Becoming a Step Parent: I Wasn’t Strong Enough

By Jamie Roubinek, Contributing Writer

Growing up, I always dreamed of marrying a tall, dark, and handsome man.

I found him my first year out of college and fell for him immediately. His name was Jeff and I thought we were perfect for each other. But right away, he had news for me that would stop me dead in my tracks. He had two children from a previous marriage.

It was not part of my fairytale dream I had growing up.

You will never find a young girl who tells you she can’t wait to grow up and meet the man of her dreams, one who comes with children from a previous marriage.

I almost walked away, feeling this was not the man God had intended for me to spend my life with. I grew up with divorced parents and that was not the life I wanted to walk in to. I wasn’t strong enough to live the life of a step parent, or so I thought.

I began to pray about the direction I needed to take and the more I prayed, the more I was led back to Jeff. I couldn’t walk away.

The Lord revealed to me that I really was strong enough. I just needed His guidance, not my own.

I asked for it and He gave it to me.

Jeff and I married two years later, in 2007.

It remains to be one of the greatest days of my life. I promised my life to not only Jeff, but also his two children. We were an immediate family and I became something I never knew I had the strength to be — a step mom.

It is still one of the hardest jobs I’ve had in my life, but I always consider it a huge blessing.

Now, two months after the birth of my third child, we are a family of seven!

I can’t imagine what life would be like for me without each one of these precious people, and I’m so thankful God gave me the strength and guidance I so desperately prayed for seven years ago.

We have experienced so many ups and down with the trials we have faced as a blended family. Jeff and I have had to lean on each other more than I ever imagined, but these trials have only intensified our bond and made our marriage that much stronger.

I’m looking forward to sharing a little more about my life in a blended family and how we make things work, in the months ahead!

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Comments

  1. You sound like you have come through it with grace. Thank you for ministering in a field that I know needs it so badly!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Divorce is never part of God’s plan, but in a fallen world, it happens much too often. The children are innocent in all of this, but it’s wonderful to hear stories of how God brings someone like you into the picture to be a loving, godly parental model for them. My husband and I both went through divorce before God brought us together and my husband is step-dad to my 3 grown children. He is “Pop” to our grandchildren, who were born since we married, so they don’t know him as a “step”. I look forward to reading more of your story. God Bless.
    Darlene Glasgow recently posted..WaitingMy Profile

  3. How inspiring :) I married my husband almost two years ago and each of us brought one daughter from previous relationships. We too are a blended family and I enjoy watching other families as they grow together, and since you are farther along in the journey than I am, I hope to be able to learn from you. Thanks for this post, I’m so happy that you decided that you are strong enough to be a stepmom!
    Alyca recently posted..Life in a BlenderMy Profile

  4. Hi Jamie – thanks for the uplifting thoughts and words of encouragement for all blended families out there. Step parenting and co-parenting can be complex, even in the best of times. Appreciate your insights on the matter.

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