growing up together, being each other’s first and only true love, sharing from the beginning, working and studying, college and all…first apartment, etc. I know that it’s not for everyone and I think that you both need to have conviction from God that this is the right path for you both, and probably your family’s blessing, but most of all God’s blessing. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have waited, but I always come back to the idea that that was the best for us and that that’s the way it had to be. Definitely not recommended for everyone! 🙂 It is about maturity, looking for God’s leading and the decision that this is a life-long commitment.

  46. Just found your blog, i married at 18 ( met my husband when i was 16) my husband was 21, we have been happily married for 31 years, yes we have had our ups and downs, but the deep frienship and love we have for each other has helped us through, we didnt have our first baby till i was 23. We are both strong christians and i believe that has helped our marriage. When we married many said it wouldnt last we had very little support other than parents, my husband did ask my fathers permission, we both had good jobs and brought our own home, furnished with lots of second hand things, i had no washing machine etc but we were together and thats all that mattered, we took our time to get to know each other, we always speak about how we feel, i dont play games with his feelings, we are always honest and trust eachother, now we both know how we feel about things so makes that so much easier, good communication is the key, and know matter how many years you have to care about eachother as if youve only been married a year keep things fresh, be thoughtful and even if the baby has kept you up all night, your husband needs you too. I wouldnt change a thing.
    God bless sue

  47. Hello, THANK YOU! THAMK YOU! THANK YOU for this post. I got married when my husband & I were both 18, Dec 29 2008. We had and still have both of our families support. Everyone else (society) told us we were crazy & ridiculous. Crazy thing is I got pregnant with my son on our honeymoon night. My son will soon be a big brother in June 2013. People told us we wouldn’t last a year and here we are celebrating our fourth year of marriage. All of these are just as you stated myths. Some people just dont have the amount of faith that others do in true love & marriages. Im so glad, I found your blog. Many blessings on your marriage & your boys.

    • I am SO glad that you enjoyed this post!! It makes all the long hours of writing worth it 🙂 We were the same way. Our family 100% supported us and knew it was the right decision but other people are the ones who had problems with it. They didn’t hide their disdain about us getting married young and it was so discouraging! We praise the Lord that our family was so supportive 🙂

      Congrats on baby #2!! 🙂 It is a wonderful thing now 4 years later to be a great testimony to all of those who thought you were nuts. And over the next 10, 20, and 50 years you can continue to be that wonderful testimony 🙂 I’m so glad that you stopped by!

  48. Hello. Thank you so much for your blog and these posts. I am young and in a courtship. We getting to know each other while around others (and no contact). We have all intentions to get married and we are now working through our second Bible study together. He is working to establish his own business while working with another company. We have a plan as long as the Lord continues to bless us and help us. I plan to graduate this year and we will most likely marry young. Your posts are such an encouragement because as both our families(as well as some couples at our church) are supportive and encouraging of us and know we will marry young,but like you said, it’s the reaction of people and their rude comments/thoughts. I am thankful we met when we did and I will enjoy being married to him whatever age I am.I will be 17 this summer and he is 20. We try hard to honor God with our lives and we feel he is blessed us very much so! I feel there are many blessings in being married young over being older. DId you do a post on that?

    • I am so glad that you found your way here 🙂 How wonderful to be in this phase of courtship! It is a wonderful and exciting time 😀 Getting married young {when you are following God’s timing and direction} is such a BLESSING! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise 🙂 I did write a post on Growing Together as a Young Couple when it comes to money and Growing together as a Young Couple when it comes to Habits.

  49. Jami Leigh,

    Thank you so much for sharing this. My fiance and I have been engaged for one year, and are so looking forward to being married. When he asked me to marry him (and my father’s permission), we were both nineteen. We couldn’t wait to share our happiness at God’s plan and timing for us, but were met with many cold reactions and comments, even from some people in our church, although we are blessed to have our family’s support. We are facing many of the prejudices you mentioned, especially the one regarding money. No-one I know believes that we can be financially independent as a married couple while still at university, and so we are planning our wedding for 2015. We know however, that God will continue to bless us with patience as we anticipate glorifying Him through our wedding and marriage.

    • I am so glad that you enjoyed it Rebecca! 🙂 We were shocked that we got negative comments and reactions from people within our church! We thought of all places they should be able to recognize this was God’s plan for us! But the world is really changing and this has seeped into the church. Enjoy this time know still getting to know each other better and anticipating what marriage will be like! It WILL be here before you know it. Congrats!! 🙂

  50. I’m so glad that I found your website! I’ve been thinking about blogging about being a young wife, and was thinking in terms of something very similar to your website. I got married the month before my 19th birthday, and my husband was 23. We’re now 20 and 25. He’s graduated, but I’m still in college. And being married young has definitely been a lonely experience for us! Everybody I meet believes most (if not all) of these myths, and I usually hear, “Why on earth did you get married so young? I would never do that!” The problem is that with people who have been married a year or two, they are often on their way to children, or are young professionals, several years out of college, so we have very little in common. And most of the church college programs are geared toward singles. We are waiting to find friends in our new-ish town (we’ve lived here for a year now), and for now it’s so reassuring to find that there ARE other young married people out there! Thanks for writing!

    • Hi Anna,

      I am so glad you found your way here as well!! 🙂 You should start a blog! It can be a wonderful way to connect with other women, I have made so many friends. Oh we have been there as well. We were both married in college and the college group at our church was all singles and people in VERY different stages of life than us. But then most newlyweds were much older than us and many were starting families and we were not there yet either. And now that we are having our first babies, those that are at the same stage as us are much older! But that’s okay. We have enjoyed these added years together 🙂

  51. Love your post! We were married at 19 and 20 (hubby turned 21 the next month). We had been high school sweethearts, so we had dated for quite some time before that (and then were engaged for a little over a year). We had our first child when I was 22, then one at 24, and another at 27. We have been married for 16 1/2 years and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

    Thanks for sharing your post – really fabulous! 🙂

  52. I know the feeling.. my husband and I got married when we were both 19, we were high school sweat hearts. We got engaged in April 2005 and were married by that July. People are cruel.. my husband ended up waiting a for months before proposing because of the criticism we were getting and people trying to scare us out of it. We will be celebrating our 8 year anniversary this July. And we also had children early, we had 2 children at age 22 and 3 kiddos by the age of 24.. I’ll turn 27 this year and really love that we started our family young.

  53. I can relate to almost every word you wrote! We were 20 and barely 21 when we got married (May 17th 2008!) And we had our first before we were done with school! We new some married couples our age but the ones with kids were always a bit older. Most of my friends now at the same stage of life are older and even a decade plus older. I know how blessed we are to have met at such a young age 🙂 We have two kids (and she Number 3 is on the way!) and we wouldn’t have it any other way! We have always been financially independent, and many people don’t understand how… We worked our way through full time school and always made it work. We have accomplished a lot already: baby in college, moved across the country right after graduation for an amazing job, baby #2, bought a house, got a dog – hehe- and have advanced my hubby’s career in unfathomable ways. We have a lot in store this coming year, and our family jokes we always live at warp speed and pack a lot of life in a little time 😉 God has great plans for everyone, and we have chosen to live for Him and enjoy the blessing He has given us! 😉 I truly love spending each and every day with my best friend! <3

  54. I was 18 and my husband was 21 when we were married. This April we celebrate 25 years married. I love my husband more today than I ever have. We have had our fair share of difficult days, however, I would not give one of them up for a divorce. God + commitment = til death do us part.

  55. I’m so glad to read that there are others who think like me. I’m 20 and I talk about getting married and having kids all of the time and people just think I’m nuts even a lot of my family members say I’m too young. I feel like I’ve gone through a lot in my life and have had to grow up faster than everyone realizes. I have grown up with a very close family that has had several kids and I see what a successful marriage and what having kids requires I’m not fantasizing as some people have said to me. I feel like I’m ready to get on with my life and have a lifelong partner and start my own family and everything having a family entails. My family doesnt understand why i would want to get married before im 30. Unfortunately god hasnt revealed the right guy yet. But I am so happy to learn about all of your successful marriages that started young they are really inspiring.

  56. Hey! I love hearing other people’s love stories! I married a month after I turned 19 and my hubby was 19 also. We just celebrated 11 years december 2012!!! Our marriage is not perfect, no one’s is, but we have grown together and now have three awesome little kids! Keep on praying and growing together and your marriage will be totally wonderful!! God Bless!

  57. Wow. I am no longer “young and married”, but I am still married! LOL! This post spoke to me. My husband and I became engaged only 6 months after graduating high school together. We were married two months after I turned 20 and my husband was 20. We couldn’t legally toast with champagne at our wedding. We weren’t old enough to rent a car if we flew somewhere for a honeymoon. We couldn’t go on a cruise for our honeymoon b/c you had to be 25. (Though one agency was kind enough to offer that we could legally go on a Spring Break cruise. ‘Cause that sounds like a great Honeymoon idea!?!)

    I actually got turned away from one formal dress business b/c they wouldn’t let me try on dresses due to my age. (They assumed I was just playing around.)

    A woman who had taught me Sunday school from the time I was in firth grade actually said that she wasn’t going to get me a wedding present. She said she’d buy one if we made it to our two-year anniversary.

    People were floored b/c my husband was only the second guy I’d ever dated. (I am very practical and saw no use for dating, outside of seeking a potential husband, and wouldn’t date someone I wouldn’t consider “husband material”.)

    The good news is: We have now been married 13.5 years and have four wonderful children. (The fourth was born the year I turned 30…so I also understand the “having kids young” thing.)

    Thank you for sharing.


  58. This post made me laugh because a lot…..if not all these assumptions and rumors were spread. We did not meet each other to begin with. It was our parents….actually my mother that insisted we meet. Our families were planning the wedding. Because we eloped my family assumed I was pregnant and even discussed it among themselves, lol. It wasn’t until 16+ months after we got married did we welcome our first into the world. And there was no doubt I was never pregnant because after our marriage I dipped in weight due to his absence in Iraq. People would ask me how I was enjoying married life and playing house and I would laugh and say, “I have no idea. He’s been gone the first 7 months of our marriage!” I will say there was no loneliness because we were the only married couple our age. It became lonely when we had been married two years and we had our six month old and I was seven months along with our second. Having kids 10 months apart and being a young married couple is hard. Other couples are still enjoying the “honeymoon” phases of their marriages before kids…..or so I’ve heard it called.
    As for parents supporting financially. I do NOT get that one???? My parents taught us to hate debt. When we married, I was starting my sophomore year of college with $5,000 in savings from summer jobs and working full time during college. By the time our first year of marriage was upon us, I was four months pregnant, we were renting, and we had no debts. By the time our second year of marriage was upon us, we had a beautiful 8 month baby, I was 9 months along, we had two vehicles we owned, we had no debts, $10,000 in savings and buying our first starter home. My only regret comes to buying the house. I wish we would have continued to save and just bought the house outright! I hate any kind of debt and the mortgage is weighing heavy on my mind from the day we signed it.

  59. I can say that what you say is true. I met my husband, Matt, 24 years ago this month. I was two months away from 16 and he was 2 months away from 17. We started dating and we were crazy about each other. We were a young Christian couple who wanted to do things right according to the Bible. So we decided pretty quickly that we wanted to be together as soon as I graduated in 1991. We did have most of our family supporting us. We had a beautiful wedding. We did not have our first child until I was 26 years old. We have two children a daughter almost 14 and a son almost 10. We have been married almost 22 years and there is not a day that goes by that I would regret my decision. He is my best friend and we are still crazy about each other. Life is hard and things get tough sometimes but there is no one on this planet that I would want to be with more then him. Now my kids see this…know our story and it would not surprise me if one of them follows the same path. It is not an easy one but it can be very rewarding! We grew up together, we have memories others do not have. I am proud of it! It is hard not to be!

  60. Your website is truely blessed. I randomly decided to google “married, young and successful” just to see if there were people out there married young and happy just like me and my husband. Before stumbling across your website I found multiple pages of people critizing young marriages, some even went as far as to say that you will end up in a divorce! Some said you don’t even know who you are yet and will be a different person between 21-40. My response to that statement is, yes, I will grow and develope as I move through life, but does that mean I have to wait until I’m 40 to get married? Absolutely not, the best relationships work because the couple grows and developes together and that strengthens their bond. I’m not niave to the fact that that can cause people to grow apart, but if you marry the right person, being led by GOD first and foremost then you will change and grow together becoming even stronger and falling more in love. I can astest because I speak from personal experience. I got married at 18 and my husband was 20. It will be 5 years in Aug that we’ve been married and 8 years in october that we have been together. I am pregnant now with our first little boy due in June, after 4 1/2 years of being married. We got to spend years married and enjoying each other prior to kids. We traveled during those years and got to even check some things off the bucket list (like going to a NFL and NBA game courtside). We have been able to finish our educations, I’m a Registered Nurse currently back in school to get my Masters. My husband actually just got a promotion last month with Wells Fargo and is moving up the corporate ladder with endless opportunities in site for his career advancement until retirement. Every stigma about getting married young was told to us, we even had one church member go as far as to pull my husband out of church prior when we got engaged to ask him if he wanted to get married soon just to have sex!! How shallow can you be. We too had our families support, my parents paid for our wedding (yes we had a wedding ceremony in our church) and reception. We did not rush into anything, we dated/courted for 2 years and was engaged for 10 months prior to getting married. We are more financially stable, happy and successful at 22 and 25 years of age than people 8-10 years older than us that we know are married. God has always been the center of our lives and relationsihp and I truely believe that is why our relationship has been so successful! Thanks for your blog, we need to see more young married couples that are successful and happy!

    • Amen Michelle!! We totally agree. Why can’t you grow together?? Your story sounds almost exactly like ours except I got married at 19. I love meeting other young marrieds 🙂 thanks for sharing!!

  61. I love this! My hubby and I got married at a really young age. I was 17 and he was 18. Yes, we had a child together but we wanted to raise our baby as a married couple. We stayed with my dad for 2 weeks while we got approved for an apartment. I was still 17 when I moved out of my parents house and started my life with my husband and son. By 19 we had a little girl bless our family and now 5 years later, with God’s help our marriage is stronger than most people older than us! I’m 23 and he’s 24. We’ve been on our own for five years. I started giggling at myth number 3 because I had SOO many people tell me we wont last a year.. Yah, well we’ve lasted five so far. In November we will be hitting six. Don’t ever listen to what anyone else tells you. I know a lot of young couples my age are divorced.. but they probably didn’t realize marriage is hard work. A lot harder than you’d expect. My husband and I went so far down hill two years ago, that I told him I wanted a divorce (I was raised in a Christian atmosphere where we don’t believe in divorce.) One night I watched him sleep and my heart just tightened with the thought of not being with him. 🙂 I apologized and asked if we could work it out and we couldn’t be happier. And I can’t thank God enough for helping us through a rough patch. Thank you for your blog posts! Sometimes I feel like they are just for me. Ha. Keep doing what you are doing because I LOVE this blog and your facebook page (I’ve even named it one of my favorite facebook pages) haha.
    In Christ,

  62. I would just like to say I am truly grateful for your blog and all of the comments these other women have left on your post. I was seeking guidance and God truly came through by leading me here. I got married last year on June 13th when I was 20 (now 21) and my husband was 22 (now 23). Our parents didn’t know we got married and till this day my parents and family have no idea but his family knows. I come from very strict up bringing and I guess I have a feeling that our marriage will not be as accepted in my family as it was in his. We got married while we were living in my mom’s house (couple of shockers coming just so you know) and were in sexual sin before we got married of which we repented of and abstained until we got married. But ever since we got married we have been trying to move out and then tell my mom but we couldn’t find an apartment and so next week we plan on moving to georgia where we will be attending school and moving into our own aprtment. But I’m not sure I want to tell my mom I am leaving to her face s our plan was to leave a detailed video and a long note about why we were leaving and bring up our marriage that way. But part of the reason we are leaving is due to my mother’s ways. She is not really living in a way that’s right or acceptable to God and there is just too much to that story for me to get into but I am in a rough place and don’t really know how to feel but I do know that God is calling me out of here and calling me to tell the truth. But again reading this has helped me a lot. So thank you.

  63. I want to start off by saying I loved your article on young marriage! I do agree that the main reason why people don’t want to get married young is because of all the myths and pressures we face as young couples wanting to get married. I am not married yet (I’m 22 and have been with the same man for 1.5 years) but I don’t see myself not with this man and he feels the same. Sometimes I feel like we will get married once I’m 28-30 because of all this propaganda being thrown at us. I think he feels like he has to wait for me to finish school and get a career because that is what society is telling everybody to do. Personally I don’t see the point in waiting 8-10 years to get married once we started dating. If we are mature enough to know what we want and to know that this is a lifetime commitment then why can’t we just do it? My boyfriend and I talk about marriage a lot, we even go into the details like “How many kids are you willing to have?, What if we found out our child had a mental disease?, How much money do we need to save together to be able to buy a house?, etc.” Everybody is so caught up on our age and not how old we actually act. We are both 22 (only a couple days apart) and we both already live in an apartment together (for our entire relationship, the only time I didn’t live there was the first months of not dating but being exclusive). He just finished school while I am still finishing up my degree for a couple more years but we both have been working full time AND part time at nights together at the same night club. We both know how to live on our own and make our own decisions as we have not had parental influence on our decisions since we were 18. My whole point is that we both know we want to be together forever and that we always want to make it work in the end because we don’t believe in divorce, so why should we just wait around pretending to be married just because society tells us we are not normal? At least we are together and get to pretend for now and I thank God for that because he was my angel sent to me at the perfect time. I don’t pressure him at all and I don’t ever want to because I want him to ask me when he feels like he is ready. If his decision is influenced by society I don’t blame him for that, but instead I will just wait for him to do it when he feels he should. I’m just so glad there are people out there who matured faster than the rest of society who know how society keeps trying to shun everybody outside of the so-called normal age to get married.

  64. My husband and I were married 18 years ago, April Fools Day of 1995.I was 6 days past my 21st birthday, and he was a couple months shy of 30. While we both weren’t younger, I assure you, the same myths were around then. We had gotten engaged New Years Eve of 1994/95, and the most common question I got was, ‘So, when are you due?’ Talk about disheartening! My own grandmother gave us three months (given her life experiences, it’s not really surprising, but still hurtful). I won’t say that there have been no hard times. We were military until five years ago, so once we had children (who we did not have, by God’s will, until I was just shy of 26), I spent a lot of time being a geographical single parent. We have five living children, two awaiting us in the arms of Our Lord. Despite being 39, I still hold out hope we will be blessed again.

    It is not always easy-and really, what good things really are?-but I knew he was the one the first time we met… I was 16, he was 25, and there has never been another for me. Remembering that there truly is very little worth arguing about in a marriage of like minds makes it a lot easier. I just ask myself ‘is this a hill I am willing to die on?’ 99.999percent of the time, no. Pick your battles. Is it merely a matter of pride that is behind the urge to argue, to make snarky comments, to nit pick? Most of the time it is, and it is not behavior we need to take part in or emulate for the children.

    I believe that a large part of the reason behind the failure of many young marriages (and older marriages) is a serious lack of understanding of the nature and purpose of marriage. Add in immaturity, a social culture that is poisonous to marriage in general, and Christian marriage in particular, and a general dislike for selflessness… And I am surprised more don’t fail. It is important for all of us to raise our children well, with a visible example of marriage God’s way, not just words. Show others what it means to have a good marriage. Be that light in the darkness.

  65. Thank you so much for this article, as well as all the comments. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 1/2 years (my high school sweetheart) and when we got engaged a week ago we were ecstatic! As we started to tell family and close friends all of them were excited, but going public has made me almost sick to my stomach after all of the ridicule young marriages get.
    I know I’m only 18 and he is 19 but we have always talked about marriage, children, careers and everything about the future. I know we’re ready but is this nervous feeling normal?
    We know that we will be together for the rest of our lives so we figured that we might as well tie the knot (everyone that knows us saw it coming).
    I know I shouldn’t care about what others say but for some reason it’s getting to me, this article really helped though.
    So thank you.

  66. That’s a wonderful story! We have a similar story. My husband had just turned 21 and I was still 19 when we got married. Although we were expecting when we got married and we’ve had our share of difficult times I’m happy to say 20+ years later we are still married! I can imagine how different our lives would be without each other. I’m thankful every day for my husband and our children. May you have many happy years ahead of you!

  67. Just came across this post (thanks to pinterest). I married my husband a not even a full month after I turned 18. We had met online which was very rare back then. My extended family and some of my friends frowned on the idea and even went so far as to tell me that I was ruining my life. It made things a little more difficult when our first was born almost exactly 9 months later (I wasn’t pregnant on our honeymoon…mother nature made sure to ruin that weekend for me lol). Well, here we 3 kids later, getting ready to celebrate our 12th anniversary in a few months. We had our share of struggles, no more than anyone else I know. We were and are still determined to be together. We make the choice every day to love one another as Christ intended. Quitting is not an option for us as it is for so many. We made vows and we are sticking to them!

  68. My hubby and I got married at a young age. I was 20 and he was 22. We had dated through high school and were together for four and a half years almost exactly when we got married. I remember telling my dad the day we got together that this was the man I was to marry, I knew it. And he just looked at me like, you’re serious? You’re sixteen, what do you know about being married? Well, two and a half years after we married and nearly 8 years together total, I’d say we defied all the critics. We have a beautiful baby boy who was conceived on our first wedding anniversary and was born in January 2013. Being parents has made our marriage and our friendship stronger. A lot of people questioned our decision to get married but it was time for us and we knew it. And we’re doing just fine without the nosy people who tried to talk us out of it. And while it was hard to get started (we did have to live with his parents for a while because of our financial situation) we’re doing better in that department and we are happy. Anyone who thinks being married at 20 is a prison sentence didn’t marry their best friend! 🙂

  69. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years and ever since the beginning we’ve been talking, planning, and dreaming about the day we can get married. He wants to propose to me after I graduate high school and we get married the following summer. We were not a typical high school couple. We have vowed to save ourselves for our honeymoon, we attend church together/bible study, and we have been completely committed. Having never had a true fight we get along like best friends, he is my everything and almost losing him has made us both realize that there is no other person in the world for me than him. His parents got married at a similar age while mine waited a good 7 years later… The stereotypes and myths that are out there are very familiar because my parents having just gave my sister to be married are determined to hold onto me longer. The community in which we live in our very cynical when they hear our hopes and dreams. some are more supportive than others. But like you said if it’s God’s plan it will all work for the best and I truly believe He will provide for us. I will be 19 and 1/2 and he will be 21 1/2 when we want to become husband and wife. That would mean that we are together 5 years<3 I could not be more ready for that day to just hurry up and get here and us start our lives together !!!

  70. Congratulations! I totally agree that age has nothing to do with when a couple is ready to get married. If both person has learned about unconditional love at an early age then that’s really all that matters. I think that the recipe for a happy marriage is to be happy with yourself, and take care of your own needs and don’t wait for your partner to fulfill your needs. That realization doesn’t come with age – it’s a spiritual process that is deeper and comes from the heart.

  71. I know this is late but I’m 19 and not married yet. Gods timing is always the best and I used to think that you had to marry older because of education and having to travel was more important but now that I have rededicated my life back to Christ and read your blog I think young marriage is Soo gorgeous and I hope to get married young one day. I read all the posts and i want to be able to tell my story one day.

  72. I appreciate this post so much! My husband and I got married at 22, right before he started graduate school to get his Masters of Divinity. At first, I didn’t think that 22 was very young. Both of our sets of parents were married at 22 so that just seemed normal to me, until everyone I knew started to comment on how young we were. After getting married, I realized that I didn’t have a single married friend. I attempted a semester of graduate school after we got married and all of the other students gave me a really hard time for not being able to party and drink with them, when in reality all I wanted to do was spend time with my husband. We have been married almost a year and half now and I am loving every minute of it, but finding your blog makes me feel like I have finally found a married friend to talk to! haha Thank you so much for your writing!

  73. I have fallen head over heels for your blog. As a 20 year old woman engaged to be married, my husband-to-be and I experience similar reactions from people when they find out we’re so young. We’re both about to finish college and want to have children as soon as possible. I absolutely love the fact that you focus on “gospel centered homemaking” since that is exactly what I hope to accomplish with my life. It’s just so refreshing to meet other young women who realize the true worth of being a Proverbs 31 kind of wife! Thank you for your wonderful posts!! 🙂

  74. My boyfriend and I have been through hell and back together. We have very few and very small squabbles. We simply except each other and don’t get upset about silly things. I have been in love with him for 7 years and we have been dating for 3. He is 2 years older than me , getting a head start on a career and working, while I study and work. Our plan is to get married a year after I graudate. I would be 19 and 6 months and we would be 21. My sister and her husband both got married at 21 so my boyfriend would for sure be ready for marriage at that age, although he is ready right now!!! I have been hard core planning my wedding since 15. I always wanted to get married young. The perfect person came along, why wait? it’s not going to matter in 5 years(or less) how old you were as long as you have a good healthy marriage. Our relationship has been a fairytale… some not so happy things have happened to us with tragedies and just life.. and we have gotten eachother through everything. I seriously could not live with out him. We are everything to eachother and our love is so strong nothing could rip us apart. We are both Christians and have grown in our relationship with God and therefore grown closer together. <3 I truly believe Jesus has laid a path for us and that he will bless our marriage and relationship forever.

  75. I somehow stumbled upon this article on Pinterest this morning, and it couldn’t have been better timing. My boyfriend and I met this past summer working at a Christian summer camp. We’ve only been dating a few months, but we’re already talking about getting married in a year. He wants to propose this New Years. We’ll both be 21 by the wedding, but people keep telling us that we’re rushing into things and are too young. We don’t want to wait, though! We’ve both always wanted to get married young, and because of all the crazy things working out in our favor, we know God brought us together. Yeah, things are moving pretty fast, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m ready to have a loving husband by my side, not because I want one but because I know this is God’s will for us. I’m sure things will be tough, but I’ll be marrying my best friend. Plus, God doesn’t call the prepared; He prepares the called. Reading this post and all the comments has definitely made me feel better in knowing we’re not alone and are not crazy in wanting to get married so soon. Thanks for all the advice and encouragement! This is EXACTLY what I needed to read!

  76. I enjoyed this post SO much! My husband and I will be celebrating 3 years in June 2014. We met in 2005 when we were in middle school. We dated ALL through middle and high school. We got engaged the night I graduated from high school (he was a year ahead of me and already in college). I was 19 yrs old, and he was 20 yrs old. We got a mixture of responses. We either got full support or people didn’t get it. We are Christians as well. We loved each other and knew God created us for each other. We also were waiting to “be together” until we were married. Nevertheless, people didn’t understand. We totally agree with ALL 10 myths.

  77. My husband and I met at 15, began dating at 17, engaged at 19 and married at 20. Now, almost 36 years later, our marriage remains strong. I believe it is due to the same reasons your’s will remain strong. We both agreed from the beginning that God was the center of our lives together. That doesn’t mean we didn’t face challenges. Only one month into our marriage my father-in-law died and my 20 yr old husband took over his parents’ farm, supporting both me and his mother. Our faith is what kept us going the same direction. We’ve gone through so much together. Our history is so entertwined; I love that. I don’t think people have to marry young to have a strong marriage. I just think it worked very well for us.

  78. I still feel like I am a young married couple, but hubby and I will be celebrating 14 years this July…I am 33…we have 4 boys 🙂 We got married when I was 19 and he was 23…we did have friends in the same stages as us, but like you they were in their later 20s (they “seemed” older even to my mind now, they are were 5 years younger than I am now)…my best friend did get married 5 months before us and had their first child 9 months before us…but we weren’t close, but there were lots of phone calls from FL to AZ 🙂 good for you and congrats on the twins 🙂

  79. I have children that are your ages. Unfortunately they haven’t found the right person but wanted to say I was married at 18. My family wouldn’t even come to the wedding because if you get married that young you will get divorced, is what we were told. My one brother was 18 as well, he didn’t even invite them. The funny thing is my brother and I are still married. Our parents thought you weren’t mature for marriage until you were at least 21. Our only sibling that waited till after the age of 21 to get married has been divorced several times now.
    Putting the Lord as the center of your family, working together through the ups and downs is what makes your marriage strong no matter what age you are.

  80. Such a much needed post these days. I just met a dear couple, in their early 20’s who are getting married in June. To top it off they have remained pure and plan to until their wedding night. She is an doing her elementary teaching internship and said she is constantly defending herself for a)waiting and b) marrying young. “Explore the world” “Be single and enjoy it” she hears comments like those often. #5 is probably the one she hears most.

  81. I was married at 22. I had my first daughter at 23 and had my second daughter at age 24. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and 4 months.

  82. My husband and I will celebrate our 1 year anniversary tomorrow (4/26). And to put a topper on the cake, we are expecting our first son June 8th of this year! God has been so good to us and even though we both have moments of self-contentedness and pride there is NOTHING that can come between us! Divorce is not an option because God is the Rock and Foundation of not only our marriage, but our lives! So although I didn’t finish school, and my husband is currently in school to be a pastor…we are trusting in the Lord to meet our financial needs. Let me tell you, He has gone above and beyond what we ever dreamed! No, we aren’t wealthy – in the world’s standards – but we are wealthy because of our IDENTITY IN CHRIST and the blessings that He is pouring over us because of our obedience to Him. Biblical manhood and womanhood has been distorted in our generation – and my husband and I are committed to set an example to not only our full quiver of children (Lord-willing) but to young people all around us! I love reading your blog and the heart you have for allowing God to lead you and your family no matter what it costs, and no matter what the rest of the world says, is very encouraging! God bless!

    Mrs. Caleb Wright

  83. Oh my goodness, all of these are so true but I could not agree with number 7 more! My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 21. And we got all the same warnings about the first year being horrible and painful and messy. We’ve been married for a year and a half now and we have loved every second of it! Happy as can be. Not to say that we haven’t had to work through a few things as well, but that just comes with the territory. I’m a fan of young love (and marriage)! 🙂

    Great post!

  84. I’m graduating high school with my associates degree, and I’m very mature for my age. I have very realistic views about the future. I’m 17 and the only thing stopping me from marrying my fiancé early is the fear of judgmental people. I know I’m going to marry this man, and if I don’t marry him this summer I’ll marry him after I graduate. It’ll be so much easier if we get married this summer, but I don’t want to have any nasty rumors spread about me during my senior year of high school. High school kids can be very mean and I don’t think I could handle all the negative comments from family and friends and schoolmates about how young I am, and if I’m pregnant- which I’m not.
    Do you have any advice for me? Should I wait until after I graduate and waste time? Or I marry him early and ignore all the rumors during my senior year?

  85. my husband and i married at young ages. he was 23 and i was 20. we dated for 4 years and decided it was time to get hitched because we could only think of a life together. 25 years later we are much in love and going strong. i take offense to people who trivialize young people who feel a strong commitment towards each other because it can be real and it can work……when you look at some 40 year olds their lives are a mess so if you cant say something nice dont say it at all…oh and i waited 5 years to have my first child

  86. My husband and I married in 1987, he was 23 and I was 18. We have been married for 26 years, raised two sons and are now 45/50 moving on to a new chapter in our lives. There were struggles, but the work is worth it! I love him more today than I did then.

  87. Hi, I like your article. It is really nice to know about you and your husband marriage. I got married at the age of only 17 years and my husband was 23. We got married in Germany. Our both families were very supportive.
    Although it was not very easy decision, but we still managed to adjust. We both continued our studies, and meanwhile worked as part-time. It is far better to have a “faithful” life-partner in your life, instead of any unfaithful “boy- or girlfriend, and this for a very short period.

    We have now 2 beautiful kids. My son was born when I was only 20 years old. I have now married for almost 15 years. And we are still like “newly married and in love” !!

  88. I really appreciate your entire website and especially articles like this one. I’m 19 and getting married and truly the most difficult part of getting married young is the world’s reaction! Haha, I have enjoyed reading your articles aloud to my fiancé and they help our confidence stay grounded. Going to school, being involved in church and working two jobs is not easy and we would be insane if this was a rash decision! It’s nice to know you’re not alone. 🙂

  89. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciated finding this post so very much! My boyfriend and I of three years are getting engaged at the end of this summer and we will be 19 & 22 at the time we get married. We are 100% confident in our love and our decision to get married. Our families are wonderfully supportive but I know that we will have to deal with questions and comments about our age. This post has been so encouraging to read and I really look up to you and your husband and the relationship you have together.

  90. I was married at 17 years old, I still had two weeks of my senior year in high school to finish. My class went on Sr. trip during spring break I got married instead. I had a teacher ask me straight out if I was pregnant, and when i told her no looked at me like I was lying about it. We actually did not have our first child until 5 years later when we were ready to have one. We have been happily married for 28 years now. I won’t say it hasn’t been hard at times but what worth having isn’t hard sometimes. We now have the one daughter and a beautiful energetic lovable four year old grandson. Many years ago women got married very young and they all survived. I personally think it depends on how maturity and not so much age.

  91. I have to say that it all depends on the couple. I got married at 20 because of a pregnancy, I was not ready but did it because it was the ‘right thing to do’. I barely knew my new husband but he was a tyrant and quickly showed that he was NOT husband material much less a provider and protector and ended up divorcing very quickly. Those things are not myths because for some couples those “myths” do exist and are very real issues. I think its not prudent to be slightly one-sided on the subject. I honestly do not believe that young adults should be getting married without some type of marital counseling first and be independent, with some type of life path and actually get to know their soon-to-be spouse. You do have some excellent points and points of reference for your article and I do enjoy reading your blog. Cheers!

  92. I absolutely love this. My husband and I were married both at the age of 18 right out of school. We were high school sweethearts. We are getting ready to celebrate our 13 years of being married. We have a 7 and 4 year old and we are more in love now than we were at 18. We did struggle our first 3 years but we were not serving God to our fullest at that time and had things we had to overcome and eventually giving God our lives back in full. I think with us, we were more mature and responsible than most 18 year olds and it was best for us. There are no regrets except for wishing we had given God our all to begin with. I wish you and your hubby 50 more happy years!

  93. Hi. I just found this article on pinterest and I loved it. I got engaged to my husband when I was just 18 and he was 19. People thought we were joking. We got married when I was 21 despite my family being not supportive (his family was, and our pastor was). My parents said all those things you outlined above. But we paid for the wedding ourselves, paid our own bills, made it work. He was military at the time we married and we kept up long distances when we had to. We bought a house at 23 years old, and in the bay area of California no less. We had our first child when I was 25 (after I graduated college and worked a couple years), and have two more since then. We have been married 12 years now! Still in love. I’m 34 now and life is wonderful as a family of 5. I’m glad we didn’t wait one more minute to spend our lives together.

  94. Almost everything about this describes my marriage! I was 18 and he was 20. Lots of people doubted us but lots of people (who knew us well) didn’t doubt us at all. Our two year anniversary is on the 28th and I must say, it’s been the best 2 years of my life!

  95. I loved reading this. My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 19. So many people judged us and said we wouldn’t last. That was nearly 4 years ago and we’re still together and have a beautiful daughter. It’s wonderful to read about someone else who has experienced similar things to what we have.

  96. What a great post. I was 20 and my husband was 21 when we got married, and we celebrate our 19 year anniversary this week. We started dating at 15 and 16, so I don’t really remember people being surprised that we got married that young. We have 3 kids and my husband is a chef, so life is a bit crazy. But with God at the center of our marriage, we work out things as they come up and I love my husband so much more than the day we got married.

  97. Loved this ! We were married when he was just barely 21 and I was 20 ! We’ve been together for 30 years ! We started dating our Jr. yr in high school ! We still feel as tho we are still newly weds !

  98. I just wanted to say your blog is so inspiring!! I will be getting married to my best friend and gift from God next summer at the age of 19 🙂 I am so glad I found your blog!

  99. My husband and I got married on May 17th of this year. We went through a lot of the same things that you went through. We had been best friends since we were 14 and he was 15, started dating when we were 18 and he was 19. We were a church couple through and through. He came from a long line of church folk, which several of his family having a ministry. Now everybody at church knew were getting married because we loved each other and this was the choice we had made together. We were engaged for almost two years before we got married. Everybody else, my boss and my secular friends would always give me these weird looks and comment “oh but you are only 20, are you sure?” Or other people who were older would come to us and say, “you know 50% of marriages end in divorce.” All things considered we knew this was the right path for us no matter what anybody thought. We had prayed on it and asked for the Lord’s blessing. We had a simple service and whilst we’ve only been married for three months now I am glad we made this choice.

  100. I love this post it made my day except i am 19 and my boyfriend ia 19 to, we want to get married but my parents are against it and his aren’t. HELP?

  101. I came across this across the article by accident but I am glad I read it. My fiance and I have been together since I was 15 years old and we have been dating for 4 years now. I am 19 and he is 21 (and I am not pregnant so that is not why we want to get married now). He proposed to me and now everything is wedding planning!And just like you we have sat and talked about this for hours! I am excited to get married (even at being 19 years) but I love what you said about society looking down on us. His parents gave us their blessing and my parents gave us their blessing but I still have people trying to put doubt in my mind and saying that we are just too young. I love my fiance and we both know that we want each other for the rest of our lives. And just like you we have sat and talked about this for hours! I just gets hard when you have people (even family members) telling me this is a mistake and I would want to explore my options. They do not understand that I love him and when I look at him I fall in love all over again and all I want he is to be with him. We want to continue to grow together in life. So, I am glad I came across this post because the people doubting me were really starting to bring me down but this post brought me back up. I am excited to become his wife and learn life lessons together. Thank you for this! I am more than ready to get married.

  102. In 5 years we’ll see.

    You sound just like the neighbor girl who now lives estranged fro her two children as she prances around bars in her 40’s trying to be 20. Her Ex husband dates men.

    Both of them still preach god too. The screaming next door is insane. Is that gods work too?

    • Wow, how very sad for them. Of course, no two couples are the same. Getting married young doesn’t equal this kind of marriage you’ve seen. There are plenty of couples who get married older and end up in the same situation. Marriage can be hard 🙁

  103. I appreciate this post so much! I am not religious, but I do believe that all the events in my life led up to me meeting my amazing wife. We are both 19 and got married in June. Though we have only been married for close to 4 months, and we DO have our issues, I know we wouldn’t have it any other way. We are very committed to each other. This post gives me so much hope and the light that I needed to drown out the negativity we get as a young married couple.

    • That is wonderful Rayana!! It’s always encouraging meeting other young couples and knowing that you are NOT alone! Other people DO get married young still…even in this culture haha! Congrats 🙂

  104. My husband and I met when we were 14/15 and became best friends over the next 5-6 years. When the stars finally aligned and we had both ended relationships with other people we decided to give it a try and date each other. I couldn’t live with the idea that one day I’d be 40 years old looking back and wondering “what if”. We figured we’d either be great together or kill each other but we just had to know.

    We started dating one November and were engaged by March. We just knew it was right. We married the following February, I was 21 and he was 22.

    We had our kids early which, like you said, put us in a place where we couldn’t relate to people our own age. Our priorities were very different from theirs so all of our friends have always been 10 years older than us which was fine because it all works out.

    So let me paint a picture for what you have to look forward to: We’ve been married for 18 years, our oldest son is on his own in the US Army while our youngest is 13 and incredibly self-sufficient. The tough child raising years are behind us. No more diapers or sleepless nights, no more being constantly sick for 3 years after they start school, no more day care bills, no more book reports… Nothing. IT IS GLORIOUS. I just turned 40 this year and I have my whole life ahead of me. Oh, and all of that going out, socializing and seeing the world that we supposedly “missed out” on? We’re able to do that now and we have the money and vacation time to do it with. Being able to enjoy everything with our two grown sons makes it even sweeter.

    All of those people that judged you for starting early? They judged us too, 20 years ago. They told us we were crazy, that we were making a big mistake and that we’d regret it. Many of them married in the last 10 years or so and are just starting their families at 35-40 years old. When we casually mention that we all slept until 10 on Saturday, or that just the two of us are going out to dinner they glare at us, tell us how lucky we are and then sarcastically say “MUST be NICE…” while rolling their eyes and sneering. I have to gently remind them that while they were partying away their 20s and 30s, we were both working full time and raising kids for the last 20 years. It only just got easier for us during the last two of them. Do I think they’re crazy for starting so late in life? Not at all. They did it when they were ready and I wholeheartedly support people doing what is right for them and making their own decisions regardless of societal pressures. Would it be for me? Oh no. No way. I thank my lucky stars that it’s not me doing middle of the night feedings at 40 years old and then having to go to work in the morning.

    Oh, and my husband and I? We are still best friends. Getting married when we did was so right for us. We grew up together, we learned how to become adults together and we have never taken what we have for granted. We started off early before there was any chance for bad habits or negative experiences to set in so there was minimal baggage. We know how lucky we are to have found each other so young and cherish the idea that this will give us an incredible amount of time together. When the kids were young we still made every day about the two of us because that’s what endures. Children grow up and move out – always nurture your love so that it’s still in crazy full bloom when it’s only the two of you. Oh, and happy parents have happy kids. 🙂

    So the point of this is to support your point: Getting married young can work out great, just like waiting until you’re older. It can also fail, just like waiting until you’re older. It’s not a guaranteed recipe for disaster like so many people assume and in my personal experience it seems that it should actually have a greater chance of success but that’s just me.

    Best wishes to you, I hope that everyone can have the kind of love story that my husband and I have been blessed with no matter what age they get married at. I also hope that you know that anyone who says snarky, condescending things about your age or being married are merely limited by the confines of their beliefs and don’t mean anything bad by what they’re saying, they’re just being small-minded. It’s people like us that can help them expand their beliefs and see that anything is possible. Take care, be well!

  105. Jami, Like so many of the others that found your article, I had simply followed a Google search. Reading through the replies, I was amazed at how many individuals seemed to have found your article at just the right time. You are clearly sharing some God given wisdom and it is great to see God at work in your efforts. My wife and I were married in 1974 at the ages of 18 and 19 respectively. Some 40 plus years later, we’re still enjoying life together… now with the added blessings of grandchildren. It took me a few years, but I finally made this realization… I wouldn’t be concerned about whether my wife was “trying to control me” if I had already fully yielded control to God. A lot of the battles and arguments prior to that time centered around my continuing to battle with being “self-centered” and not God centered. May God bless you and your family.

  106. Thank you so much for posting this article. I was 18 and my husband was 21 when we got married. We had been dating for three years. We faced all of these same situations when we got married. The “are you pregnant?” “but you’re too young!” At my bachelorette party (we went bowling) the owner of the bowling alley looked at me, sneered and then said, “What are you like twelve?”

    Even today, after seven and a half years of marriage and two children, people still ask me, “Well, what about all the things you missed out on?” I’m sorry, didn’t realize I missed out on so much. I assume they mean all the dating different people and partying. But I can’t say I’ve ever met someone who was married later on in life who said, “Well I’m glad I didn’t meet my wife/husband any sooner. I would have missed out on all the possible heartbreaks!”

    And like you, so many people were shocked to learn that at our young age we were financially independent adults with very little debt.

    I even got some strange looks from my grandparents when we announced our engagement. They were married at seventeen, by the way, and have been married for sixty-one years. Our society has really changed it’s mind on marrying young since those days.

    Just goes to show, that age is nothing but a number. Maturity and love are based on the individuals, not the birthdates.

  107. I stumbled upon this site in search of what are the 10 worst moments married couples could go through and came upon this. I found this an interesting read for as I am 30 and have never been married by choice because I never felt I was grown up enough. Coming from a broken home from the time I was born has shown me the reality of what marriage can do to a family when 2 people are not able to work out their differences. I have never doubted people who have gotten married young but at the same time I know their minds have not matured in a way yet to handle adult problems. I have a friend who married at 23 and her husband 22. 10 years later they are still married today and the one thing she says is that she wishes they had not rushed into marriage because they did not know who they were as people and were still finding themselves plus they were not mature so little problems became dramatic and big deals. I found your top 10 reasons to be quite childish and not touch on the real things that married couples face and I think that is where the doubt lies. People question can a 19 year old that has barely experienced the world be able to handle hard situations that arise in marriage the same way someone my age would. I just look back at when I was 19 and I do not see things the same way at all as I do now. Everything is a process. So I would like to challenge you to write a blog about what it is like to be young and how you and your husband have dealt with big issues that have come up in your life. I think you would gain more respect from the older people like me if you could prove to bridge this gap.

  108. This is a sweet post. Thank you for sharing your story. My parents married at the age of 20 after becoming friends in high school and are getting ready to celebrate their 41st anniversary. They are so happy after all these years and have raised 2 children and now have 7 grandchildren. My husband and I followed in their footsteps, meeting at the age of 15. We weren’t quite as young as you as we chose to finish college first (to be able to stay on parents’ health insurance!), but we married at 23 and just celebrated 11 years of marriage along with our 3 children. There are so many blessings to those that enter marriage young with no “baggage” from other relationships.

  109. I love this!
    I was 20 and my husband 26 when we got married! I was the first of all my friends to get married and I also got many of those questions! We started trying for our family 3 years later, and although it took longer than we expected- God’s timing is perfect.
    We are here 11 year later part of the worship team and marriage ministry leaders with 3 beautiful children. I get to be a home-mama for God’s glory and am trying to learn how to homeschool :).
    I am now 31 so I hope that counts as young 🙂

    I encourage 19-20 year olds that are talking about marriage to pray and if it is God’s will, He will hold them together. This day…too many 20somethings are just “playing the field” and that is dangerous.
    Young Marriages are BEAUTIFUL!

  110. I really can relate to so much of this. We were both eighteen. Pur first year was really make it or break it because of some of these issues. We lived with his parents for nine months when we first were married and it really intensified aome of these stigmas for us. But we have been married now for five years with two little girls! I am so greatful in some ways the first year was so hard because we are so strong now. People who meet us now are shocked we are still in our youna twenties because getting married so young makes you mature so fast. Most people assume we are older haha. Marriage is wonderful, and not a picnic always. We didn’t have it easy to start but things have become so much easier and better with Gods grace and abundant love for our marriage. We have had an amazing opportunity to grow up together from eighteen until 100! Lol

  111. This post really helped me. I’m 15, and my boyfriend and I plan on getting married when at least one of us is 19. He’s saving money for our wedding already. I’ve talked about it with my mom (a little), but she doesn’t have a Bible-based opinion (she’s catholic but doesn’t go to the church, and I’m protestant). Mother says things like “Ok, sweetie, but he’s your first boyfriend. Let’s not get our expectations too high” or “You are too young to think about this”.
    It’s really hard…

  112. I have a very similar story to you all. I am 22 years old and my future husband is 22 also. We met when we were just in 7th grade and now I am a Senior about to graduate from college and he is in the Military. We had been friends for this long before I finally gave him a real chance. Now, only a few months into our relationship, we have decided to get married. This is the happiest I have ever been in a relationship before. He knows how to treat a woman and he knows what it takes to be in a relationship! Everything about our relationship and engagement was non traditional. We know for a fact that we want to be together forever, but that is hard to believe for some people. We talk for hours all the time on what we want out of our marriage. I truly believe that God has brought us together for a reason. I believe that it was a reason why it took this long for us to actually fall in love and be together. Its all about timing. Our families are very supportive, but we know that we will have to deal with outsiders thinking that our marriage will not last. And just like you, divorce is not an option for us. We will work through our problems like two grown adults and continue to love one another. Is there any advice that you would give us to having a long and lasting relationship?

  113. Hello! Me and My husband are both 19, and we are facing many of the same problems. I’m glad to hear such a good example. Thanks!

  114. hi everyone , am so happy about dis post, its quite encouraging, i’ll.b 20 soon nd almost thru with the university by God’s grace and hope to get married as soon.as.possible and most importantly i want to do it according to d will of God in my life and also enjoy my marital life.

  115. My parents got married when my mom was 18 and my dad 24. They are still married now, 25 years later and they have two children. I never saw them shouting at each other and when they got maried, they were financially independant. And according to what I see everyday, they are still in love.

  116. My name is Ashley and I am 17 years old. My boyfriend Nick and I have been together since I was 14 and he was 16. He joined the Air Force nearly a year ago and since, we have become much much closer to each other! We’ve been talking about getting married for over a year and plan on getting engaged this winter when he comes back on leave! I have very very supportive parents but everyone who hears that we plan on getting married after I graduate just tells me that I have time to change my mind and that I have so many things still to do! We are both Christians and love God as well as each other very very much! I’m very excited but it’s kind of hard to keep a positive attitude with so many people saying its a bad idea!

  117. This was a really encouraging read. I am currently 22 and expecting my second child (the two will be 18 months apart). My husband and I married when I was 18 and he was 23. What I got sick of hearing is how getting married young (and especially having children young) will ruin your life. So completely ridiculous and sad. Nearly four years on and I would not change a single thing – I would have married him at 16 if I was able to! Ha! I’m looking forward to being 28 and having our 10 year wedding anniversary =)

  118. I personally do think that marriage should be illegal until the age of 21. I was just talking about this with one of my roommates and she agrees with me. Every couple I have known that has married young has crashed and burned. My mom married her first husband when she was 15 and they were divorced by the time she was 16. My best friend got married at 18 and was divorced in 9 months. My younger sister got married at 17 and was divorced a year later. Statistics tell us that 60% of marriages between people younger than 25 end in divorce. So this tells us that getting married young and having the marriage last is the exception, not the rule. What I mean by that is: young marriages can work out, but most don’t.

    So I personally feel like articles like this aren’t beneficial to society. They tend to make getting married young a trend, just like getting pregnant as a teenager became a trend when Teen Mom came out. I think it is ridiculous that drinking alcohol is illegal until you are 21 because your brain isn’t fully developed enough, yet you can get married at 18.

    Honestly, waiting a few years to get married isn’t going to hurt you. At all. Ever. All that waiting to get married will do is give you more time to get to know each other and more certainty about it. Most young people these days think that their first love is going to be their only love. This simply isn’t true. So they get married and end up getting divorced later on down the road.

  119. Thank you so much for this. I’m 20 and my fiancé is 19. We got engaged in the middle of April and are planning on getting married next summer, so I’ll be 21 and he’ll be 20. I have people that I have just met say “aren’t you a little young to be getting married” or “what’s the hurry? If you love each other you can wait.” Each time it hurts me a little and I find myself having to justify my actions to people I don’t even really know. We met in the middle of our second semester in college and we knew before the semester was over that it was Gods’ will for us to get married. We have been dating/engaged for almost a year and a half now and everyone who knows us as a couple supports us and has seen it coming for a while now. However, what other people say does hurt, even if it’s just on social media, so thank you for putting this out there for women like me.

  120. hi Jami…
    am 18 and my husband to be is 28
    we love each other so much…. and it was God’s will for us to be together but the thing here is that i think am just too young to get married and am still in the university and i don’t want pple to gossip about me..what do i do?

  121. I thank you for this post. I married my best friend when I was 17 and still in my senior year of high school. We have been married for almost 3 years and we are stronger than ever. I thank God every day for him.

  122. Thank you for writing this, Jami! My husband and I can truly relate to this on every level. We got married the summer after our sophomore year of college, and people thought that we were either 1.) crazy or 2.) pregnant. It’s sad that so many people have lost sight of the beautiful, God-given gift that marriage is. We’ve been married for a little over 4 years now, have two kids and one on the way, and I still get crazy looks when people find out that I’m only 24! We are truly blessed is all I can say! 🙂

  123. I was married at 18. He was 20. Very young. Very in love. 17 years later he is still my best friend and the love of my life. We have had our ups and downs, but it has all been worth it.

  124. I was 18 and my husband was 22 when we got married. I literally graduated and two weeks later we had our wedding. I’m sure there was plenty of talk around our small town. I had friends tell me I was making a huge mistake. Teachers tell me that it wouldn’t last. That was in 2005. We are happily married 10 years later…..Oh and 4 kids later. : ) I love that we got married so young. We have less issues to deal with than some people that wait.

  125. Hello! I’m 18 years old and my boyfriend is 21. I met him online and we had been friends for about 8-9 months before he asked me out. He came to visit me on Oct. 1st my 18th birthday. We really want to get married but 🙁 There’s so much talk from other people about it. It makes me really sad. I just recently moved to Canada and my mother has cancer so I have to support us both while studying. But honestly? I really want to marry my boyfriend 🙁 Do you think it’s a bad decision? He already has a job and I’m sure he can support us both financially and I can help out while studying but everybody seems so judgemental about it.

  126. Thank you so much for writing about this. My husband and I were married at twenty after being really great friends for 5 years. His family supported it, mine did not (but there was an issue of his family believing that we were following God and my family doesn’t see eye to eye with my religious beliefs). The first year was rough, not because we were young, but because we are both very strong willed independent first borns with very strong but different family dynamics. But God was always at work in our relationship. We have been happily married for 9 1/2 years. He is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine another life for myself.

  127. Thankyou for writing about the myths of getting married young! My husband and I got married at 18 & 19, and it was the best decision of our lives! Sure, marriage is hard, but no harder for a young person than an older one! I agree with so many of the points you made.

    My biggest reason for writing this comment is to let ‘young marrieds’ know that when the going gets tough, it isn’t because you got married young, it’s because marriage IS tough. But so worth it! You will have seasons where marriage feels like a struggle, and in one of those seasons, I started to believe the naysayers that maybe I did get married too young. BUT, I chose to work on my marriage, and now we are happier than ever.

    Thanks Jami for writing this post and speaking the truth about what it is like to get married young!

    p.s My husband and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in January – I’m so excited already!

  128. As a mama, let me say congratulations. My 2 daughters are now married; the oldest was 22 when she married, and she is now 20 weeks pregnant. My younger daughter got married when she was 18 and her sweet husband was 19. Just a few weeks ago, in fact. They (the younger 2) had been best friends for a few years already, and all of us, friends and family alike, enjoyed watching them grow closer. And we all knew where this was headed. So for most of us, the wedding wasn’t any surprise. But, as people will, some busy-bodies have it in their heads that—oh, she must be pregnant! Or, it won’t last. Or, well, they are just too young–what were they thinking? What were y’all thinking to let them get married?!? I am thinking that they have been praying together for a long time over this, and that, as long as they continue to seek God’s will, they will be okay. And I do pray for all of my children.

  129. I absolutely loved this. Thank you for sharing! I appreciate hearing from other young people who were married young and have their heads on straight. 😉

    Random question, I love the “Follow me on” widgets that you have at the bottom of the page here. What plugin is that, or was it custom made for your site?

    Thanks and God bless!

  130. I got married when I was 22, although my husband was 36, so he was not getting married young. We are 27 and 41 now. I have no regrets. Despite our age difference, we have several common interests and shared opinions and beliefs. I don’t feel that I have missed out on anything. I never liked bars or clubs and parties; I am the type who wants to stay home with a bottle of wine and a couple of movies or a book. My husband is the same way. I was more than happy to get married at 22 and be done with the process of dating. I enjoy sharing life with a man who is both my husband and my best friend.

  131. I love this so much! I was twenty-one when I got married, not really “young” in my mind, but I wanted so badly to start our family right away. Unfortunately that was not in my control and I would be almost twenty-seven before our oldest was born. I believe things happened the way they did for a reason, but I still mourn those years of my early twenties that were spent childless. My husband and I talk all the time about how we will encourage our kids to marry young and start families young. It’s our goal to raise them so that they’re prepared for that.

  132. I loved this article! My husband and I met at church and became best friends then dated for two years engaged for 1 of those 2. I was 16 and was 19, you could imagine the reaction and rumors! We will be celebrating 5 years May 6th with 3 babies and 1 on the way. My oldest son will turn 3 in August, my twin boys will turn 1 in August and baby #4 is due in October!!

  133. I completely agree! : -) My husband and I were both 20 when we got married. We’ll celebrate our 17th anniversary next Sunday. I was 22 when we had our first baby (we now have 5 and one on the way). I always try to be an encouragement to young married couples. It may not be for everyone but that doesn’t mean it isn’t for some of us! People always ask how I will feel if our kids want to get married young. Why wouldn’t I? It has proven to be a tremendous blessing for us!

  134. Great post! My husband and I got married young. I was 20, he was 21. We are about to celebrate our 18th anniversary. It has been wonderful. Many people told us the first year was going to be awful…it wasn’t. Thanks for taking the time to share!

  135. I am 19 and getting married to my 22 year old finance in on April 9th (3 weeks from now)! and this article resonates with me so much. Unfortunately we only have the support of my family not his but his family is not following Christ either. I’ve had so many rude comments made to me about us not being ready or especially #8 people thinking we’re playing house. We are both Christian but have already been living like we are married for the past 2 years. I had a coworker when i first got engaged and she was engaged talking to me about wedding plans for about twenty minutes and it was all fine and then she asked my age and i told her and she actually said “well mines different because its actually real and i know he’s the one” i was flabbergasted. also about a week ago i was out shopping for my fiancé and the cashier noticed my ring and asked me ” what made you decide to be so spontaneous all of a sudden?” as if we hadn’t thought out the engagement or hadn’t already been talking about getting married for 2 years already.. its amazing what people think they can say to young people.I think the best thing everyone can do is just support and love on young marriages because there is nothing different between getting married at 19 or 29. If a person is ready for marriage no one should stand in the way of that.

  136. I’m 16 and I want to get married young…. One day I was talking about marriage to my teacher and my friend and we was talking about my teachers college days… N I asked him what did he do and he said I just stayed in my room and studied and he was getting married … And I told him I want to get married young… And my friend was like what! Don’t you want to party and have fun … ( like clubs n strip clubs) and I said no…. I don’t like partying or where I’m drinking n getting drunk… And I don’t like looking at half naked people. …. The face people give me when I say I want to marry young is ” are you crazy!” Or ” something wrong with you” face. ….. Truth is… I love marriages …. I see the true meaning and beauty in marriages… I honestly feel like that’s the road god wants me to go down … I always find myself reading something about marriages or love or watching a movie teaching these things… I honestly know a lot and people ask me for advice … I love giving them advice… To know I’m helping out another marriage/relationship. I believe so deeply that god wants me to be a marriage counselor so my career is actually being marriage and family therapist. I believe I’m ready for marriage… But thing is … I think no one sees me or even likes me…. Or Im just dumped in a spiritual desert in the middle of nowhere…. But I try to stay believing God’s bringing my husband now, so I try not to worry about it….

  137. I was married at 18 and my husband was 19. We got baptized a few months after getting married. We did elope but we waited to have children (8 years!). Now it’s 12 years later with a 3.5 year old and a 1 year old and I thank God that despite us eloping it’s been an incredible blessing and journey. It just depends on who the young couple is and whether God is in the marriage or not as to whether it’s going to last.

  138. I have been listening to your podcast for a little while but have just now had time to look through your blog (I have a year old and 4 1/2 month old consuming most of my time right now – Congrats on your new pregnancy by the way!)

    My husband and I married when I was 19 and he was 20. We had only known each other for 11 months when we got married so it was fairly quick as well. I was a junior in college at the time, and my husband did not go to college because he co-runs a family business and did not see a need to get a degree. My parents had a little apartment on top of their house that we lived in while I finished school, but we moved into our own home right after I finished school.

    We did get a lot of critics and comments, but we knew we were doing the right thing. Both families were in agreement with the marriage and we had marriage counseling with my husband’s uncle (and our pastor at the time) before we got married. While it has been challenging at times for sure, I feel so blessed to have the found the one the Lord had for me at a young age!

  139. There’s a lot of truth in these comments! My personal favorite is that “people didn’t know what to make of two college students married…acting like adults.” SO TRUE! My husband and I got married when we were each 20. Surprisingly, very little negative feedback was said directly to us, yet we know of some different comments in circulation. Our family and friends were overwhelmingly supportive of our wedding and engagement, but I’ve observed a bit of a difference now that we’re actually living a married life. Many friends and peers have noticed a difference in my husband and I in the amount of activities that we choose to attend. For example, I’m working full-time now that I’ve just finished school, so being home at a reasonable hour on weeknights is essential to my ability to function! Other friends give us some grief for decisions such as this, when in reality, it’s just the necessary sacrifices to keep up with our marriage, jobs, home, and other commitments.

  140. My husband and I got married 1 week after I turned 18, with our parents blessings, financially independent, for no other reason than we loved each other completely and we’ve been married almost 16 years now. We have 2 beautiful boys and a baby girl on the way. Life hasn’t been always easy, but honestly I don’t know anyone whose life has been a cakewalk. In my opinion, age isn’t the issue, commitment and endurance are!

  141. My husband and I got married young as well. I was 18 almost 19 and he had just turned 22. We’ve been married for 8 years now . If you count dating years we’ve been together for 11 years. We had a beautiful wedding and now we have 3 beautiful boys. I don’t regret being married young. A lot of people say we missed out on all the “fun”years but I don’t feel that way because being with my husband is fun! We also don’t have many friends our own age.

  142. Thank you for writing this when we got married I was 18 and he was 19. Two years later and were still in love. I love the part about being financially stable we have also gotten a lot of people thinking we live off of our parents which is almost comical to me.

  143. I don’t see the significance in pointing out people as being Christian or not. If anything, I’d say that Christians are more judgmental about young love, sex, and marriage. That was a big concern dealing with my parents as they’re religious and I’m not. Hopefully any others’ criticisms don’t affect your own relationships because nobody else matters but the two of you. Best wishes to any young (or mature) couples out there. If it feels right, then it is right.

  144. I was 22 years old and my husband was 21 when we got married. We did not date at all before we were married, although for a stretch of about 5 months we attended the same youth group, before he moved 1500 miles away. God worked things out better than we ever could have, and with fervent prayer we got engaged and married 3 months later. Four kids, and twenty years later we are still going strong. We have encountered plenty of hard times, (and that has nothing to do with how old we were when we got married!) but divorce has never been an option for us and has never been considered. For all of you young brides out there, the honeymoon will end, real life will hit, bad stuff will happen, but God is in his Heaven, and as long as you commit your life to Him God will see you through. They say a woman needs to feel love, but one of the most important things your husband needs to feel is your respect. Try it!

  145. I’m 18 and my boyfriend just turned 17 and we have been dating for about 3 years. We have a wonderful relationship and are best friends first. We are both homeschooled and mature for our age. I was discouraged when we talked about getting married in the next couple of years because we are so young but reading this definitely gave me a new perspective. Getting married young isn’t for everyone but it may be for us he is definitely a blessing hand delivered by God and the only obstacles I see preventing us from getting married young are other people’s opinions and the fear of getting pregnant before I’m ready. Thank you for sharing your story and advice.

  146. It would be nice if you would let people know how long you were together before getting married. I married at age 20. But….. For all those reading, I was financially independent and had been living on my own since age 17 and owned my own home I bought with my own money. Needless to say, my marriage didn’t work. That wasn’t because of age, that was because of his immaturity and lack of responsibility. Twenty years later, he’s still the same. I do have a 19 year old who has dated a girl for three months and they are talking about marriage. Bad idea. Not because of age, but because they are not independent, going into debt left and right, and not having God as the center of their relationship. Lying to both of their parents, acting immature. For him to marry her at this point, bad bad idea. But, I also have a 21 year old who has a Christ centered life, no debt, and strong work ethic. If he was to meet a girl now and want to get married, they’d have my blessing. Age has nothing to do with it….it’s all about how responsible someone is. As I said before, my ex is now in his forties and still irresponsible. It’s also about how they treat the relationship. Are they mature and looking at marriage for what it really is, or like many young people (sad to say) acting like love sick teenagers and disregarding responsibility and rationale and making other poor decisions in the process.

  147. Thank you this has encouraged me!!! I am currently 19 and God has told me that this is the direction He is steering me in even though I was hesitant about marriage and children…I haven’t met my guy yet but God has already let me know that it’s very soon and while I wait a bit I need to get more information as possible….at first when the Lord revealed this to me it caught me off guard because marriage was no where on my radar….but it’s going to happen very soon and I know gonna get backlash from people and family…God is helping me spiritually so I’ll be okay! And also I have a reason for looking at marriage with a sour face because I saw my dad and his wife’s marriage and I remember the words that she said about not wanting to be married and it’s too hard and some profanities mixed in….I was discouraged and thought marriage was what I was shown through my dad and his wife. (They aren’t saved) But God told me that marriage is good and it was created to make us holier. Amen! I am studying and looking and I don’t want to give myself away to my family lol but I must know this. Pray me and my sis because I believe we both will have to face this soon. (We’re twins btw) 😉

  148. So very, very true! We were the same ages, I 19, my husband 21. We have been married nearly 10 years now, and have 5 beautiful children. The world does not understand. It is only now as I near my 30th birthday, that people take me seriously, and not so much for my age as the fact that a)who’s going to mess with a woman with 5 children, and b) I’m starting to look older! I looked really young for several years after we got married…people assumed I was somewhere between 16 and 18 for a very long time. Now I’m starting to get gray hair and wrinkles, so I don’t think they question 🙂 Good for you!

  149. This made me smile 🙂 I was married at barely 18. By that, I mean I wasn’t quite 18! I had a month and 11 days or so before my 18 the birthday. My favorite comments were “are you pregnant?” “How old ARE you?” Or my personal favorite….”you’re not old enough for a ring that big” (regarding the carat size of my ring) People can be very rude without meaning to. They just don’t think before they speak.
    We did end up getting pregnant within two weeks or so of being married (honeymoon baby) and then I had people count back to my wedding date to figure out if I’d actually been married first. Nice.
    My husband and I have definitely grown together 😉 and it’s been 29 years as of last week!!
    Marriage isn’t easy. It’s a lot of work. A balance of give and take. Mutual respect. Having the same common goals and general background/ beliefs is a huge plus!

  150. I really just want to say a huge, heartfelt thank you. I have recently turned 21 and had the epiphany that I WANT to be a homemaker, I WANT to be a stay-at-home mom (in an ideal future), and I WANT to get married at a “young” age. And it’s one of those things where I know there are certain family members who will judge me for wanting these things, let alone strangers: they just don’t understand.
    So thank you, Jami. Your blog and your posts give me the faith and hope to go along with my own sheer stubbornness to pursue my dreams.

  151. Jami, this article was really encouraging! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years now and met in high school and went to church together. Now that I’m a freshman in college and he’s in trade school, we’re thinking more seriously about getting married soon. He has stable income that would be enough to support us, so financing isn’t as bad as most would assume. Even talking to people saying that there’s a possibility we’ll get married in the summer after I finish my freshman year seems to make me appear as a clueless child who wants to play pretend. I think so many people hold this ideal timeline for everyone to follow, and it just isn’t for everybody. Some people might do really well graduating from college, getting a full time job, and then marrying, which is great. But just because that is what lots of people do doesn’t mean that switching up the usual order will result in failure. Getting married shouldn’t be about following the norm, but more about where God’s guiding you to, how strong a couple is, and how much effort they’re willing to put in. So thank you for sharing that it isn’t as impossible and ridiculous as everyone makes it sound!

  152. Hey, my (now) fiance proposed to me super recently on october 14. I am 17 (turning 18 in dec.) and he is 20 (turning 21 in jan.). So many people have told me that I am too young to be engaged and do not take our choice, serious at all. Everyone but our parents asked to make sure “Well, your not getting married for a long while though, right?” And this hurts a lot. Also hearing people say that we cant last in a long marriage is hard to hear. We have been dating for over 3 years now, and we have talked about getting married, seriously, for over 8 months. We are getting married once my fiance graduates college (ill be 19), and i’m still in college. What are your opinions on our situation.

  153. Jamie, I found so much encouragement in your blog post, and reading many of the comments! It is so nice to hear of other young couples striving to live with Christ as the centre of their marriage.
    My husband and I are just coming up on our first anniversary, I was 19 and he was 20 when we got married. We got many of the same comments from people when they heard we were engaged at a young age. Though marriage can be hard work, it is the most rewarding work you will ever do.
    It’s not always sunshine and rainbows obviously, but even in the hard moments our marriage is such a precious thing and I thank God every day for giving my husband and I the gift of marriage at such a young age, as we get to experience life and “grow up” together.
    God bless!

  154. I loved this article and your whole website-so refreshing! I’m 50 now, but I was a mom at 25. I was a spiritually minded girl, not interested in partying and sleeping around. Happy to go to church, be married, keep home, raise babies. Brought me so much joy. My daughter is 25 now and is getting serious with her beau and wants to get married. The worldly response is oh, but she is so young! My response is thrilled! Why wouldn’t I want my daughter to be settled, happy, and loved ? My parents were married at 18, 2 kids by 21, together till my dad went to be with the Lord at 63. My husband’s parents were Orthodox Jews from Israel. His mom was married at 15 and had 9 children! Again, married until the Lord called his dad home at age 90! I think what you are doing is wonderful. I wish you and your family a long beautiful life together ❤️

  155. My husband and I met 2 weeks after I turned 16. We dated and started talking about marriage within the first year. We got married when I was 22 and he was 25. We have now been married for almost 22 years, have 3 amazing kids and love each other as much as we did in our teens. We also were told our relationship wouldn’t last, but I think we proved that wrong. May God Bless you with a long and loving marriage.

  156. My husband and I had a lot of things going against us when we first got married. I consider myself Christian he’s an atheist. We met online in 2005. We started going out pretty quickly after we met. He moved in with me on 06/06/06. We parted for a month or so but couldn’t stand being away from each other. We got married on December 13th 2007. We were both 19. It was 6 days before his birthday. We had our daughter October of 2010. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Seeing so many people on this blog that have married young and are still together give me hope that my marriage will last year and years longer. I fall more and more in love with my husband every passing year.

  157. My husband and I met in early 2010 when I was 19 and he was 18. I had a 1 year old daughter from a previous relationship at the time. We started as friends but within a couple months we were officially a couple. He was amazing to me and my daughter and has always treated her as her own, especially after my ex stopped contacting my daughter. I became pregnant late 2011. We moved in together at that time. Most people told us it was a bad idea. That we would be unable to handle living together and raising 2 children at the same time. When our children were 1 & 4, we decided to get married. Once again we heard from so many people that it was a horrible idea. They said we were wasting our time because we would probably end up divorced after only a year or 2. Many said we were too young to be making this kind of decision and that we should wait until we were closer to our 30s. We were fortunate enough though that our parents were supportive of our decision. We didn’t have a fancy wedding. We get married at city hall on Christmas Eve in 2013 and had our reception party in my parents back yard. I was 23 and my husband was 22. It’s been 4 years now and we are still going strong. Sure we have had ups and downs like any other married couple, and we definitely did things out of order in our relationship, but we love each and we are happy, and that’s all that really matters.

  158. We were high school sweethearts. We got married at 19. I wasn’t pregnant. We just celebrated our 45th anniversary. We love Jesus. May you have a long and happy marriage.

  159. Thank you so much for this wonderful post, and the wonderful comments that follow. I pray God blessed you all! This has definitely made me feel so much better and I have a post to save and look back when I’m married in 2 years. Thank you so much

  160. I was 19, my husband was 20 when we married before his last year of college. We dated 16 months before we became engaged and married 6 mos later. That was 43 years ago!! We have 5 children all college degreed, all married, own homes, daddies in careers that support their families and all mommies in the home with our 17, soon to be 18 grandchildren : ) I have been a stay at home mom all of these years which didn’t necessarily mean I “stayed at home”, but rather had the freedom to be available to support, encourage, and learn along with our children as they pursued the interests God placed within each of them, as well as supporting my husband who opened a new business when our 5th child was born. Wow, does God stretch us and I have learned how he is the perfect provider and can do far more than we could ever achieve on our own or imagine! I have a high school education, however, my children presented me with a “college” diploma when our 5th child graduated from college because of the wealth of knowledge I have gained along the way in reading and researching all of the details that confronted us as a family as well as the opportunities presented to each family member along the way. Now we get to encourage our children as parents and our grandchildren as we pray for the path God has written on each of their hearts. I love that you encourage young moms – I love doing that too hoping every one of you don’t miss a minute of the discovery God has in store for you and your families. Praising God for you!!

  161. Thank you so much for posting this! My husband and I got married May 5th of this year, 16 days before I turned 20, and we encountered every one of these things! I think I’ll still be asked if I’m pregnant up until the 10th month of our marriage, as that’s the most common one. It’s nice to listen to a biblically sound woman who has experienced this too. Keep doing what you do, you are such a blessing!

  162. Thank you!! I am getting married this December at 19 years old (he will be 20), and the hardest part is hearing what everyone else has to say about it. Ours families and friends are so supportive, and excited for us, but it is quite discouraging to see other people’s reactions.